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The latter part, not the former.
For servers where you can actually choose them there is no point
As for bandwidth, you should look for a VPN with, well, higher bandwidth, and use Wireguard instead of OpenVPN. Avoid free VPNs. (Don't get me wrong, you don't need a VPN for gaming at all. Not the model/kind that just routes traffic, that is.)
Still, point 1 - your ping can't improve beyond your own Internet connection. You can improve both the latency and bandwidth (in some cases) by using ethernet instead of Wi-Fi if you're using it. The rest depends on your Internet plan, fiber availability, etc.
Don't worry, you were on point.
the question was if i could get better ingame ping using a vpn, because my friends are in russia and i live in america, because ping changes depending on server. i just want to be able to play with them without god awful server lag
All of that stuff slows down your connection, which is what ping is all about.
You're not going to get faster speed from asking a server to perform extra steps for you - however, you might be able to find a server that throttles connections so that the faster players are brought down to the speed of the slower players. *lol*
Convince them to connect to a server hosted in America then, instead of you connecting to one hosted in Russia. Simplest improvement.
Don't Starve Together, Board Game Online, turn-based strategy (I don't know of any that are multiplayer other than Ultimate Tic Tac Toe but...) basically anything turn-based or where you don't have to constantly have fast reaction times to survive - where it's not common for someone to be able to snipe you.
...or just play on an American server & let them deal with the latency issues instead of you. :P