"Contra" #PlayOpenFortress
Christopher Harper   Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States
You will regret being born useless and human.

READ MY WRITTEN WEBSERIAL, RECURSION [r132.thexephyrboard.net]

I write for a living.

Competitive Experience
UGC Steel Season 12 - Having a Gay Old Time [Main Spy] (2-6)
UGC Steel Season 13 - Having a Gay Old Time [Main Spy] (4-4)
UGC Steel Season 14 - Muffin Express [Main Spy] (3-4)
UGC Steel Season 15 - The Accidents [Main Spy] (8-4)
UGC Silver Season 16 - The Accidents [Main Spy] (4-4)
UGC Silver Season 17 - The Taco Stand [Main Spy] (4-4)
UGC Silver Season 18 - The Worst Guys [Team Cap, Main Spy] (4-4)
UGC Silver Season 19 - Purveyors Of Obscure Trivia [Main Spy] (4-5)
UGC Silver Season 21 - Silver Teams Don't Work [Team Cap, Main Spy] (4-5)

RGL Highlander Invite Season 5 - Impostors [Sub Spy] (1-6)
RGL Highlander Advanced Season 6 - Not The Worst [Team Cap, Main Spy]
Currently Offline
Favorite Game
Hours played
1:51 AM - Travis Touchdown: lol no i'll just call you
1:51 AM - Saponaceous: probably not the best idea
1:53 AM - Saponaceous: i much prefer to have my phone conversations in private
1:53 AM - Saponaceous: especially conversations with you
1:53 AM - Travis Touchdown: B)
1:54 AM - Saponaceous: obviously so as not to inflict you on anyone else
1:54 AM - Travis Touchdown: oh
1:54 AM - Travis Touchdown: :(
1:54 AM - Saponaceous: heeheee

1:55 AM - Saponaceous: so if you called i'd just make noncommital noises the entire time
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: "mm"
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: "mmhm"
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: "i see"
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: "of course"
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: "thanks mom"
1:56 AM - Saponaceous: that sort of thing
1:58 AM - Travis Touchdown: are you serious
1:58 AM - Travis Touchdown: am I going to be your dirty secret
[10/11/2013 2:02:12 AM] Tucker Wooley: through the forest, a resounding "thanks mom"
[10/11/2013 2:02:38 AM] Tucker Wooley: the sasquatch turns to listen. he has not seen his mother since the great purge of 1809

3:40 PM - Groden: i dont think i can pub without having at least 2 steam friends join me now
3:41 PM - Travis Touchdown: like you don't wanna play without your friends or your friends won't get off your dick
3:41 PM - Groden: latter
3:41 PM - Groden: i don't mind though
3:41 PM - Travis Touchdown: of course you don't
3:42 PM - Travis Touchdown: they're on your dick

3:03 PM - Tabuu: so that I could sooner get into the swing of showing that I'm not an impulsive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
3:04 PM - Tabuu: which failed because I was in the mindset of an impulsive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at the time
3:04 PM - 悪夢のデロリアン: right
3:04 PM - Tabuu: if you think like an impulsive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for like
3:04 PM - Tabuu: five years
3:04 PM - Tabuu: it becomes really hard to shake, it turns out
3:04 PM - 悪夢のデロリアン: haha I bet

1:04 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: so in this context
1:04 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: what do you mean by later
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: like later today
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this week
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this month
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this year
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this decade
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this century
1:07 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: or later this millenia
1:08 PM - katryna is now Away.
1:10 PM - ATF_Contra / -dictory: oh no.

(talking about Cell from DBZ attacking men in fursuits in this image: https://36.media.tumblr.com/5e84018b26d3d559f7885ad4ea651d22/tumblr_o436ieSRlt1tsq72qo1_1280.png)
Me: Cell's the best villain for purging the furry scum.
Keroa: He's not a villain.
Me: He drinks people.
Keroa: What?
Me: He drinks peopl-
Keroa: Furries aren't people.

12:55 PM - milk: ill fill my mouth with milk
12:55 PM - milk: you can tattoo your ♥♥♥♥ to look like a cookie
12:55 PM - milk: and justdip it in
12:55 PM - Contra: yes
12:56 PM - Contra: god yes
12:56 PM - milk: a cookie with cream filling ;)
in response to above^
8:25 PM - bring your skeleton to work day: tattoing ur dick and dippin it into someones milk filled mouth #justguythings

10:18 PM - Stooben: hey contra
10:26 PM - Contra: please
10:26 PM - Contra: don't do it
10:27 PM - Stooben: pls
10:27 PM - Stooben: answer the question
10:27 PM - Contra: don't
10:27 PM - Contra: don't make me do this
10:27 PM - Stooben: pls, it'll make me all happy n stuff
10:28 PM - Contra: R?
10:28 PM - Stooben: you think it's r... but a pirate's true love be the c...
10:29 PM - Contra: get out

8:42 PM - pizza "don't uber me" butt 8): It's not failing to get kills, it's "creating space"

5:40 AM - TWG Contra: why are all of your friends ♥♥♥♥♥
5:40 AM - TWG Contra: (this includes me)

8:21 PM - Contra: ( < pac man approaches ( <
8:21 PM - Contra: what do you do
8:21 PM - killohurtz: leave the room
8:22 PM - Contra: ( < pac man bumps into the door and dies ( <
8:22 PM - Contra: what do you do
8:22 PM - killohurtz: ignore
8:28 PM - Contra: kilo confirmed scariest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on my friends list

12:16 AM - Groden is now Online.
12:30 AM - Contra: "Stop being poor," the rich man says, throwing bags of money at homeless people, "No, seriously. Here."
12:36 AM - Groden: are you obama
12:37 AM - Contra: possibly
12:37 AM - Contra: do you wanna see my stimulus package
12:38 AM - Groden: i want you to drill me harder than you do saudi arabia
12:38 AM - Contra: oh god

^ talking about above
Me: "Do you want /me/ to drill you harder than Saudi Arabia?"
SECRET FWB: "I think that's already been established."

"I LVOE TRAINS" - goldfeyesh

Recent Activity

231 hrs on record
last played on Jul 10
3,421 hrs on record
last played on Jul 9
1.3 hrs on record
last played on Jul 9
ghost May 10 @ 8:50pm 
adding about scrims
megan Apr 20 @ 12:48am 
q!knd.glodfyeehs May 2, 2018 @ 9:47pm 
jesus man that's a nice bottle of water there to drink please just go ahead and sip it for me that's right perfect form there with the water bottle notice the 45 degree tilt wowee just keep drinking that water man, purified right from the alps that's some fresh water right there right there I say wow get in there
kenneth Apr 12, 2018 @ 6:49pm 
forgive english, i am Russia. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i ♥♥♥♥ this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin ♥♥♥♥♥♥. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ♥♥♥, I CUM IN ♥♥♥" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.I hang up phone and am very embarrass.
Sea Hawk Mar 26, 2018 @ 2:34pm 
god your so cute lol im having trouble writing this messge cus im scared ull reject me lol ur just so ♥♥♥♥nig huggable >w<, but ya do u wanna go out sometime lol i was thinkin maybe we can goto starbucks and we can go bird spotting together, maybe watch cute cat videos on my iPhone in the coffee shop while we romantically stare at each other for hours stragiht >w< don't get me wrong i like sex but you look like the type of person i'd just romantically be with and forget all about sex and just give you a snog daily :3
milk Jan 18, 2018 @ 10:56pm 
*crushes up adderall* *SSSNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRTTTTT* *cough cough* whew thats some GOOD ♥♥♥♥ right there *rips bong*