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SodaPopHT Feb 14, 2016 @ 9:55pm
News about the Spiteful, this will possibly be the last update (I'm sorry).
Have you ever had one of those times in your life when a lot of people were waiting for you to get something done for them? Where you kinda wanted to do it, but also kinda didn't because you figured nobody would want it anyhow, but then it gathered a ♥♥♥♥-ton of attention?
Where you were making it with a lot of close friends in mind? And that people REALLY didn't want you to screw it up?

I'm talking about my most popular and sought out project, LISA the Spiteful.
A fangame, spin-off... thing, based around the artstyle and structure of Dingaling's (absolutely amazing) LISA trilogy. It had more hype than it did sprites! And the new and original music that was being composed by Taitoki was also absolutely amazing. There's a lot of ground to cover, about the game. But, I think maybe I should say something, or a few things.

I am a very Spiteful person sometimes, but not by choice. I hurt people on impulse.
I'll let you come up with a personal image of me in your head and judge me from there.
If you're someone that knows me, and knows what I'm like, then that shouldn't be hard to do.
I have a very cartoonish look I give myself when thinking about me, because I don't like how I actually look.

That aside, I am going to say this... I'm stuck. I really am. It's my fault too, I'll say that much.

A lot of people know me by now, some of them like me as a person, others have felt my unintentional wrath. A lot of people have come up with their absolute opinions on me, positive and negative, and that's something I cherish, in a way.
Because it means now that I know I can affect people, although I never really ever intend to. But that's life.

So, maybe you do know me. Maybe you think it's the real me, and maybe it is. I've never vented openly to any crowds, if anyone does read this.
I've got a lot of personal issues, and who the hell knows what's wrong with my brain, I can't figure that out myself. I'm not normally upset, and I am right now. But writing is helping me with the bad bits in my day today. My laptop, which has the Spiteful on it, messed up during a Skype chat today. So, I left it alone, took a nap, and later on had a nice dinner with some of my distant family members for Valentine's day.
I am currently using a decent desktop to set up everything for... well, I'll explain that soon.

I regret to inform everyone, that Taitoki no longer wishes to be affiliated with me, or the LISA fangame. (And I don't blame her for that.)
I'm a very Spiteful person. Again, I never intend to be, but I'm sure this sudden event will be a hardened reminder of what happens when I do wrong.
I can never figure out how to explain mysef, and I'm sure the unaware are wondering why this is. I will not be explaining it. If she wishes to, then... eh.
Burying the hatchet so soon is probably going to feel like pouring salt into a wound, but whatever. I gotta get this done, for my own sake.

I am sad about this, but I won't let it stop me from working on my game projects. I'll just have to move on and find someone else, if I can.
Taitoki, if you're reading this, I did think about messaging you, but I don't think I should.

Since you no longer want me around, I'll leave you with this:
Thank you for the music, it's still wonderful to listen to and hear. It helped me pumble through those early spritesheets at lightning speeds. I wish you the best of luck
with any of your own projects and I hope you continue making music and whatever else. You're an amazing person, and I'm sorry I was a horrible friend.
I sincerely apologize. Goodluck in life, maybe someday I'll change and won't cause a repeat of this kind of event. Who knows... you might forgive me after a long time.
Probably not, but I can still hope for good things.

But I can't change how I was because of my nature and whatever piles onto that... and my actions too. As for if LISA the Spiteful is cancelled, well... I'm not sure yet. A lot of bad went down today while I was gone for a bit. Not just with Taitoki, but with a ton of people and my aforementioned laptop. The one with all of the Spiteful's files and folders and so on.

I'm on a desktop, that I barely ever use and... well, I had to re-setup an internet connection and get back a lot of my engines and programs. I will be trying to fix the laptop, but with today's stream of bad situations, I think maybe I should just start from scratch or give up.
I was going to ask, since I'm posting this on the Steam forums and, maybe somewhere else... should I really make this pile of garbage? People want is so bad, but I don't feel that I'm not the man (or, whatever the hell I am) for this anymore. Hell, I don't know if I should make anything. I still will, because making stuff is just what I do, drawings and so fourth. But I'm not talented enough to even attempt to make music, and my art is garbage in my eyes. There's a lot wrong with me, but I'm still gonna try. For some reason, I want to make games.
And damn it, I want to make money, and I want... well, a lot of things. Maybe nothing I should say here in public, or private either, really.

But one thing I want to do is make everyone I can happy, and with all of these sprite submissions on support for this one little fangame...
I dunno know if it even could live up to the hype, much less the LISA series. So, do you want it? Do you REALLY want it. If you do, I will make it.
I will make it and it will be something everyone can have, and it could be alright. It won't be the same without Taitoki's soundtrack, or any real reason
to commit to it other than the (wonderful, all of you) fans of this potential idea of a game. Honestly, you might as well just wait for Ninja Tears.

I don't really want to do this anymore, the stress and behind the scenes ♥♥♥♥ is so messy... I'm a mess too. People can say whatever they want about me, but I don't like me either.
Them saying things didn't make me want to cancel this project, a lot of other life events did though. But some good has come out of this, when I think about it. I made a ton of friends, and people believe in me enough to be curious about what I want to make.

I don't wanna use Taitoki's tracks without her permission, and without them, I just feel the game will lack that spice it needed to even be worth looking at.
And yes, I know a ton of people submitted tracks to me and wanted me to use them. And they were good but... eh. If you didn't want me to make it in the first place, or know what I'm like, or think a fangame isn't a good idea; please tell me that if it's what you feel like.
I won't stop making games, I want to make SOMETHING people will want to play.
But not if I ruin any chances of makign soemthing great.

Creatitiy is haulted when I'm around. I have these emotions deep down that not only ruin my artworks, but other's too. I am possible, the worst form of what I never expected becoming as a child. But ya know what, none of this will matter after a long period of silence.

I break more promises than I can make. But you've all been kind to me, and I respect every single one of you for trying to be a part of something neat.
And to think, I originally started the Spiteful off as just something to test my programming """skills""". It's crazy how the words "LISA fangame" can affect a lot of a small idea.
It was at first, just me messing around with the sprites and moving little Melvin around and using doors and I never expected people to want me to make it into a real thing.

Anyhow, I think I'll leave it at that. Maybe people will forgive me for doing bad, maybe they won't. You, the fans, deserve far better than me.
I'd like to take this as a personal life lesson, but it's more of a cluster of worry and... maddening inner stuff I need to seek out help for.
If you were excite for the Spiteful, well, I'm sorry. From the deepest part of whatever I have in place of a heart.
As I said, I plan on making games, but a side of me isn't so sure about getting people involved unless they're pre-established friends or don't mind my (coping) tendencies.
Or, just really okay with me for the mistakes I make and do constaintly. Man, growing up is terrible. If I were younger, the Spiteful would've been done by a compotent person.

I think Taitoki put it better than I could;
"in my opinion
LISA the Spiteful is canceled
unless he finds someone else to make music for him
in that case to that person
good ♥♥♥♥ing luck"

Except, I don't think just replacing her music will fix the chances by much. It's still pretty much over, unless a miricle or unless a sudden burst of self-esteem happens.
If she wants to tell people what I'm like, then I won't stop her. But she seems to want to keep it private, I respect her for that. I respect her for a lot.
She didn't say anything to me, no goodbye or anything. People never really like talking to me, not with how I am. I don't blame them, honestly.

Hopefully people won't carve me up (verbally) for what I've been like these past few months. But at this point, I don't know what to do or say about that.
Leaving well enough alone is my only option, as of now and probably forever.

I don't want people to feel bad for me, but I never expected all of this without being told about how I was making her feel. I wish more people would tell me when I upset them.
But, I do feel I need to tell people, and vent. Like I always do.
I hope she forgives me, even if she doesn't want to speak with me.
The same goes for anyone else I upset, for any reason or reasons.

I didn't even think something like this would happen. I mean, I guess I figured it would be brought up... but now I just want to assure people about what might be happening.

Life can be savage, but so was I, it seems. Forgive me if you can, I should stop trying to care about what people think about me or this stupid project, but I can't be that mean. I just can't. Please let me know what/how this passage made you feel and what you think should happen and what I should do next.

I thought about giving away my custom art I made for the Spiteful and continuing to experiment with LISA's artstyle for other people's fangames.
And even though in the future, I'd love to share any code I make, I will not be giving out the Spiteful's source code, as I can salvage it for another potentail game.
And maybe Melvin will be in something else. Who knows. You all made this attempt fun and exciting. I want to thank Lenny, Taitoki, Ken, Boxcar, Dingaling,
and YOU (yeah, you) for any support or at least passing "hey, goodluck on the Spiteful" over these past few months. And who knows what the future will hold...?

I will be keeping the trailers up on YT, as a point of reference while I work on my next video. I don't have the original files with me, as stated before.
I'm not exactly confirming the Spiteful still has a heartbeat, but all I can say is, I'm sorry everyone. It COULD come back, but really with how things went down hill today... It may be best for everyone to get excited over something far more worthwhile.
I'll still be talking to everyone I can and have met from this experience if they wish to stick around and discuss other things related to the project.

I wrote all of this out in notepad, and I wanted to get it off of my chest and not let those who might be curious stay in the dark about anything.
Goodbye for now, auf wiedersehen. - Hunter (SodaPopHT, Iswallowmoths, Cunter; address me however you feel like at this point, nameless.)
Last edited by SodaPopHT; Feb 14, 2016 @ 9:57pm
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Showing 1-15 of 98 comments
kitty cat Feb 15, 2016 @ 4:45am 
cool
nobody cares
NovelDog Feb 15, 2016 @ 4:50am 
...Wow. Just...Wow. I'm amazed that you've put on effort to say it and not hide it like a Liar.
ian Feb 15, 2016 @ 5:35am 
Have you ever had one of those times in your life when a lot of people were waiting for you to get something done for them? Where you kinda wanted to do it, but also kinda didn't because you figured nobody would want it anyhow, but then it gathered a ♥♥♥♥-ton of attention?
Where you were making it with a lot of close friends in mind? And that people REALLY didn't want you to screw it up?

that's my webcomic expect for the part about the attention friends and scewing it up
SodaPopHT Feb 15, 2016 @ 5:57am 
Originally posted by Melting needs more porn:
cool
nobody cares

That's a relief.


Originally posted by RobotDog:
...Wow. Just...Wow. I'm amazed that you've put on effort to say it and not hide it like a Liar.

I might be a terrible person sometimes, but I can't stand lying.
That's not to say that I never lie, but I normally choose to tell whatever truth I can.
And for some strange reason, people really wanted me to make the Spiteful,
and it was nice to see people happy and excited for something that I didn't even think was gonna happen anyhow.


Originally posted by ianj malicious group smasher:

that's my webcomic expect for the part about the attention friends and scewing it up


Sorry to hear that, I'm not one for webcomics, but I hope your's gets off the ground!
Last edited by SodaPopHT; Feb 15, 2016 @ 5:58am
ian Feb 15, 2016 @ 7:35am 
rip
ian Feb 15, 2016 @ 7:36am 
also what did you do exactly i read this entire post and i still don't understand what went on
Last edited by ian; Feb 15, 2016 @ 7:36am
FUCK THUG Feb 15, 2016 @ 8:30am 
Like RobotDog said, it was good of you to acknowledge your behaviour and not hide it. Kinda bummed out that Spiteful is cancelled, but hey life goes on. Good luck with your future projects.
Fox Feb 15, 2016 @ 9:59am 
Sorry to hear things didn't go so well mate.

Hope your other projects work out better in the future.
zuzu Feb 15, 2016 @ 10:56am 
sorry it had to happen like this :c hopefully you can make amends with taitoki one day
you could just save the spiteful for another time if its too difficult
good luck with your future endeavors! hope the rest of the week wont be so awful for you
Heantrad Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:16pm 
I don't know the full story, and I don't know what really happen.
It also have a problem, when things like this happen, I never have the correct words to help or give self-esteem to people.
But I feel I shouldn't shut up in this case.
I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever problem that has happen to you, gets solved soon.
kitty cat Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:18pm 
Originally posted by Heantrad:
I don't know the full story, and I don't know what really happen.
It also have a problem, when things like this happen, I never have the correct words to help or give self-esteem to people.
But I feel I shouldn't shut up in this case.
I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever problem that has happen to you, gets solved soon.
Long story short, he was making a fangame called lisa the spiteful. For some reason he was making it in game maker so no party members or actual combat.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxFN8NmXw6I [Embed]

Now, the kid making it went to shill his game on /v/ in the start of January and the thread was a train wreck. I say kid because he's underage and expected ding to care about his birthday kek https://mobile.twitter.com/SodaPopHT/status/638548753947979776

Along the line he got a musician to help him, a 15 year old trans girl who went by the name of taitoki. He later sexually harassed her and a friend to the point where she couldn't take it anymore http://imgur.com/a/EGflb

The dev then made a half♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'apology' after getting called out and decided to cancel to game http://steamcommunity.com/app/335670/discussions/0/412447331646204806/

tl;dr - the guy making a lisa fangame was a perverted underage creep and cancelled the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ project after his musician couldn't take his sexual harassment.

Source: 2 + 1 x 2 - 2chan
Last edited by kitty cat; Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:18pm
ian Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:20pm 
Originally posted by Melting needs more porn:
Originally posted by Heantrad:
I don't know the full story, and I don't know what really happen.
It also have a problem, when things like this happen, I never have the correct words to help or give self-esteem to people.
But I feel I shouldn't shut up in this case.
I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever problem that has happen to you, gets solved soon.
Long story short, he was making a fangame called lisa the spiteful. For some reason he was making it in game maker so no party members or actual combat.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxFN8NmXw6I [Embed]

Now, the kid making it went to shill his game on /v/ in the start of January and the thread was a train wreck. I say kid because he's underage and expected ding to care about his birthday kek https://mobile.twitter.com/SodaPopHT/status/638548753947979776

Along the line he got a musician to help him, a 15 year old trans girl who went by the name of taitoki. He later sexually harassed her and a friend to the point where she couldn't take it anymore http://imgur.com/a/EGflb

The dev then made a half♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'apology' after getting called out and decided to cancel to game http://steamcommunity.com/app/335670/discussions/0/412447331646204806/

tl;dr - the guy making a lisa fangame was a perverted underage creep and cancelled the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ project after his musician couldn't take his sexual harassment.

Source: 2 + 1 x 2 - 2chan
he seems like the kinda guy you would see geting a ed article of
ian Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:23pm 
Originally posted by Melting needs more porn:
Originally posted by Heantrad:
I don't know the full story, and I don't know what really happen.
It also have a problem, when things like this happen, I never have the correct words to help or give self-esteem to people.
But I feel I shouldn't shut up in this case.
I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever problem that has happen to you, gets solved soon.
Long story short, he was making a fangame called lisa the spiteful. For some reason he was making it in game maker so no party members or actual combat.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxFN8NmXw6I [Embed]

Now, the kid making it went to shill his game on /v/ in the start of January and the thread was a train wreck. I say kid because he's underage and expected ding to care about his birthday kek https://mobile.twitter.com/SodaPopHT/status/638548753947979776

Along the line he got a musician to help him, a 15 year old trans girl who went by the name of taitoki. He later sexually harassed her and a friend to the point where she couldn't take it anymore http://imgur.com/a/EGflb

The dev then made a half♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'apology' after getting called out and decided to cancel to game http://steamcommunity.com/app/335670/discussions/0/412447331646204806/

tl;dr - the guy making a lisa fangame was a perverted underage creep and cancelled the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ project after his musician couldn't take his sexual harassment.

Source: 2 + 1 x 2 - 2chan
also i rember that thread it went pretty bad
SodaPopHT Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:24pm 
Originally posted by ianj malicious group smasher:
also what did you do exactly i read this entire post and i still don't understand what went on

I left my feelings for someone offline affect how I treated people in private over Skype, if they were even slightly nice to me. I sorta slowed down and tried to stop towards the
but by that point, they were so stressed out by how I was that they didn't want anything to do with me. Again, I don't blame them for anything in that mess. It was my fault.
One of them was happy that I had started trying to get better, but was kinda negative about everything when we were in calls with a lot of people. I tried to make them feel better
but ended up resorting to my old urges and behavior. ALthough, I say old, really I've only been this way since the end of last year. I don't know why, but maybe I do, deep down.
And as for the other one, the one who isn't really all that negative, and the one who actually cared about the Spiteful, well I didn't even realize I was upsetting her.
I should've just kept my mouth shut and to myself. But I'm a very, very depraved person. I'm sure a few people understand what I mean by that. They certainly do.

Originally posted by Boxcar Racer:
Like RobotDog said, it was good of you to acknowledge your behaviour and not hide it. Kinda bummed out that Spiteful is cancelled, but hey life goes on. Good luck with your future projects.
Boxcar, I consider you a close friend. I even wrote you down on the 'Special Thanks' sheet of paper when I was writing out the ending during a class.
You, Taitoki, and Lenny were fairly nice to just talk to during my downtime; and even though Taitoki isn't going to talk to me for a while, I still consider all of you to be wonderful.

Originally posted by Cheesecake:
Sorry to hear things didn't go so well mate.

Hope your other projects work out better in the future.

And I'm sorry for getting everyone's hopes up. Ironically, this game was me venting about my behavior and feelings over these past few months.
However, that was another thing that might've made people curious, as it was asked during a couple chats I and some others hosted.
But it was mostly glanced over.

Originally posted by zuzu:
sorry it had to happen like this :c hopefully you can make amends with taitoki one day
you could just save the spiteful for another time if its too difficult
good luck with your future endeavors! hope the rest of the week wont be so awful for you

Taitoki and I did talk after I found out about all of this, and that I caused it.
We may still talk later on, and she gave me permission to use the tracks she made for the Spiteful. But it feels wrong for me to do that. I honestly don't want to have her work ruined by me. And there's a huge chance people would've hated the Spiteful('s gameplay) anyhow.
I still want people to listen to her music, it's amazing and her work is precisely great.

She might forgive me, she might not. I dunno what's gonna happen, if anything.
I told her I was sorry, and I honestly had no idea about how she felt. I can't seem to tell how anybody feels about the things I do, good or bad.
But I won't drag her down in the dirt. I don't know what's been said about me, and really, I just want this whole mess to stop. I keep responding to messages and comments and replies. And I don't know what to tell people, other than, I'm sorry. It might still happen. But the chances are so slim, I'd probably just forget about it and everything I promised would happen for it.

That being said, while I am upset I ruin a lot of people's time. The amount of suggestions and sprite-music-audio-fanart submissions for this kept me going during some rough days at school. And I'd love to see someone else make a LISA fangame of their very own. I bet someone could do it.

As for me, I don't know what I should do or what I'm going to do. I don't know a lot, actually. Maybe I'll find out. Hell, maybe things will get better. I keep hoping they will, with a lot. Right now, I'm just gonna stay quiet unless someone speaks to me.
I'll keep responding to messages and all of that. I don't want the large mass of people who were hyped about this to stay upset. People feel bad for Taitoki, some feel bad for me (for some reason), and/or a mixture of anger and hope. It's not what I was expecting, but that's life. I won't tell anyone to talk to her, or even me. I just hope people don't take something too far, like I did.

Learn from me if you can. Some♥♥♥♥♥♥needs to stay in your brain, and kept to yourself sometimes.

But I'd probably be beating a dead horse with a stick by saying that. I've got a lot of mental problems to sort out. I'll leave the venting I do sometimes to close, offline people who care about me and have known me longer, and my therapist. And the other venting I do, I'm gonna stop.

We live in a ♥♥♥♥ed up world, with ♥♥♥♥ed up people and I am one of them, I feel.
Someone told me I've just had a bit of bad luck lately. But, I don't think it's luck that did all of this, it was me, and how I am, and respond to things. I take things out on other people, and I regret it and I will do my best to stop doing it to people I meet.
But right now, I'm just, gonna stop talking about it all.
SodaPopHT Feb 15, 2016 @ 12:31pm 
Originally posted by Melting needs more porn:
Originally posted by Heantrad:
I don't know the full story, and I don't know what really happen.
It also have a problem, when things like this happen, I never have the correct words to help or give self-esteem to people.
But I feel I shouldn't shut up in this case.
I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever problem that has happen to you, gets solved soon.
Long story short, he was making a fangame called lisa the spiteful. For some reason he was making it in game maker so no party members or actual combat.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxFN8NmXw6I [Embed]

Now, the kid making it went to shill his game on /v/ in the start of January and the thread was a train wreck. I say kid because he's underage and expected ding to care about his birthday kek https://mobile.twitter.com/SodaPopHT/status/638548753947979776

Along the line he got a musician to help him, a 15 year old trans girl who went by the name of taitoki. He later sexually harassed her and a friend to the point where she couldn't take it anymore http://imgur.com/a/EGflb

The dev then made a half♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'apology' after getting called out and decided to cancel to game http://steamcommunity.com/app/335670/discussions/0/412447331646204806/

tl;dr - the guy making a lisa fangame was a perverted underage creep and cancelled the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ project after his musician couldn't take his sexual harassment.

Source: 2 + 1 x 2 - 2chan

I wouldn't consider it half♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Then again I'm the one you're talking about, so you probably expected that. Also I didn't think she was friends with him. And he was mean compared to her. But yes, this is mostly what happened. There's more to it, but I'm done with talking about it.

I let personal♥♥♥♥♥♥ruin a really great friendship, and then I canceled this fangame for being too stressful on me, and I was stressful on her, and it's all my fault and now I'm just trying to make people not angry at me anymore. But with everything I say it gets worse, but I am responding to everyone. I've made a lot of people upset, and I hurt people.
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LISA > General Discussions > Topic Details
Date Posted: Feb 14, 2016 @ 9:55pm
Posts: 98