Contentiously
Jason Clement   United States
 
 
Once upon a time, the end.
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Once upon a moon, there lived a khajiit called K'Lem. K'Lem was not a bad khajiit, but K'Lem liked to collect things. This is a story of K'Lem collecting things. K'Lem had come into a land called Skyrim in K'Lem's quest for the collection of things, and because of the basturd legion imperial scum, K'Lem had lost all of the many things K'Lem's had collected, but that is not this story. And so K'Lem had to begin K'Lem's collection anew.

The legion scum had even attempted to kill K'Lem, but that is not this story. And what's more, sometime in K'Lem's recent past in a story that is also not this story, K'Lem was found to be a thing called dragonborn, and because of this, K'Lem was given a servant called Lydia. K'Lem was not sure how this happened, but K'Lem was glad, for Lydia could carry many things, though she did not seem to like K'Lem very much.

K'Lem needed a place to store the many collections of things that K'Lem planned to acquire. K'Lem had lost all of K'Lem's things and coins, and the local places were far more costly than the coins K'Lem had, and so K'Lem decided to earn coins doing favors for the locals. These favors bade K'Lem west, and so that is where K'Lem and Lydia set paw.

Very soon, K'Lem and Lydia came upon a fort filled with bad men. Bandits they called themselves. They were bandit scum. K'Lem was smart and thought it wise to avoid such men that called themselves this, and so K'Lem carved a wide path around the fort. However, the bandit scum were quick to attack regardless of K'Lem's unprovocations, and Lydia was quick to reciprocate. And K'Lem felt it K'Lem's duty to join Lydia in her reciprocation.

K'Lem and Lydia fell the bad bandit scum with much mightiness! The scum fell easily before the might of K'Lem and Lydia! What wonderful moons that blessed K'Lem and Lydia that day!

What's more, the bandits had things! Many things! Shiny things and not so shiny things! And K'Lem was smart and had an idea. K'Lem need not collect all of the things! K'Lem could sell some of the lesser things to buy his collection place! Maybe even this fort would provide enough lesser things to afford the place! Thus it was that K'Lem and Lydia set paw inside the fort in search of more bandit scums and their things.

Inside the fort, K'Lem and Lydia were sneaky and killed many scums. The scum bandits fell easily in this way, one and two at a time. But they also found a not scum inside. There was a nice Nord lady that gave talk and niceness, and K'Lem was not a bad khajiit, so K'Lem and Lydia let the nice Nord lady be.

Soon, K'Lem and Lydia came upon a mighty bandit scum that called itself thug bandit. Thug bandit was very mighty, indeed, and hurt K'Lem time and again. One swing of thug bandit's mighty two-handed hurty thing made K'Lem's head go fuzzy like too much skooma. The battle was hard fought and very long, and it took Lydia distracting thug bandit’s attention while K'Lem shot thug bandit with arrows for thug bandit to fall. The mightiness of K'Lem and Lydia had vanquished the entire bandit band! And K'Lem was glad and gave thanks to the moons, and relished in K'Lem's victory and all the many things K'Lem had won.

But K'Lem and Lydia could not carry all the things. There were too many things! But, Whiterun was still in sight, and K'Lem was smart and K'Lem had another idea. K'Lem decided to return with Lydia to Whiterun to sell all the things K’Lem and Lydia could carry. K’Lem planned to quickly return to the fort to collect the rest of the things. K'Lem was amazed at K'Lem's smartness!

K'Lem had not finished exploring the fort, however, and K'Lem was most curious about the unknown upstairs, and so K'Lem ran with most haste to Whiterun, and K’Lem and Lydia ran with such speed that even the deer were amazed!

However, when K'Lem returned, the basturd legion emperial scum had taken over! As if they had been waiting to move in! The fort was completely renovated by the imperial scum, and all K'Lem's hard won things were gone! All of the things! What’s more, the basturd scum had gall enough to tell K'Lem that K'Lem did not belong! That K'Lem should leave! But this was K'Lem's hard-won fort!

K'Lem was not a bad khajiit, but K'Lem had lost all his hard-won things, and so K'Lem was angered, and K'Lem decided to take the legion scum’s things as payment. And so, once again K'Lem and Lydia were sneaky in the fort, and they took all the things they could carry while avoiding the basturd legion scums.

And the nice Nord lady was still there serving the imperial scums. K'Lem thought that maybe she must come with the fort.

Certainly K'Lem could not leave without exploring the unknown upstairs and satiating K'Lem's curiosity, and so K'Lem went to the unknown upstairs to find that the basturd imperial captain had made it his own place. And as K'Lem was looking and wondering what the unknown upstairs was like when it was the mighty and worthy thug bandit’s own place, the basturd legion captain attacked K'Lem! For trespassing! This was K'Lem's hard-won fort and K'Lem was being attacked by the basturd legion imperial captain scum! But captain scum was no match for mighty K'Lem, and basturd captain fell easily! And captain scum had so many things for K'Lem to take! And K'Lem was no longer angered.

K'Lem and Lydia went downstairs to leave the fort while carrying all the things K'Lem and Lydia could carry. The basturd soldiers were still hostile, however, and one of them attacked K'Lem for trespassing! Soon all the basturd soldier legion scum were attacking K'Lem and Lydia! Many soldiers! At least 8! But they were no match for mighty K'Lem and Lydia! Even 15 against K'Lem and Lydia! Or maybe it was 25! Mighty K'Lem and Lydia vanquished them all!

K'Lem no longer wondered why the basturd legion imperials had moved in with such haste. Certainly they had been no match for the mighty thug bandit, and they needed a mighty warrior like K'Lem and Lydia to vanquish the bandits before they could move in. K'Lem decided the basturd legion scums deserved the death they received and K'Lem was glad.

Then it was time for K’Lem and Lydia to gather all the hard-won things to collect and sell, but this time K'Lem took no chances and weighed K’Lem and Lydia down with everything in the fort. All of the things. All of the many imperial things. And it was a very long and tiring and laborious short trip to Whiterun.

And that is the story of how K'Lem bought K'Lem's collection place.

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Comments
Sasuara Mar 21 @ 6:36pm 
inhale dong
76561198292631324 Aug 12, 2017 @ 11:02am 
Good motto.