Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

good man trolled him 3 games in row and still added me will fight and die for this man

Dear Diary, Today I ordered a Big Salad, Large Salsa and Signed the Bill as A. Sperger.


It was so funny, I made all the bois laugh :)

yooooooooooo, it's yah boi Alan Crumpet

How yah doin son?

He left, and I followed. He glided towards an altar - one I had seen many times in the past, and haunted it with an "oooooh!" In a puff of smoke, he reappeared, only to go back to the exact place where he died. I facepalmed, knowing where this was going. He collected his inventory from before, and made for home. Soon enough, darkness fell, and this man, being resourceful, constructed a torch. I observed him carefully after this. What happened next may have been an accident, or the man may have just been an imbecile. He dropped his torch, and proceeded to perish at the hands of a monster in the dark. I laughed grandly, for this ephemeral had given me good entertainment. In my mercy, I conceived a Tell-Tale Heart and revived him. After, I left in a blaze of glory, and it was magnificent.


Yeah, ♥♥♥♥ you man. I went to all that trouble. Don't ever die three times in Don't Starve ever again.

As an omniscient being with unlimited potential, I cannot help but take interest in the affairs of mortals. Despite my omniscience, I can only focus on one point at a time, so as to contain my magnificence. One day, I came across a great sac of webs, and I became curious. I decided to investigate what happened here. Suddenly, a dude with magnificent beard even I, in all my majesty, could envy. He started to slap the webs with his rod, and large, aggravated spiders began crawling out. I watched with fascination as they battled, and saw even a third party join in - a tentacle, spawned from the abhorrent sludge that was this swamp. Soon, the man lay dead, unmoving. A small wisp of smoke escaped his carcass, and assembled into a ghost.