40,000-20,000 BC: Humans migrate into Europe directly from Africa. During this time, they found the cities of London, Paris, Madrid, Lisbon, Rome, Berlin, Krakow, Athens, Kiev, St. Petersburg, Byzantium, and Stockholm, as well as build Stonehenge, the Colosseum, the Pyramids of Egypt, and the Parthenon. The average lifespan was estimated to be around 150 years, all disagreements were resolved peacefully, and the arts flourished. Notable inventions from this time include hand tools, the first standardized writing system, the scientific method, and the Internet.

19,999 BC: After a mysterious event believed to have been connected to Satan himself, the first whites come into existence in the Caucasian mountains. Over the next ten millennia, the spread out from there to savagely rape and kill (not always in that order) Europe's original inhabitants. All concepts of civilization are forgotten for the next 18,500 years. There are no written records either, since the whites destroyed all the Africans' writings, and thus had nothing to learn with.

2,000 BC: Abraham creates a covenant with God, where they agree that as long as his people are perpetual victims, their status as a minority is guaranteed.

1,600 BC: A group of white men discover a secret vault under the Parthenon, where they find massive amounts of ancient records detailing the African civilization that came before them. On the spot, they vow to use their discovery to benefit white males only and found the Patriarchy, and use the information to establish the "first" European civilization, the Mycenaeans.

1,400 BC: Heteronormativity is invented, in order to help suppress the masses. Fat-shaming follows shortly after.

264-146 BC: The Punic Wars, one of the first large-scale wars that utilized the idea of oppression through superior firepower.

44 BC: Julius Caesar is stabbed by his former friend, Brutus. This is a textbook case of the animalistic desires whites possess when left to their own devices.

1 AD: Jesus Christ is born after the Holy Spirit (usually depicted as a white dove) LITERALLY RAPES a proud young WoC named Makeisha. White historians change her name to 'Mary' in later records.

33 AD: Jesus Christ is executed by the Jews, starting a long tradition of Zionist conspirators Israeli imperialists murdering proud Palestinians. However, Jesus' oppression is canceled out when he rises from the dead three days later (Which is triggering to zombie-kin), flaunts the wounds from his crucifixion (ableism), and founds the Catholic Church, a white supremacy group.

476 AD: Rome is invaded and sacked by the Huns, which many historians consider karma for the actions that their ancestors did. Besides, the Romans were probably all racist.

477-1491 AD: The feudal system takes hold in Europe, where men rule the land and oppress proud womyn and PoC. Ironically, this is referred to as the "Dark Ages," since natives of Iraq and Persia were rediscovering long-lost information.

610 AD: Muhammad founds the religion of Islam, in hopes that it will be used to kill thousands of wicked white men. Despite the fact that he never stated this outright, it's heavily implied in the Qur'an.

1096-1099 AD: The inspiration for the very problematic name of the third Indiana Jones film occurs.

1492 AD: Christopher Columbus, as cishet white man, "discovers" America and proceeds to kill everyone he finds. Anthropologists conclude that when whites are placed in an environment with non-hostile members of other races, the white inherently goes berserk.

1493-1775 AD: The Americas are colonized, where PoC (from America and Africa) are enslaved, raped, and/or murdered constantly.

1776 AD: The United States of America, the best oppressive dictatorship in the world, is founded by George Washington, the 503rd Grandmaster of the Patriarchy.

1861-1865 AD: The Civil War happens, where whites are believed to slightly progress when they end slavery in America. However, that hope is crushed when one white man said a slightly offensive remark.

1865 AD: The Ku Klux Klan, an organization of literal murder-rapists, is founded.

1889 AD: Jesus Christ is reincarnated as Adolf Hitler, and vows revenge on the Jews, who lost victim status when their race unanimously became the accountants for the Patriarchy.

1914-1918 AD: The First World War occurs, where the Germans, Austrians, and proud PoC Turks are defeated by evil white imperialists. Their African and Middle-Eastern colonies are literally raped by British soldiers.

1919 AD: Women get the right to vote, but it doesn't matter, since the candidates for office are still white males.

1922 AD: The Soviet Union, also known as the Happiest Place on Earth, is founded by Vladimir Lenin.

1939-1945 AD: The Second World War happens, where more white people fight over stupid white people things. Another notable event is the Holocaust, which is evidence that whites can do good by trying to wiping themselves from the earth.

1958 AD: Chairman Mao demonstrates the flawless efficiency of Communism.

1969 AD: Martin Luther King is shot by James Earl Ray. Upon his deathbed, King retracts everything he ever said and says "Avenge me, kill whitey..."

1995 AD: Al Gore breaks into the secret vault and "invents" the Internet.

2001 AD: Osama bin Laden acts reasonably to try and protect the Middle East from American imperialism.

2007 AD: The greatest thing known to (wo)mankind, Tumblr, is invented.

2013 AD: Nothing that would contradict the idea that all PoC love women and are peaceful happens, especially in Iraq and Syria.

2014 AD: All racism vanishes from America when the movie Selma is released. The Gamergate movement forms replacing racism with hatred for women in video games, game developer Zoe Quinn is unfairly targeted for empowering herself sexualy using video game critics.

2015 AD: Sweden is culturally enriched and becomes a beacon of law-abiding feminism. PoC still love and respect all women.

2016 AD: Racism returns to America as Russia elects Bad Orange Man in a shocking turn of events; people distrust the name Clinton for some reason.

2017 AD: Hitler is reincarnated as Felix Kjellberg. White people continue to ruin everything.