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88 of 89 (99%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Cesar Millan is Gay

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Gary vs. a Giant Penis

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Ape Rape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Bitches Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

Reddit's Famous Double Dong

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked May 25, 2016 @ 1:23pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.



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