Zurkov
Gray   Kansas, United States
 
 
Perfectionist tryhard, at your service. I pioneered wait-testing for TF2 scripting.
I might also be at least partially responsible for visible health numbers in TF2.

Steam Trade Offer link is here, if you need it. :D:
Currently Online
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29 Hours played
The thing that impresses me the most about Undertale isn't the game itself, nor the fact that it was made on a rubbish game engine by one guy with minimal gamedev experience doing almost everything by himself (Toby Fox was able to build this in a cave! ...with a box of scraps!), nor the fact that it somehow managed to obtain virtually universal acclaim. Not that those aren't pretty impressive in and of themselves!

But I'd say the very most impressive thing about it is that despite every song on the soundtrack being beset by multitudes of remarkably talented musicians, there are terrifyingly few pieces of fan-music that can directly compete with the original tracks, which seems an absolutely preposterous notion considering that nothing should withstand creative power of that magnitude.

When the Internet bears such an impossible volume of raw energy down on anything, things generally splinter like a cheap toy. This is akin to watching a massive barrage ricochet harmlessly off of a tiny, dog-shaped tank. Needless to say, Toby Fox is a seriously good musician.


TL;DR: it's good play it. Even if you don't care for the game, you'll probably like the music. I don't even like music and I like the music
Screenshot Showcase
Garry's Mod
6 2
Collection Statistics
Collection Overview:
All available weapons
☐ Superior non-Strange item quality
Vintage hat for each class
☒ Paint: Aged Moustache Grey
Vintage weapons
☒ Post-Mannconomy Vintages
☑ Spells: Exorcism, Pumpkin Bombs, Spectral Fire
☒ Professional Killstreaks

Cosmetics With Additional Effects:
Items that have a special feature aside from particle effects, self-illumination, or jiggle-bones.

☐ Boston Boom-Bringer
☐ Eliminating the Impossible set
☐ Dual-Purpose Fruit set
☑ Sharp Dresser
☐ Grandmaster
  Golden Wrench / Saxxy / Golden Frying Pan
Promotional items
☑ Lumbricus Lid
Pip-Boy
Ball-Kicking Boots
☑ Apoco-Fists
☐ Ap-Sap
Hardy Laurel
☐ Isolated Merc set
☐ Isolationist Pack set
Polycount Pack
☑ Special Delivery set
☑ Tank Buster set
☑ Gas Jockey's Gear set
☑ Croc-o-Style set
☑ Saharan Spy set
Decal items
☑ Conscientious Objector
Flair!
☐ Clan Pride
☐ Photo Badge
Scream Fortress III
☑ Bombinomicon
☑ Tin Soldier set
☐ Highland Hound set
☐ FrankenHeavy set
☐ Brundle Bundle set
Scream Fortress IV
Voodoo-Cursed Souls
☐ Grand Duchess set
Scream Fortress V
☑ Birdheads
Magical Mercenary
☑ Haunted Hat
☑ Second Opinion
☑ Archimedes the Undying
☑ Larval Lid
☐ Spellbinder's Bonnet
Breadmonsters
Mutated Milk
Bread Bite
Self-Aware Beauty Mark
☐ Snack Attack
Invasion Update
☐ Batsaber
☑ Shooting Star
☐ C.A.P.P.E.R.

Vintage Weapon Killstreak Project:
PROGRESS: 54% COMPLETE

☐ Unobtained: 06
☒ Fabricators: 22
☑ Completed:  09
  Total:     37

Killstreakers:
 5x Hypno-Beam:     For weapons designed to stun, panic, and/or confuse.
 6x Flames:       For weapons used by men who want to watch the world burn.
 6x Incinerator:      For weapons which make sacrifices for damage potential.
 5x Tornado:        For weapons about being at the right place at the right time.
 5x Cerebral Discharge:  For weapons with the ability to deliver crit-boosted death.
 5x Singularity:     For weapons that draw their power from your victims.
 5x Fire Horns:     For weapons where every shot counts.

Sheens:          Assigned based on weapon aesthetics or function.
 5x Hot Rod
 5x Deadly Daffodil
 6x Manndarin
 4x Mean Green
 5x Agonizing Emerald
 6x Villainous Violet
 6x Team Shine

Vintage Weapon Collection:
All weapons have all possible Halloween spells unless otherwise indicated.

Blutsauger
☒ Singularity: Hot Rod.

Kritzkrieg Level: 72.
☑ Cerebral Discharge: Team Shine.

Übersaw Level: 88.
☑ Singularity: Team Shine.

Backburner
☑ Flames: Mean Green.

Flare Gun Level 99.
☐ Flames: Team Shine.

Axtinguisher
☒ Flames: Deadly Daffodil.

Natascha
☒ Hypno-Beam: Villainous Violet.

Sandvich Level: 88.

Killing Gloves of Boxing
☒ Cerebral Discharge: Team Shine.

Force-A-Nature Level: 87.
☐ Hypno-Beam: Mean Green

Bonk! Atomic Punch Level: 73.

Sandman Level: 79.
☒ Hypno-Beam: Manndarin.

Huntsman Level: 36.
☐ Fire Horns: Manndarin.

Razorback

Jarate

Ambassador
☒ Fire Horns: Deadly Daffodil.

Dead Ringer

Cloak and Dagger Level: 3.

Scottish Resistance
☑ Incinerator: Mean Green.

Chargin' Targe
☒ Cerebral Discharge: Villainous Violet.

Eyelander
☐ Singularity: Agonizing Emerald.

Direct Hit
☒ Incinerator: Agonizing Emerald.

Buff Banner

Gunboats

Equalizer
☒ Incinerator: Deadly Daffodil.
Description: "Crit damage done at health: 125 ≈ 87%, 150 ≈ 76%, 175 ≈ 65%, 200 ≈ 54%, 300 ≈ 9%"

Pain Train
☒ Hypno-Beam: Manndarin.

Homewrecker
☑ Tornado: Villainous Violet.

Dalokohs Bar

Lugermorph [Not obtained.]
☒ Incinerator: Villainous Violet.

Crit-a-Cola

Scotsman's Skullcutter
☒ Tornado: Villainous Violet.

Tribalman's Shiv
☒ Hypno-Beam: Hot Rod.

Frontier Justice
☑ Cerebral Discharge: Team Shine.

Wrangler

Gunslinger
☒ Flames: Hot Rod.

Southern Hospitality
☑ Incinerator: Agonizing Emerald.

Loch-n-Load
☐ Fire Horns: Agonizing Emerald.

Ullapool Caber Spells: None.
☒ Fire Horns: Mean Green.

Brass Beast
☒ Tornado: Deadly Daffodil.

Buffalo Steak Sandvich

Warrior's Spirit
☒ Incinerator: Manndarin.

Crusader's Crossbow
☑ Fire Horns: Hot Rod.

Amputator
☒ Tornado: Team Shine.

Sun-on-a-Stick Spells: None.
☒ Flames: Manndarin.

Sharpened Volcano Fragment
☒ Flames: Manndarin.

Fan O'War [Not obtained.]
☒ Cerebral Discharge: Deadly Daffodil.

Concheror [Not obtained.]

Half-Zatoichi
☑ Singularity: Hot Rod.

Conniver's Kunai
☒ Singularity: Villainous Violet.

Escape Plan
☐ Tornado: Agonizing Emerald.

Vintage Cosmetic Collection:
Scout:   Vintage Whoopee Cap
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Soldier:   Vintage Drill Sergeant's Hat
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Pyro:     Vintage Vintage Merryweather
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Demoman: Vintage Glenngary Bonnet
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Heavy:   Vintage Officer's Ushanka
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Engineer:  Vintage Texas Ten Gallon
      ☑ Aged Moustache Grey
Sniper:   Vintage Shooter's Sola Topi
      ☐ [Unpainted]
Spy:    Vintage Fancy Fedora
      ☐ [Unpainted]

Recent Activity

17.6 hrs on record
last played on Aug 13
3,420 hrs on record
last played on Aug 13
5.1 hrs on record
last played on Aug 12
Lyrical Madness Mar 17 @ 11:16am 
No, ♥♥♥♥ Joeg, Sell me your tomb readers :P
DarkDefiler Jan 1 @ 1:46pm 
Happy New Years!
DarkDefiler Dec 25, 2018 @ 5:09pm 
Merry Christmas! and Happy Holidays!
¡ byteframe 🤧 is foxy ! Dec 4, 2018 @ 7:13pm 
Free Jokes! Sorry if they're crude!

🥗 * 👔 * 🚙 * 🚘 * 📣 * 🌂 * 📕 * 🐝 * 🎍 * 🎫 * 🚙 * 🍆 * 👃 * 🌋 * 🍧 * 🌸
ㅤ* My mate Sid was a victim of I.D. theft. Now we just call him S.
ㅤ* The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
ㅤ* Two men walking their dogs pass each other in a graveyard. The first man says to the second, "Morning." "No", says the second man. "Just walking the dog."
🌳 * 😺 * 🚕 * 🕺 * 💗 * 🐳 * 📘 * 🌽 * 🚗 * 🔋 * 💃 * 🍇 * 🐛 * 🥞 * 🚘 * 👽

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Ba-Dum-Tiss!
Joeg™ Aug 5, 2018 @ 11:45am 
Sell me your tomb readers :D
DarkDefiler Dec 31, 2017 @ 12:15pm 
Happy New Years Eve!