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29 of 29 (100%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

ACHIEVEMENT WHORE

Unlock all achievements
Unlocked May 13, 2016 @ 9:50am

1-800-CLEARED

Finish the game
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:54am

1-800-GETHELP

Finish the game on hard mode
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:54am

1-800-GODDAMN

Get A+ on all levels on normal
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:54am

NUCLEAR WASTE

They won't reach the Nuclear Throne
Unlocked May 7, 2016 @ 6:14am

FANTASTIC!

Unlock all the Fans
Unlocked May 8, 2016 @ 11:38am

THESE ARE MY RIFLES, THESE ARE MY GUNS...

Unlock all weapons for the Soldier
Unlocked May 8, 2016 @ 11:05am

SNAKE CHARMER

Unlock all snake masks
Unlocked May 9, 2016 @ 1:59pm

WHAT YOU LEAVE FOR YOUR SONS

Unlock all of the Son's techniques
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

FANATIC

Clear a level with each Fan
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

FAMILY BUSINESS

Clear a level with each of the Son's techniques
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

SNAKES ON A HEAD

Clear a level with each snake mask
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

DON'T LET ANGER GET THE BEST OF YOU

Clear all of the Writer's levels without killing
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Get the big picture
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

A BOX FULL OF SHARP OBJECTS

Use every weapon in the game at least once
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE

Destroy 100 electronic devices
Unlocked May 8, 2016 @ 1:44am

KARMA

Die 1000 times
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:49am

GENOCIDE

Kill 50,000 enemies
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

GOT YOUR BACK

Shoot two enemies during a chainsaw finish
Unlocked May 7, 2016 @ 1:54am

FOLLOW THE SCRIPT

Do as the Director says!
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

ASSASSIN'S CRED

Clear the 1st floor of NO MERCY with the silencer
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

DEAD SILENT

Finish SUBWAY without the Gang Leader seeing you
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

I'M COMING IN AND I'M UNARMED!

Finish HOMICIDE without using guns
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

STARE INTO THE ABYSS

Unlock THE ABYSS
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

THE BAR OF BROKEN HEROES

Meet up with the Biker
Unlocked May 5, 2016 @ 12:47pm

COMBO BEGINNER

Perform a 5x combo
Unlocked May 7, 2016 @ 7:53am

COMBO INTERMEDIATE

Perform a 10x combo
Unlocked May 10, 2016 @ 11:32am

COMBO MASTER

Perform a 15x combo
Unlocked May 15, 2016 @ 10:55am

COMBO GOD

Perform a 20x combo