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45 of 54 (83%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements


Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.
Unlocked May 6 @ 7:15am

Ecclesiastical Extraction

Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.
Unlocked May 6 @ 7:34am

Roman Holiday

Get together with your friends and kill something big.
Unlocked May 6 @ 8:01am

Volcano Antagonizer

Die HAARP With A Vengeance.
Unlocked May 6 @ 9:10am

Hot Hot Hot

Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.
Unlocked May 6 @ 9:49am

All Roads Lead To Rome

Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.
Unlocked May 6 @ 11:48am

Are You Not Entertained?

Party like it's 199.
Unlocked May 6 @ 12:42pm

La Nonna é Mobile

Meet a powerful granny.
Unlocked May 6 @ 1:21pm

Holy Driver

Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Unlocked May 6 @ 1:47pm

Harvest Noon

Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Unlocked May 6 @ 2:20pm

See Carcassonne And Die

Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Unlocked May 7 @ 6:29am

The Informant?

What if you could talk to the monsters?
Unlocked May 7 @ 7:33am

Class Reunion

Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
Unlocked May 7 @ 8:44am

The Last Human

Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Unlocked May 7 @ 10:15am

Oil's Well That Ends Well

Escape the Oil Rig.
Unlocked May 7 @ 11:54pm

From Earth With Love

Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Unlocked May 8 @ 12:59am

Serious Sam

Beat the game on any difficulty.
Unlocked May 8 @ 12:59am

Oh, Shut Up

Destroy 10 propaganda drones.
Unlocked May 6 @ 2:21pm


One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.
Unlocked May 6 @ 2:02pm

Max Pain

Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.
Unlocked May 6 @ 9:01am

Heads Up!

Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.
Unlocked May 7 @ 7:08am

Pow Pow!

Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.
Unlocked May 6 @ 2:02pm


Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.
Unlocked May 6 @ 8:47am

Enemy of My Enemy

Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Unlocked May 7 @ 6:41am

Say Hello To My Mini Friend

Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.
Unlocked May 7 @ 8:25am

Harvest Festival

Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.
Unlocked May 6 @ 2:16pm

No Surrender

Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Unlocked May 6 @ 9:00am

Spread the Joy

Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.
Unlocked May 6 @ 7:32am

This Seems Safe

Unlock a S.A.M.
Unlocked May 6 @ 7:39am

Quadruple the Gun

Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.
Unlocked May 6 @ 12:16pm


Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Unlocked May 7 @ 8:56am

The Spirit of Roma

Fight alongside Massimo Murena.
Unlocked May 6 @ 7:45am

Cultist Stimulator

Recover a key stolen by a cultist.
Unlocked May 6 @ 8:17am

For the Cause

Find out what happened to Alessandro.
Unlocked May 6 @ 8:28am

That Belongs In A Museum

Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.
Unlocked May 6 @ 8:55am

That Burning Sensation

Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.
Unlocked May 6 @ 9:38am

Hard Science Fiction

Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Unlocked May 6 @ 11:33am

Signature Move

Sign Secchi's rifle.
Unlocked May 6 @ 12:09pm

You Have Been Wormed

Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
Unlocked May 6 @ 1:11pm

Where's That Girl

Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Unlocked May 6 @ 12:57pm

Serious Art

Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Unlocked May 7 @ 6:52am

The French Achievement

Achievement is your middle name.
Unlocked May 7 @ 7:11am

Classic Hero Stuff

Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Unlocked May 7 @ 8:01am

Quality Time

Go on a date with Hellfire.
Unlocked May 7 @ 9:09am

Brass Lantern

Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Unlocked May 7 @ 11:39pm

Get Serious

Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.

Tear 'n' Rip

Melee a big enemy.

Atomic Wedgie

Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.

Spinal Tap

Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.

All Kleer

Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.

Veni Vidi Witchy

Kill a Witchbride using C4.

Mushroom Surprise

Find out what happened to the English airman.

Southern Gentleman

Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.

Fulbert le Fou

Discover Fulbert's great invention.