The Assailant #RIPTF2
I'm about to overload my aggression inhibitors.
U Wot M8?

For-profit TF2 traders can fuck right the fuck off.
Completely done with your shit.

Current Impersonator Count: 3

Officially reached the point where I can no longer accept random (or not so random) adds. Managing my Steam friends list is a shitty non-paying job I never wanted. I can barely keep track of the regulars on my server, people I trade with and the ones I actually know. I am seeking fewer headaches, not more.

Photographer, DJ, cranky old man. I prefer to communicate with people who can type in complete sentences and use punctuation. I help run a :monu_mic: group of TF2 servers. [] :microphone: Come join us if you're not a cretin. RIP MicS, press F to pay respects.

I sometimes trade TF2 items, but I'm seldom interested in random offers. WRT my inventory, if it's not listed on the Outpost, it's not for sale. LOL RIP OUTPOST ...I have tagged most of my items on

If you're adding me to trade, state specifically what items you're interested and what you have to offer in a profile comment below. If you have a private profile, I will block you immediately. If you fail to add a comment to my profile, it's almost assured that I will ignore your request.

Trade offers go here:

Radio Show archive. []
YouTube channel (gaming). page. []
Link to my photography page removed due to excess stalking.
Currently Offline
Last Online 16 hrs, 58 mins ago
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Probably my record for number of doms at once as soldier.
6 2
Items Up For Trade
Items Owned
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None of these items are actually for trade. Check out my profile.
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Microphone Snobs TF2 - Public Group
Microphone Snobs
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Perfect Games
Avg. Game Completion Rate
Artwork Showcase
A Squeaker Runs Through it movie poster.
14 1
Review Showcase
11,868 Hours played
The premier Online Hat Simulator, 2007 Edition. If you are reading this and have never played this game, please don't start now. TF2 is a pyramid scheme with a fat guy on top. It has fantastic art style which has both aged gracefully and been completely ruined by endless idiotic cosmetics. It has a sputtering mess of an engine that can barely keep up with all the features and functions stuffed into it over the last decade. It has a dedicated and long suffering player base that have grown accustomed to accepting the table scraps Valve offers (now at a rate of barely once a year.)

TF2 is as much a social platform as it is a video game. It's an first person dress up chatroom where users attempt to extract profit from virtual hats and other cosmetics. There's also an FPS minigame which I hear is occasionally populated.

Unfortunately, with the Meet Your Match update in the summer of 2016, Valve removed the QuickPlay function from TF2, killing off all community servers not named Skial. Now the landscape consists of 24/7 2Fort, Harvest, Hightower and Turbine. It's more or less impossible to keep a community server populated for any length of time without running one of those maps.

With MyM Valve did introduce an official competitive mode, which is both stillborn and a haven for hackers. The casual mode they released at the same time is the opposite of what it seeks to be. It's more difficult to join a game, much harder to find a specific map (especially if it's not one of the maps mentioned above) and the entire process takes far longer because of a mandatory 60 second pre-round and forced map reload at the end of game. Player churn is huge in casual mode, and for good reason.

TF2 still has huge balance issues. Sniper, a poor fit for the game in 2007, is insanely un-fun to fight against 11 years later. There are completely legit snipers that are harder to deal with than hackers. The class needs a fundamental rework to remove the "insta-kill all classes from any range" mechanic. Scout is right behind, becoming almost unfair to fight against at the highest skill levels. Since 2016, Medic runs at Scout speed with any medi-gun, making Scout completely dominant in 6s competitive. Heavy, the only tank class, remains a butterball, nerfed into oblivion. Core game changes (global faster weapon switch speeds, spy movement speed increase, etc.) all make him easier to kill but don't benefit him at all. Since 2014, Heavy's minigun starts at 50% of its base damage. Spy is both UP and OP at the same time. Baguette now runs at Medic speed, and faster than Scout when he pops the Dead Ringer. Valve nerfed the Ambassador into the dirt (it needed a nerf for years, but in classic fashion, Valve overdid it by a factor of 2). They have left the Diamondback (lets a class that can cloak and disguise store critical hits) untouched.

As of this writing, the big 3 TF2 cheats (the "L" word, the "N" word, and the "C" word) are all undetected. Hackers are rampant in Valve's competitive and casual modes, and there's plenty on the few populated community servers as well. The hasn't been a major VAC ban wave in TF2 for all of 2018.

All of this would be problematic but possibly understandable if Valve were a small company keeping their game alive. The company is worth nearly 20 BILLION dollars at this point. Half of that is in Gaben's back pocket. There's like 5 dudes who work on TF2 (Valve has claimed "up to 16" at one point) and while I am sure they are working hard, they're very understaffed.

Valve's "flat" structure was a dumb idea 20 years ago, but the company did manage to produce many gems for their first decade. For the last 10 years, the company has grown hugely and made so much money they don't even know what it means to give a ♥♥♥♥. The company's internal structure actively works to the detriment of the customers.

If you're still reading and you've actually played this game, you know what I'm talking about. I'll see you on Doublecross later this evening.
Custom Insult Box
Does your backpack contain more unusuals for sale than stranges you actually use? Do you view TF2 only as a source of profit? Do not add me or otherwise pester me unless your day is lacking in verbal abuse. If you have something I want, you'll know. Otherwise I offer only scorn and derision. :jarate:
Shade_of_KinG 14 hours ago 
Lol it doesn't matter what I have one stupid report from the scammer who already has been banned on steamtrades.
The Assailant #RIPTF2 16 hours ago 
Ewari has been a friend of mine for years, and you're some unknown who already has a report on SteamRep: In the words of the TF2 Soldier, "Checkmate, Stalingrad!" :jarate:
Shade_of_KinG Dec 14 @ 5:12pm 
Omg you answered him but ignored me. Very nice communication and education. I don't like people like you, you are introvert or just hate russians. Anyway, stupid and bad manners. Bad person. :rep1:
The Assailant #RIPTF2 Dec 14 @ 4:16pm 
To answer Ewari's question, I'm currently ignoring 19 invites ...and that's after I blocked 3 marked scammers this past week. :cfacepalm:
✨Ewari 💖≈ Dec 14 @ 9:18am 
how many would be traders and scammers do you scorn in a week? I find it hilarious they never read your Custom box, Profile description or backpack tags.
AforNson Dec 5 @ 3:14am 
sir added to discuss sth!