a gormless tosser? you may know how to gormlessly toss but i can easily kring doink you anti-dinkboinker!!

Your super knowledgy? Your massive mfing ears

amog

Grumpy goober extravagenza.

Welcome. Welcome to City 17.

You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest, most incredible and prestigeous - as folks tell me - remaining urban centers. Believe me, it is true, we are the most outstanding city there is.
I thought so incredibly highly of City 17 that I, despite what some super low energy objectors said, elected to establish my own, and believe me folks it is truly special, i choose on my own -you know i make the best decisions - Administration here, in the Citadel so thoughtfully designed by Our Benefactors and constructed with pure, patriotic, human labor! Yes, we built it. We built the mobile barrier WALL to keep those nasty antlions and illegal vorts out too.

I have been so bigly proud to call City 17 my home. The best home in the country.

And so, whether you are here to stay, or, or if you wish to. if that is on your mind, passing through on your way to parts so majorly unknown, welcome to City 17. It's tremendously safer here.