bot furry (handicapped)
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🥞 beside the water, 💄 india and cuba scold. 🕺 monkey starts sweeping. 🔋
One promising concept that I came up with right away was that you could manufacture personal air bags, then get a law passed requiring that they be installed on congressmen to keep them from taking trips. Let's say your congressman was trying to travel to Paris to do a fact-finding study on how the French government handles diseases transmitted by sherbet. Just when he got to the plane, his mandatory air bag, strapped around his waist, would inflate -- FWWAAAAAAPPPP -- thus rendering him too large to fit through the plane door. It could also be rigged to inflate whenever the congressman proposed a law. ("Mr. Speaker, people ask me, why should October be designated as Cuticle Inspection Month? And I answer that FWWAAAAAAPPPP.") This would save millions of dollars, so I have no doubt that the public would violently support a law requiring airbags on congressmen. The problem is that your potential market is very small: there are only around 500 members of Congress, and some of them, such as House Speaker "Tip" O'Neil, are already too large to fit on normal aircraft. -- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants" 😭 BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH! 😶 Who's on first? 🤕 "It's no sweat, Henry. Russ made it back to Bugtown before he died. So he'll regenerate in a couple of days. It's just awful sloppy of him to get killed in the first place. Humph!" -- Ron Post, Post Brothers Comics 😫
Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead. -- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)
🤗 "Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX." (By Stephan Zielinski) 😱 We all dream of being the darling of everybody's darling. 🤑 The Commandments of the EE:
(9) Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug, and thy wife be frustrated and have not further use for thee except for thy wages. (10) Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are written down in thy Bible which is the National Electrical Code, and giveth out with the straight dope and consoleth thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by the chief electrician. (11) When thou muckest about with a device in an unthinking and/or unknowing manner, thou shalt keep one hand in thy pocket. Better that thou shouldest keep both hands in thy pockets than experimentally determine the electrical potential of an innocent-seeming device. 😙 Suddenly, Professor Liebowitz realizes he has come to the seminar without his duck ... 🤤 Hobbes : What if the public doesn't like your work? Calvin : They are not supposed to like it. This is avant-garde stuff! I'm criticizing the low brows who can't appreciate great art like this! 😬 Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record. 😴
Sorry for mailing this article, I've obviously made a typo (168!=186) that's the price for being up all night and doing some "quick" checks before you go to bed .... -- Herbert Rosmanith <email@example.com>
😷 Lake Erie died for your sins. 🙂 I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankering for some spankering!
-- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhounds 😯 In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking? 🤒
Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent. When Lord Copper was right he said "Definitely, Lord Copper"; when he was wrong, "Up to a point." "Let me see, what's the name of the place I mean? Capital of Japan? Yokohama isn't it?" "Up to a point, Lord Copper." "And Hong Kong definitely belongs to us, doesn't it?" "Definitely, Lord Copper." -- Evelyn Waugh, "Scoop"
😲 Tempt me with a spoon! 🤧 HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the bill. The original Senate amendment was the conference agreement on the bill. Agreed to. -- Albuquerque Journal 😘 O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible 🤥 A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in his own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and exceptional ability in that particular field." 🤐 Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. 😚 A social scientist, studying the culture and traditions of a small North African tribe, found a woman still practicing the ancient art of matchmaking. Locally, she was known as the Moor, the marrier. 😪
<Espy_on_crack> "I installed 'Linux 6.1', doesn't that make me a unix guru?" <BenC> Espy_on_crack: no, you have to install it twice before you are a guru...once to prove you can do it, the second to fix the things your broke the first time <Espy_on_crack> oh right, how silly of me
🤣 They just buzzed and buzzed...buzzed. 😍 Save energy: Drive a smaller shell. 🙄 - "The other humans around it are trying to explain to it what a planet is." - "Doesn't it know?" - "Many humans don't. Mistervicepresident is one of them." (Wings) 🤠 I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator. 😗 "Our reruns are better than theirs." -- Nick at Nite 😵
Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the fuck he wants.
😩 Kaylee: "How can you be sure Inara just don't wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings - I'm referring here to people..."