Okay so here's a few things...

Dota is good at it's core. The only thing is that, well sometimes It's not good. You know that feeling when your beta a-hole is getting ready for a job interview that you're not prepared for? Well this is a lot like that. You quickly youtube how to tie a tie, you button up your Walmart brand white dress shirt and you feel questionable but semi-confidant for this interview. You spend your last $10 on gas money to drive half way across town. This is me assuming you even have a car, you were born in the 90's afterall you silly prick.

You arrive 20 minutes early for the interview thinking that somehow it's going to earn you brownie points with the HR manager that doesn't even know you're next on his schedule. You get into the the his office with the boring white painted walls with the inspirational poster that's framed on the wall hanging behind him. He asks you, do you support or core? At this point you're a big man, of course you're THE hard carry. He takes his pen and writes something down. You sit there smiling thinking "I'm glad of the way I responded to that" feeling more confident for the upcoming questions. He asks you of your home life, more specifically your love life. You freeze. Too afraid to look him in the eye. Looking at your shoes you reply "it's okay". You won't let him know you recently parted ways with someone you spend an exceeding amount of time with. A waste of time, it doesn't matter anyways you can't let him know, it would damage your interview. No one wants to hire broken soul, not even AT&T.

Thinking back to your past relationship, was there even a good memory? Was she even a support in Dota? A hard carry like you can only be compatible with a support, right? Turns out no. She was a Lich player. That's great and all but when she doesn't apply her Frost Armour on you, you begin to notice. And definitely you won't admit to your future employer that you creeped her Instagram looking at who like her photos. A hard carry like you doesn't give a ♥♥♥♥ about such things. Most definitely you won't tell your future employer that you only solo offlane now, he can't know you are all alone. He wouldn't hire you, it can't happen! So instead of telling him you got drunk, looked at your ex's current lover on Facebook and listened to Lana Del Rey like a beta. You tell him you haven't had a sick day in over two years, you tell him a related job experience involving your ability to work unsupervised.

The HR manager nods in approval and mark more on this mysterious white paper. You feel even better. You're a shoe in for the job.There's no way your not getting this, things are looking up. Especially since your ex girlfriend is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a guy that looks like he probably mids. It doesn't matter. You are on top of the world. You are the carry.

He looks at his paper, then he looks up at you with a sly smile. "We will be in touch, unfortunately this position has been filled at this time but we will contact you when we need to". Everything is spinning, why did I even try? Why am I here? The white walls start closing in and you feel small. You should've saved that $10 for your McDouble and large fries. Now you're broke, no items you hold possession of. You're a support and you didn't even know it. Probably a Crystal Maiden one too TBH. You try and ult but you have no BKB, the HR manager hits you with a quick stun and you lay there hopeless,

At least you tried to carry but someone else beat you to the punch. I heard he's a nice man from Peru with a good skill set. At least that's what he says. You couldn't keep your relationship together, you're too dumb to understand what it takes to even "try". You remember saying "I'm glad it's over". Now you have no significant other and no job at Arby's.

5/5