Guaranteed Eternal Sanctuary Man   United Kingdom (Great Britain)
"She had my balls in a vice, but she left the ♥♥♥♥
I guess it's still hooked on but now it shoots too quick"
Hello MTV and welcome to my crib
Lance isn't a very common name nowadays, but in Medieval Times, people were called Lance a lot.

Met a girl at a vegan restaurant. Said she'd recognised me. Strange, never met herbivore.

The wife told me to stop messing with her red wine. Added some fruit and lemonade, and now she's sangria than ever.

Broke up with a girl called Simile. Dunno what I metaphor.

I, for one, like roman numerals.

Got a band called 1023MB. Decent tunes, but still aren't big enough for a gig.

Don't enter a relationship with a fan of tennis. Love means nothing to them.

"The roof is not my son, but I will raise it."
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Doughboy Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:59pm 
Type 3 Diabetes Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:58pm 
How to Get Rid of Smelly Gas:

While flatulence affects all people and is considered a normal part of life, it can be embarrassing to pass gas when it’s accompanied by an unpleasant, smelly odor. If you have frequent, smelly gas, there are ways to get rid of it. Adjust your eating habits to make gas less likely. Stay away from foods that tend to cause smelly gas. If your gas does not go away with home treatment, talk to a doctor about ways to eliminate gas.
Type 3 Diabetes Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:58pm 
Contain your gas until you can pass it discreetly. Everyone produces gas, and some days your gas may be smelly. If you're gassy on a given day, try holding your gas in during moments where it may be embarrassing to pass gas. You can wait for a discreet moment, such as when you're alone in your office, to pass gas. However, do not hold in gas to the point you experience pain. Holding in gas for too long can cause indigestion, bloating, and other medical issues.
Type 3 Diabetes Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:57pm 
Run to the bathroom when you feel gas coming. It is okay to excuse yourself to run to the bathroom, even if it's just to pass gas. If you feel gas coming, quietly excuse yourself and make a trip to the bathroom. You can then pass gas discreetly and return to your day. If possible, opt for a private bathroom so you don't have to pass gas in the presence of others.
Type 3 Diabetes Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:57pm 
Take preventative medications before meals. If you tend to get gassy after meals, take medications designed to reduce gas just before eating. Medications such as Beano and charcoal tablets are taken before a meal to prevent gas afterwards. Refer to the instructions on the bottle before using these medications. Most medications of this kind must be taken before a meal to be effective. Before taking a new medication, check with your doctor to make sure it is okay given your current health and existing medications.
Type 3 Diabetes Sep 20, 2020 @ 5:57pm 
Try medications with simethicone. If you're already experiencing gas, try taking some over-the-counter medications designed to minimize gas. Products that contain simethicone, such as Gas-X, Gelusil, Mylanta, and Mylicon, help break down gas bubbles. While their effectiveness has not been widely studied, some find such products minimize gas.