jed
Ayy lmao   Korea, Democratic People's Republic of
 
 
NCO

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

If you're adding me, keep in mind that if your profile is private I most likely won't accept your request for obvious reasons.

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Lucas Dec 14, 2020 @ 6:14pm 
♥♥♥♥ a thot in the coupe, yeah, yeah
Whole lotta lean in my pint that's red
With a ho, I'm on a whole lotta red
Whole lotta red, one shot to the head, you dead
Whole lotta red, I'm on a whole lotta red
Lucas Oct 30, 2020 @ 12:25am 
Yeah!
Wayne's world
Planet Rock
Panties drop
And the tops
And she gonna rock 'til the camera stop
And I sing about angels like Angela (rock)
And Pamela (rock)
And Samantha (rock)
And Amanda (rock)
And Tamara (rock)
"Ménage à trois" [french for: 3-some]
I'm in here like b**** what's up
halo Sep 15, 2018 @ 8:58pm 
Ho ho ho ha ha 😂🤣😂, ho ho ho he ha🤣🤣. Hello there😃👋, old chum👴👵. I’m 🙅‍♀️ gnot 🙅‍♀️a gnelf🧝👎. I’m 🙅‍♀️gnot🙅‍♀️ a gnoblin👺👎👺. I’m a gnome🎅😁!! And you’ve been, GNOMED🎅🤣😂😂🤣🤣!!!
halo Jul 20, 2018 @ 9:04pm 
minnis
halo Jul 1, 2018 @ 7:32pm 
Many, many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many many, many, many men
Wish death upon me
halo May 22, 2018 @ 1:45pm 
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