4,196 people found this review helpful
7,797 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 78.3 hrs on record
Posted: Feb 13, 2018 @ 1:54am
Updated: Feb 13, 2018 @ 1:56am

on my first quest i was told to get some tools back from the town drunk.

i broke into his house to try to steal them back, but the chest was locked.

i tried to find the guy who sells lockpicks but gave up on that and decided to try a different way.

i went back and just started punching the man, and was forced to run for my life after realizing he has the hands.

i went to some womans home and knocked her unconscious and stole her onions, then sold the onions to buy charcoal for my father.

i then used the rest of the gold to go to the tavern and get drunk, thinking that it would up my speech enough to convince my fellow drunk to give the tools back.

i did not take into account that people do not want to talk after you punch them, and he quickly ran to a guard and i was thrown into jail.

i then burned to death in jail and had to restart.

this was the tutorial.
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156 Comments
EM3 Oct 20, 2018 @ 11:48am 
if things can get this shitfaced in a tutorial then you know its a good game
Brasso-UK Mar 3, 2018 @ 7:11pm 
LMAO i did the same things when i first started lol
DJ Soru Mar 2, 2018 @ 4:17am 
Something tells me this is the real reason why Giant Bomb's staff didn't want to review this game.

Oh well, nothing of value was lost. The players experiences speak for themselves. I'm actually going to do something that is rare of me: buy a game full price, and this is the game
Pyjama_Man Feb 28, 2018 @ 11:18am 
Nice:steamhappy:
lotion Feb 20, 2018 @ 3:31pm 
@Dominatus

I hope that it won't take too long to clean all that vomit off your keyboard.
Dominatus Feb 20, 2018 @ 2:09pm 
lets see how many of my reviews will get banned by steam moderators now.. I can't edit my review or change it to a negative or positive so please waste their time and report this review which was posted yesterday...

Game saving, I don't give a♥♥♥♥♥♥ saves 2% of the time after sleeping, the schnaps♥♥♥♥♥♥is ♥♥♥♥ing gay for ♥♥♥♥♥♥s and queer♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I am rage quitting after 2 hours of playthrough and the game didn't save a single ♥♥♥♥ing time. LOST 2 HOURS OF MY ♥♥♥♥ING LIFE BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE A (****♥♥♥♥ING GAME****) IS BY USING THE INGAME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥T. I have to download a ♥♥♥♥ing mod to do something ALL GAMES already have built into it. WTF?

Thumbs down because I have to use a mod to save.

Besides that GREAT ♥♥♥♥ING GAME!
Draco on my back Feb 20, 2018 @ 10:09am 
"he had the hands"
bayaholic Feb 20, 2018 @ 8:53am 
That is a funny review. I read this as my game was downloading. Thanks for the heads up. Do not punch a person in the face if you want to talk to them later. LOL.:steamhappy:
#OneMoment ARG Feb 20, 2018 @ 7:50am 
I love this review
ᵒᵏ Feb 20, 2018 @ 7:23am 
nice smerf account with an overwatch ban lmao