4 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1.3 hrs on record
Posted: Dec 29, 2015 @ 8:16am
Updated: Dec 29, 2015 @ 9:54am
Product refunded

Early Access Review
Party wiped on the tutorial level...

The idea is to explore randomly generated dungeons for: gold; jewels; food; anti-venom. Sometimes you find loot in cloth sacks and sarcophagi ( or lose a few hit points from poison gas ). Sometimes the party loses health because the room in the dungeon is too cold ( LOL what? Bring warmer underwear son ).

In one particular room, I was given a riddle. I placed a torch on an altar, which accidentally summoned a beast from hell, that banished everyone in the room to The Twilight Zone.


The purple beast had 5 million hit points and summoned 2 allies ( I had no hope to kill him because my DPS was so low and his resistances were so high... but when he vomitted up his two purple henchmen... ). I tried fleeing ( I think that the monster blocked this, since it looked like we were locked in an alternate dimension ). In Dungeons and Dragons terms, it was like having to fight a Beholder using level zero characters. This guy wasn't even the end-boss, which is hilarious...

My party was creamed. I lost all of my gold and equipment, to the point that when I made a second party, all I could afford was three torches ( LOL - no food, no shovels to clear rubble, no bandages to prevent bleeding out, no anti-venom, no potions of protection, no Fleshlight - for comfort... hey don't judge me ).

I was a bit confused about how to hand-pick my party from the roster of heroes ( I wasn't able to figure out how to find the room with the 12 heroes ).

For my second party, I was stuck with two heroes that liked the same position; so one guy wouldn't fight at all. When your party is ambushed, it seems like their positions become completely randomized ( only certain characters can hit certain enemies, with specific skills ). So I was stuck with the choice of whether to DPS or shuffle characters. This game is DPS or die! My strongest hero liked position 1 and could hit the first three enemies with a 2-handed polearm. My archer-sniper at the back was the first to croak ( the game knows how to demolish your party by murdering the strongest party members ).

Half of the party died and I fled the quest, without finishing it.

One thing that really bothered me about this game is the lack of descriptions for spells and skills. You kind of learn what the skills do by using them, which is a sh** way to learn this game, considering you get DPSed up the a**

I applied to Steam for a refund after an hour of playing. This game appeals to masochists - the ones that like being tied up and whipped in the darkest dungeons.

The art direction is great but it says a lot that the trailer focuses more on that, than the sh***y combat mechanics.

You can turn off corpses and other ludicrous game-design choices in the options section.

P.S. That nun's blinding torch ( enhance light ) skill is 100% useless and never worked at all.

P.P.S Bring vaseline.

Attack of the purple beast ( LOL ):


Jaws trailer:

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