36
Products
reviewed
457
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Dont be silly Wrap your willy

< 1  2  3  4 >
Showing 1-10 of 36 entries
29 people found this review helpful
98.2 hrs on record (69.5 hrs at review time)
I am not much of a reviewer and only really get around writing reviews for games i have something very strong to say about. More often than not it's something actually negative and most of my reviews are thumbs down.

Now Divinity: Original Sin 2 is going to be an exception. It's simply a phenomenal game in every way imaginable and while i dont have anything new or revolutionary to say about it ( and i basically never write a review if i dont feel like i will say something at least mildly interesting or different ) it's just so good i want to add another positive review to that pile.

Let's be honest. This is not even a review . I just want to leave a thumbs up for this game , lol . If you want to know why it is so good you are going to find plenty of great and in-depth reviews for it.

DIvinity : Original Sin 2 is probably the only game which could charge a 70 , a 80 , even 100$ extra premium price and still be absolutely worth it. There are like at least two amazing games worth of content inside and all you had to pay was measly 60$ for it at launch , even less now.

Just buy it , it's the ultimate no brainer purchase.
Posted December 30, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
24 people found this review helpful
10.7 hrs on record (8.1 hrs at review time)
I could simply tell you that HoB is a great game and you should definitely play it and be done with it but that would be a disservice to the game i'd like to talk about it a little bit more than that.

HoB is adventure and exploration game with some light combat thrown into the mix. While combat is definitely weakest part of the game it is used sparingly throughout the game so i never becomes boring and bothersome . You have your light attack,heavy attack,block and dodge. Enemy variety is on a low side but again , it never gets old or boring because of how few combat encounters there are.

Main drive of the game is exploration and that's where HoBs magic is at . Game lacks any kind of conventional story telling, there's no spoken or written text or exposition but your character basically is woken up by a mechanical golem and tasked to reactivate and cleanse this half organical half construct city which is corrupted by some kind of 'evil' . You do that by solving various puzzles and slowly but surely waking up the city and getting rid of the purple corruption.

One would be forgiven for thinking that is a puzzle game but i would disagree . While your main mean of progressing throu the game is solving puzzles they are simple and pleasant enough to go through so you rarely get stuck and lost and this makes you feel this 'momentum' . You are always going forward , discovering new places and watching world get awaken. And this is there HoB nailed what it was going forward imho. You never get stuck on a over complicated long or boring puzzle and lose all intereset in what you there doing , it's constant excitement , wonder and feel of grand adventure and it's just a loveliest of times.

Visuals are stunning and you are always shown there you are going to go next , somewhat reminding me of what Dark Souls did where everything you can see is a playable zone you can reach . Music while simplistic and low key accompanies gameplay and visuals beautifully and is like a right amount of pepper and salt in a dish .

There are few technical issues some people do experience but for me game largely ran fine. Few frame dips here and there but game m ran at 144 fps most of the time . Admittedly it tasks system quite high keeping in mind that it doesnt go for crazy life like graphics so that is something to keep in mind.

Overally HoB is a magical time and if i would give games numerical scores it would be a high number.
Posted October 17, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
2 people found this review helpful
2
30.2 hrs on record (22.8 hrs at review time)
You can read original review which was thumbs up below.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok game , you really pissed me off now. 30 hours of progress ( i was pretty much at the end by now ) lost because save file got corrupted and devs are daft enough to make backup save files save at very same second as main save files. There's also only a single save file so yeah. I'm done with this game . What a royal mess.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It is time for another review and this time around i will try to say something marginally interesting and useful about Vampyr.
Great intro,right?

TO THE POINT.

To begin i must say that i'm a huge sucker for whole Gloomy Victorian London aesthetic in games ( Bloodborne , my precious! ) so i'm willing to forgive few mishaps this game has in my final verdict ... but not all of them so lets talk about the BADS first.

The biggest gripe i have with this game is its performance. PC gaming can be fiddly thing , i know , but when you have a system which is double or triple the specs of what this game requires yet you still experience various technical hiccups it can be really detrimental to the experience. I've spent three days trying to solve this seemingly random and unbelievably anoying stuttering issue without any luck. It just does that and there's no fix. I jam with 1200$ system and i get stuttering in game which looks like it is from 2015 or something , lol.

Lols will lol but there are also plenty of issues with how developers decided to lock playesr into playing their game THE WAY THEY WANTED TO. Game forces terrible film grain effect,absurd chromatic abberations ( which makes in-game world look like it is covered in doughnut glaze ) and 60 fps lock onto player .. presumably to keep their 'cinematic' experience or something. Cure for all of this is hidden within editing appropriate .ini files though.

By now you are probably wondering how did i misclick that thumbs down button for thumbs up , but be patient, i have one last thing to QQ about and i'm going to move to good stuff.

Another thing which also doesnt really fly with me is combat. Let's be honest , it is bare bones.There are only handful of different enemy types and they are recycled through out whole experience , it gets very terious , believe me. Early in game you dont get to fight too often, mostly talking with NPCs, and it didint bother me too much but as game's story progress and '♥♥♥♥ hits the fan' story wise you will encouter more and more enemies and it does get tedious to the point there i just skipped most of the encounters.

I went directly to 'Hard' difficult and that is what i suggest for everyone else to do because even on ' Hard ' this game is not what i would call 'challenging'. Is it a bad thing? No. It lets you to tackle way higher level enemies without having to grind for levels and i kind of appreciate that. If you have skills you can be very underleveled and still come through on top.

With all the ♥♥♥♥ out of the way i can finally tell you that despite all the things this title does bad it does more right. I'm not a big fan of whole 'vampire' thing but Dr.Jonathan Reid is a compelling protagonist. Story is well written and paced well , after all it is main thing which kept me going through the game .I was truly invested in Reid's story , in fates and troubles of various NPC characters you get to take care of and down the line decide if you are going to spare or consume them and in underlying mistery surrounding the bizzare epidemic ravaging London.

If you decide to play this game you probably will play it for setting,story and characters. Not gameplay. There are some marginally interesting ingame mechanics like keeping NPCs healthy and solving their issues to increase quality of their blood if you decide to consume them for experience. It is okey mechanic which is less of a focus than developers werehoping i guess, at least for me. I killed few of them for some levels since it is quickest and easiest way to level up your skills but i assume you could finish this game on easier combat difficulties without killing a single NPC.

All in all i do enjoy this game despite its flaws. Good aesthetic,good music,good writting... well made things just shines through some worse stuff and while better combat system and performance fix would elevate this game to a different level this is also a rare example of mid-budget double A game . We need more of those!
Posted August 16, 2020. Last edited August 22, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
21 people found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
2.0 hrs on record
Rogue Wizards is perfect example of how missleading user defined tags and screenshots can be. This is going to be less of a review and more a rant really.

Is it turnbased? Yes it is, but not in a way one would think. Is it roguelike? It is , just in worst way possible . Is it RPG ? Not really but that can be up for debate.. So it is mostly everything it says it is plus a nice cute artstyle so what's the problem here?.. IT'S A MOBILE GAME. Oh my.

And that fact is nowhere to be found unless you start playing game and notice these wierd little things like opening daily chests and everything being obivously made for a touch screen. So now we are moving to that 'misleading' territory . Okey , so it is mobile game ported to PC , what's the big deal?

The Big Deal is that it still plays like a mobile game and now i can finally dish out my main complaint with it . That turn-based combat is a most dreadful thing ever. It is hard to explain why it doesnt work but i'll try . In the very beggining you face one or two simple skeletons, they just move towards ya and attack , you do the same. Both sides take sort of 'turns' but they are just delays so instead of making your turn and pushing 'end turn' you do your move and wait for enemy mobs to do theirs. It almost works with one or two simple mobs on sreen. Later in game you start facing groups of tens and they start to get all sorts of abilities and that is a nail in the coffin for this game. It is entirely possible to be clicking your mouse for a two minutes and not be able to perform a single action because you will get knocked,frozen in place,stunned etc etc.

I honestly almost broke my mouse out of rage trying to do ANYTHING in this game. It reminds me of Book of Demons there whole game consists of you trying to get free of enemy stuns or freezes.

To play this is just the most awful experience one can have in front of PC screen. It's a mobile game and while it looks nice it plays like total crap and that , even for stealthily ported mobile game is not ok.

Posted July 26, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
500 people found this review helpful
29 people found this review funny
18
10
9
3
3
9.7 hrs on record (5.2 hrs at review time)
Oh boy i guess this review is not going to win me any new friends but i dont think that Hellblade : Senua's Sacrifice is a good game.... Here i said it.

If you are still here and didint leave your home with axe in your hands to look for me let me explain why do i think so.

First of all credit where credit is due. I wouldnt dream of taking away from this game what it does right . Presentation in this title is just top notch . Everything from visual style to music and everything in between is a solid 10. Vistas are hauntingly beautiful and whispers send chills down your spine.

It's also clear that devs did their due diligence towards subject of schizophrenia and mental illness in general. I'm no expert but it sure feels heartfelt and genuine. But that's where one is forced to draw a line and talk about GAME part of this game.

And the game part is ... dull. I'm sorry it really is. You are stuck with single type of puzzle which for the most part is more annoying than it is actually challening or engaging. Yes i guess it's fun for first few sections to look around the environment for certain shapes but after 10th one i'm left with a wish for a skip button because it adds nothing to experience besides wasting your time.

Same can be said about combat. Dodge, attack,attack and repeat until all foes are dead . It's as shallow as a puddle of water and without any elements from RPG or Action games it doesnt get any better and again is there just to waste your time and you are left wanting a skip button to move on.

Hmm , you want to skip puzzles and you want to skip combat so you could move on through story ... so i'm left with a question why is this a game even? Obviously there's basically no game here, just a story , which is great and deep and i cant praise it enough , but that's it. It's a great story but not a great game. This could have been a movie or novela or maybe a comic book.

Believe me , i feel bad about not liking this as much as everyone else does . I had highest of hopes for this game as i'm a huge fan of Norse mythology and everyone was talking how amazing this is going to be and ... i dont know, it's just not. As a game , something you take your controller or keyboard with mouse and just PLAY this is boring.

Phew ...
Posted June 14, 2020. Last edited June 14, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
34 people found this review helpful
7.5 hrs on record
Project Warlock is what you remember FPS games were in early 90's while actually being pretty meticulously crafted to include a lot of modern conveniences while fixing bunch of issues those old games had.

Don't burn me on a stake please, but most of old games from our childhoods weren't that great. We remember them being amazing because of limited selection we had back then, video games still being a pretty new thing for a mainstream audiences .They had to work around limitations of software and hardware but we simply had great time as a kids playing those games , having our memories warped by nostalgia . Project Warlock sets out to do the tricky task of making retro game we remember playing back in early 90's.

I think they successed. This game feels amazing to play. Butter smooth controls will not let you down , as long as you can keep up with what's going on screen . Visuals as retro as they are are crisp and pleasant to look at even in 2020 and this game sounds GREAT. OST is a worthy thing of it's own and i would listen to it outside of game . It features great variety of maps, enemies and especially weapons and powers. While some of guns becomes bit redundant at later stages most of them are fun to use and are impactful combat tools.

That said game also has a few flaws. Most notably inconsistent difficulty and very weak boss fights. First three episodes ( out of 5 episodes in game ) are really easy and if you want any challenge at all you will want to go for hardest 'Hardcore' difficulty to get any resistance at all. Fourth chapter ramps up difficulty significantly seemingly out of blue and it's episode you will burn most of your lifes at . Fifth and last episode i think is balanced best in terms of challenge it provides.

Another obvious flaw are bosses. Most of them can be killed in less than a minute and requires no strategy beyond strafing and firing your most powerful weapon. Also for some reason first boss is the hardest one IMHO and almost made me quit playing the game all together. Last boss is just a mesh up of previous bosses and while taking quite a long time to kill also posses almost no real threat.

All that said i still can say that Project Warlock is a great throwback FPS game and i can definitely recommend it to anyone looking to scratch that itch of early 90's FPS games.
Posted May 24, 2020. Last edited May 25, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
22 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
2.9 hrs on record (2.8 hrs at review time)
Darkest Dungeon this is definitely not.

Now, everything was pointing at me liking this game. It has superb theme , i'm a huge fan of space horror , sort of lovecraftian type with dead space ships and long gone civilizations full of unimaginable horrors so that alone drawn my attention to this game. Adding to that it has turn based 'line' combat and is pretty much very similar to what Darkest Dungeon did and i just love Darkest Dungeon.

BUT

This game doesnt really work for me or is all that fun. First of all it's very repetitive and while that's expected in this type of game... it's VERY repetitive. It also is so inconsistent with it's own difficulty that your whole squad can get wiped by a single stack of seriously unbalanced enemies (which have no place in your current run considering the difficulty of the rest enemy lineup ) after which you are pretty much forced to scrape around for 30 minutes for banana peels just to get some credits to revive your party and heal them up to even have a chance of getting back there you failed and thiis one thing really sinks this game.

It has few interesting things happening here and there but tbh i'm really dissapointed and cant in my good conscience recommend it.
Posted May 10, 2020. Last edited May 10, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
37 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
25.0 hrs on record (20.2 hrs at review time)
You know that feeling when you have thousands of words in your head to describe something but you also find it impossible to describe it in written or spoken form? It's like that for me with Prey. Though one sentence i can easily formulate and stand behind - PREY IS EXEPCIONALLY GOOD.

So. Prey... is a game. A very good game which obviously draws most of it's inspirations from System Shock and Bioshock and if you have played or know about any of those games you can pretty much know what awaits you here and while i have played and absolutely love both System Shock and Bioshock i think Prey is my new favorite from these three.

It's something about atmosphere really. While this is not a horror game , at least i do not perceive it that way, it has this eery feeling throughout whole game ( this only applies if you choose to play on Hard or higher difficulty levels which i strongly urge you to do , it's a whole different game like that ) where you really feel like a PREY . If you want to survive you will have learn to effectively hide,scavenge ( i hate forced scavenging in video games but here it somehow adds to whole experience and feels integral part of it ) and weight your options every step of the way.

Admittedly game gets easier and less suspenseful later on like most harder games does ( i'm at that point now ) but i'm so invested in it's story and setting i just dont care and want to carry on. Prey is right kind of hard , you always have several options while level and map design is designed in such a specific way that even though i know this feeling is false, once you find a way to pass difficult enemy without engaging it you feel like you created your own unique way of doing so which noone else have thought of. You feel like an artist of sorts really.

Icing on a cake for me is side quests though i dont think that's an accurate name of them. If you imagine main story line as a centre branch of a tree those side stories are it's smaller branches. Every single one of them feels connected to the main story and in some cases to each other and at time they lead to one another in very unexpected and creative ways. Last time i was so interested in optional quests was in Witcher 3 and we all know how strong world building in that game was .

I just wholeheartedly recommend this game for everyone and i recommend to play it on hard and to struggle , it really makes you feel like you are isolated on a space station there you are the main dish on a menu.

Posted March 7, 2020.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
64 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
25.3 hrs on record (12.3 hrs at review time)
One thing i would like to note at the beggining is that i got this game for roughly 5 $ from Humble Choise so for that price this would be a great purchase BUT it's retail price is 60$ so i will judge it for that price.
And for 60$ it's terrible. Full of bugs, minor inconveniences , mind boggling design choises etc etc. I had to roll back to gpu driver from 2018 to be able to play this game in DX12.

This time around there is less focus on combat and more on exploration which would be nice if exploration wouldnt be so boring and uninspired. You have these seemingly open areas but you can find two identical ledges and Lara would jump on to one without any problems and just refuse to grab on another one because it's not programmed to be used and that's main problem with this game , it's linear in the worst way. Not because you follow a story or a straight path but because there is only just one way to get somewhere . Sometimes Lara will fall from 20 meters and be all right because you fell down in the right pleace and other times she will slip and fall onto the ledge 2 meters below and die because that wasnt programmed for her to land and it breaks immersion so much. This game is terrible at making you feel like you are on the adventure.. you feel like you are in the theme park sitting in a cart and going through it.

As is mandatory in modern AAA game it has crafting and collectibles. These two , again , are made in ridiculous ways. Crafting is basically useless because it's mostly for weapons and armor and with little to no combat there's basically no need for them so you can beat whole game with starter bow on hardest combat difficulty . I havent used my upgraded rifles or pistols in 12 hours so far so total waste of time and with abundancy of materials you just upgrade everything without really having to think and choose there to invest your resources.

Collectibles again are lazy and just mostly drop'd onto your usual path. They also make no sense in game world as well because you find 10 priceless treasures every 100 meters, sometimes in people's homes so you just bardge in , take their golden statue and leave without them even caring you did that.

Also everyone in Peru speaks perfect English, even natives living in secluded villages.

Shadow of the Tomb Raider just tries to tick all boxes for triple A game in 2019 and fails at every step. For 5 $ ? Yes , get it but for anything more than that it's a waste of money and time.

Besides interesting and well made locals this game has nothing over it's predecessors and is easily worst of the Tomb Raider games to date.
Posted December 22, 2019. Last edited December 22, 2019.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
87 people found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
80.9 hrs on record (76.5 hrs at review time)
Kingdom Come : Deliverance can only be described as a 'Diamond in a rough' . When this game works ( and by works i dont mean just technically but as a whole ) it just works and is in my opinion deepest RPG experience of the past few years and likely whole decade.

Main cons of this game are purely technical and related to the engine it's using. It has a lot of optimization troubles and what seems to be leftover junk code so you will need beast of a PC to run this on any reasonable settings , that said this game can look beyond gorgeous at times and that's not just purely from the graphical perspective but also how realistic and well thought out whole GAME MAP is . You really feel like you are there and if you live or lived geographically similar part of planet you can really appreciate how lifelike everything is.

While you are playing predetermined character , Henry , this game has so many deep and intriguing systems you can roleplay to your liking.There are many perks which besides having upside has a down side as well so at the end of the game you have really unique character shaped by all those systems,perks and other interesting stuff in this game.

I'm not going to delve into the story , while nothing spectacular it's very well written and paced and keeping in mind this game is mostly historically accurate story is grounded in real history which for someone who is interested in such times makes it almost a history lesson.

As much as this game made me furious at times and as many hours of game i had to replay because of bugs,glitches or simply terrible saving system i cant recommend it enough for everyone who looks for actual RPG game , not something like recent Assassins Creeds or other action games with RPG elements. This is a true, uncompromised Role Playing experience which takes particular player to be appreciated by and if you can overcome it's mostly technical flaws it will reward you with uncontested caliber experience.
Posted December 4, 2019. Last edited December 4, 2019.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
< 1  2  3  4 >
Showing 1-10 of 36 entries