10
Products
reviewed
526
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Hank

Showing 1-10 of 10 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
71.4 hrs on record
Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of despair.

Great soundtrack btw
Posted November 24, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
45.9 hrs on record (44.1 hrs at review time)
Issa good game
Posted November 25, 2020.
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48 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
5
14.7 hrs on record
THIS RECOMMENDATION COMES WITH A FEW CAVEATS. This game is not for everyone.
I have 198% completion (out of likely 200%).

+ Palatable art style, filled with subtle animations to make the game feel more alive
+ Good music--high tempo, designed to keep you in the game
+ Controls are tight and responsive--for the most part
+ Almost all levels feel fresh and unique--contains a surprising variety of enemies in a game where they're all discs
+ Progression is easily tracked

- Story feels like an afterthought, told in brief comics with no dialogue
- Most abilities are underutilized or only useful for specific levels
- Your important abilities can feel bad to use at times
- "Mystery" aspect hinted at in the trailer is minimal
- Your success is not always in your hands, especially in the game's hardest levels

This last con about the game's most difficult levels is why I cannot recommend this game for everyone. If you're the kind of gamer who enjoys a short, satisfying experience with a little bit of dabbling in postgame, stop reading this and jump in. You can reach the normal ending in 2-3 hours, and reaching the 20-second/10-second goals can be satisfying--in some levels. But if you're a completionist, you are going to run into some of the most poorly-designed levels I have ever encountered in 25+ years of gaming.

Several levels, including the worst offender, Lobotomy, throw so many enemies at you in such egregious numbers that your path to success is often closed to you. Your skill alone will not get you through these levels--you MUST get lucky. We're not talking "purple coin challenge" hard--I spent almost twice as many hours on two levels than I spent on the rest of the levels, normal and hard, COMBINED. My eventual success on Lobotomy was strictly due to the time capsule placements basically coming up one after another in a row for the entire level--there simply isn't enough space to dash or slowly make your way through without the RNG gods blessing you. Maybe these levels (and all levels in general) would have been easier if the movement from the dash and slow abilities did not hurt you so much when used near walls; your dash ends immediately if you dash into a wall and your slow will get you stuck in a wall until you use the speed-up command or wind up with your guts coating the edge of your enemy. It's pathetic--so pathetic that I considered giving this game a negative recommendation as a whole. I noted that I did not fully complete this game because the last level, a boss rush, comes across the same way, and I'm not going to wait another several hours for my skills to be uplifted by the Disc Room gods.

Had I known what I was getting into going in, I would've put in about 5-7 hours doing most of the other challenges and left these few gross outliers be, winding up satisfied with my overall experience. Unfortunately, these same outliers have soured my time spent and left me pretty frustrated. If you're a completionist, take note: you WILL get pissed off as your fate is taken repeatedly out of your hands. But if you're looking for a fun, twitchy romp for a few hours, pick this up.
Posted October 23, 2020.
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2 people found this review helpful
11.6 hrs on record
You want this game if you:
* Long for more games with the PS1 aesthetic
* Love the weird or obscure
* Want to do more exploring and puzzle-solving than fighting
* Enjoy games in general

Get the first one, too.
Posted August 17, 2019.
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2 people found this review helpful
36.6 hrs on record (35.8 hrs at review time)
Come for the ass, stay for the gameplay, the music, the story, and the ass.
Posted June 28, 2019.
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5 people found this review helpful
4.1 hrs on record (3.3 hrs at review time)
"The Eternal Castle [REMASTERED]" is a surprise treasure to start off 2019. Designing a game to be a tribute to an older era is a hell of a tightrope to walk--a developer risks implementing too much of what we'd rather forget for the sake of "that's what this game is supposed to be like" (similar to last year's "Save me Mr Tako!") in favor of an enjoyable experience. "Castle" is not immune--its jumping controls cause unnecessary grief during otherwise pretty thrilling platforming moments--but the slower input response gives your actions in this 2-bit world more weight, more impact. The environments are unique and tell their own stories through their bright colors and smart contrasts to create scope that most AAA games can't match today. The soundtrack isn't immediately memorable but fits the tone of each scene. "Castle" is short without any drive for collectables, at around 3 hours long, but completionists can wring 5-7 hours out of this gem. Do yourself a favor and pick this game up for a refreshing experience to start your 2019 right, before you end up inevitably disappointed by $60 AAA titled.
Posted January 6, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
54.9 hrs on record (20.0 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
I like this game. The rolling, mid-aid and otherwise, provides some much-needed excitement in the movement in BR games (just build xd). Yeah, it's not the prettiest--there are dev boxes everywhere, the game is a little muddled in its dirt-covered areas, and the game can be a little dark. But if Boss Key ends up pushing forward with this game, they can have a great product by doubling down on the game show theme and continuing to apply polish. Buildings, gun models/types/prices, more "game show" things to do other than having prizes and the few game show elements they do.

Speaking of which, make it so only the people on the prize bike can see the finish. It is way too easy for teams to sit at the finish and blow you away to claim all of your goods and whatnot. You already rode a bike across the map.
Posted April 14, 2018.
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4 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
6.1 hrs on record (6.0 hrs at review time)
♥♥♥♥ YOU
Posted June 2, 2017.
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22 people found this review helpful
8 people found this review funny
8.2 hrs on record (7.5 hrs at review time)
I gifted Hotline Miami to over a dozen of my Steam friends.

I will not be gifting this game to anyone.
Posted March 17, 2015.
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1 person found this review helpful
4.9 hrs on record
This game is not fun unless you hate fun. Then it's pretty fun.
Posted December 22, 2013.
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Showing 1-10 of 10 entries