The Forest of Doom

The Forest of Doom

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Hyeron Nov 26, 2014 @ 3:10pm
Problems in the french translation
Just tried the French localization, and I've met a few problems. I've listed what I've seen so far - roughly - hereunder, in case it interests you, Tin Man.


General (combat & other situations):
Habilité MUST be Habileté
Agilité is a french word. Habileté is a french word. Habilité is the kind of mistake a kid makes. Unless I'm competely senile FF uses Habileté.

Main menu:
Exit ("Quitter") isn't translated.

In the "Prologue":
"l y a un nombre illimité" should be "Il y a un nombre illimité"


In the "About Free Read":
"Utilisez l'ENDURANCE, l'HABILETÉ et la CHANCE du Mode Difficile" means it uses the Hard mode rules... Which it doesn't, as Skill is D6+6
Should be "Utilisez l'ENDURANCE, l'HABILETÉ et la CHANCE du Mode Moyen".

When rolling the attributes:
"Vous lancez X plus Y, votre total de ATTRIBUTE est Z."
Is a stupid choice, to put it bluntly. ENDURANCE, HABILETÉ and CHANCE are F-gendered words in French. All of them, meaning instead of using this, which requires "votre total d'ENDURANCE" instead of the current "votre total de ENDURANCE" and thus looks bad as it is now...
"Vous lancez X plus Y, votre ATTRIBUTE totale est Z." (or "Vous lancez X plus Y, votre ATTRIBUTE totale est de Z." (which I feel is more natural, but YMMV)
Bonus: it's a tad shorter.

"About Luck":
"Votre chance indique à quel point vous pètes chanceux" > "Votre chance indique à quel point vous êtes chanceux."
"La chance - ainsi que le mal"... Well you almost made me laugh there. Almost. Verbatim dung is verbatim.
It re-translates to "Luck - as well as Evil". A correct translation would be "La chance - ainsi que la malchance"

When choosing the starting potion:
"une bouteille d'une potion magique", while technically correct, is immersion-breaking. "une fiole de potion magique" would be slightly better. Not required, mind.
"à votre CHANCE initial" should be "à votre CHANCE initiale".
"buvez les sagement" should be "buvez-les sagement" (and is awkward, but whatever)

ADVENTURE SHEET:
If possible, "Epée" should be "Épée".

§261:
"ECHANGE" should be "ÉCHANGE"
"COUT" should be "COÛT"
FIRE CAPSULES: "Explose brûle" should be either "Explosent" or "Brûlent". But not both, and in plural form either way.
"Gant d'Adresse au Lancer" also becomes "Gant dAdresse au Lancer" when trying to buy it. Missing escape character?
"Ring of light states "Gives sight in the dark darkness". Erm... "Donne de la lumière dans les ténèbres" ("Gives light in the dark") maybe?

§181:
HOMME-POISSON becomes HOMMEPOISSON in the popup windows.

§107:
TONS of untranslated things here during the fight:
You (Vous)
DEMON DE FEU should be DÉMON DE FEU
Fire Sword Attack (Attaque Épée de Feu - or Attaque Épée if it's too long, the text already states what we're facing, doesn't it? Or even Épée de Feu. Your choice. This last one is probably the best if the whole thing is too long.)
Skill + roll (Habileté + lancer)
Whip (Fouet)
Hit (Touché)
Miss (Raté)

I'll be playing in French a bit more as it's still bearable, so I'll probably be able to throw some more your way if you're interested. Just tell me. :)
Last edited by Hyeron; Nov 27, 2014 @ 10:55am
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Showing 1-6 of 6 comments
Tin Clinton Nov 26, 2014 @ 8:01pm 
Hey thanks for the info! We'll pass this feedback on and try to get some fixes out soon.
Cheers
Hyeron Nov 27, 2014 @ 1:04pm 
Second playthrough, here's some more. :)

FINAL EDIT BEFORE BEDTIME - I'm tired, it's been a long week, and I didn't double-check every correction hereunder. Where applicable, I've added stuff like "I think", just so you know it should be checked and taken with a pinch of salt, I'm a lazy prick. ;)

§91
The scroll isn't translated.
It says:
"Œil d'Ambre
---Comment l'utiliser--- (this line's tentative, but it should work and is short enough not to be a bother)
À votre cou passez ce collier
et questionnez ceux dont vous doutez ;
Qu'importe ce qu'ils voudront dire,
Jamais ils ne pourront vous mentir."
(switched the rhyme from A?BA?B to AABB but it should be good to go)

§329
There seems to be a missing space here. "mène vers l'est.Vous" should be "mène vers l'est. Vous" if it is indeed missing.

§265
"Si il vous écrase" should be "S'il vous écrase"

§370 (among others?)
The following strings aren't translated:
"You dropped" - which should be "Vous avez perdu" as a more verbatim translation would be either too long or awkward.
"Oh well." - tentative: "Tant pis."
Side note: I dropped the Eye of Amber. Two things: it's spelled "Oeil d'Ambre" while it should be "Œil d'Ambre" if encoding allows it, and it states "(sur une Chaine en Argent)", which should be "(sur une Chaîne en Argent)". Maybe those appear elsewhere, didn't think of checking my AS beforehand, for example, sorry. :/

ADVENTURE SHEET :
Garlic: "Gousses dAil" should be "Gousses d'Ail"
"Magic Armour" isn't translated and should be "Armure Magique" or "Protection Magique" (the former is more literal, depends on what goes in the section, I guess.)

§103
FWIW, depending on the configuration, the colon appears at the beginning of a new line, any way to put nbsp's before those?

§57 and potentially others:
"oeil" should be "œil" if encoding permits.

§104
See 103, this particular kind of quotation marks should use nbsp's.

EDIT / BONUS - ACHIEVEMENTS:
"MacLean's Aim": "flêches" should be "flèches"
"Lucky Luke": is way too convoluted, currently states the player should be Lucky an indefinite number of times. "Soyez Chanceux à un jet de CHANCE", based on "Unlucky Barman", would be better.
"Forty-thousand Cheers": "40000K" makes 4M. Use "40000", "40,000" or "40K" - those are the French abbreviations for WH40K too. Also, "Marteu" should be "Marteau".
"Mr. Kessler": "Lycantropie" should be "Lycanthropie". Jeez. Someone needs to brush up their spelling.
"Cheater's Win": there's no such thing as a "Cheating Mode"/"Cheat Mode". Thus, "Mode Triche" should be "Lecture libre" or "Mode Lecture libre", as stated in the "Prologue" or whatever you guys call it.



As an aparte, 1920x1080 is buggy as sin on my rig (GNU/Linux - Arch x64, nVidia 650Ti, proprietary drivers, native resolution being 1920x1080). Shows the weird symptoms described somewhere in the FEAR forums (extreme zoom-in and stuff - while FEAR doesn't show that very behavior. It's not even consistent, mind, every now and then I can launch the game alright, and it seems to occur more often with fullscreen. Quality doesn't change its behavior either. Funny bug). But that's another topic, isn't it? :)



EDIT 2 - EXTRAS: THE STORY OF "THE FOREST OF DOOM" (or whatever ;))
"La forêt de la malédiction Une histoire par Ian Livingstone" should be "La Forêt de la Malédiction - Une histoire par Ian Livingstone" (or something)
"Le premier Défis Fantastique" should be "Le premier Défis Fantastiques"
"après le Sorcier , j'ai" should be "après le Sorcier, j'ai".
"et les aventures fantastiques" should be "et des aventures fantastiques"
"au sommet d'un immense arbre; mon château" should be "au sommet d'un immense arbre ; mon château" (friendly reminder, while I'm at it: semicolons ALSO should use nbsp if possible :))
"que vous voyez" should be "que vous voyiez". With a few critical Bescherelle hits as a bonus.
"Fantômes et goules étaient connues" should be "Fantômes et goules étaient connus". Fantômes is M-gendered, so connu has to be M-gendered. Critical Bescherelle combo.
For consistency, "je commençais à organiser l'aventure" should be "je commençai à organiser l'aventure"
I *feel* "un de ses homerun" should be "un de ses homeruns". But it's been a long day and I'm not sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. To be checked.
"sur le champs droit" should be "sur le champ droit"
"et le suspens" should be "et le suspense"
"je voulais que les illustration" should be "je voulais que les illustrations"
"soient exactement fidèles" is redundancy 101. "soient fidèles"
"J'ai eut" should be "J'ai eu". Seriously guys, buy them some Bescherelle books. They need it.
"oeil" - again... "œil" if encoding permits
"Steve et moi furent". Sorry Clinton, turn a blind eye on this, but...
GET BACK TO ♥♥♥♥ING SCHOOL YOU ♥♥♥♥ING MORON. THAT'S FOUR IN FOUR PAGES, FOR ♥♥♥♥'S SAKE. BUY A BESCHERELLE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT DO SOMETHING. CHRIST. MY DAUGHTER IS BETTER AT THIS THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF AT THIS POINT. AND SHE'S TEN. *TEN*.
So, where was I? :)
"Steve et moi furent", thus, should be "Steve et moi fûmes" - It's a "we", not a "they". For ♥♥♥♥'s sake.
"à@ian_livingstone" should be "à @ian_livingstone"
"qui restent en suspend" should be "qui restent en suspens".
"dans la Forêt de la Malédiction , bonne chance" should be "dans la Forêt de la Malédiction, bonne chance"

EDIT 3 - EXTRAS: THE STORY OF FIGHTING FANTASY (or whatever - bis repetita)
"ont connus plein de choses bonnes, mauvaises ou de carrément moches". Please, don't move, I just need to scream for a bit. Chances are you'll hear it.
It's plain nonsensical and badly written. Should be "ont connu plein de choses bonnes, mauvaises ou carrément moches". And it's as childish as it gets, but whatever, I said I wouldn't nitpick.
"pour la première fois , le Prince" should be "pour la première fois, le Prince"
"la Guerre des Falklands" should be "la Guerre des Malouines". How old is this guy exactly? 12? O_o
"jeu de rôle,le Sorcier" should be "jeu de rôle, le Sorcier"
There's also some fugly switching in tenses and awkward stuff roaming in there, but I'm not gonna nitpick or this will never, ever end.
"du monde jeu" should be "du monde du jeu" (or something)
"pièces de monnaie,sorts" should be "pièces de monnaie, sorts"
"etc" should be "etc."
"que a) il" should be "a) qu'il"
"l'équilibre de l'aventure", I think, should be "l'équilibrage de l'aventure"
"où ça devait l'être" should be "où elle devait l'être"
"un compte rendu" should be "un compte-rendu"
"à la tête du Puffin" should be "à la tête de Puffin"
I think you have a "A un moment". If I'm reading it right (blame the font :)), it should be "À un moment"
"la caverneuse ontagne de Feu" should be "la caverneuse Montagne de Feu"
"inconsistances" should be "incohérences". Christ.
"faire du livre, un jeu" should be "faire du livre un jeu"
"qui étaient les normes" should be "qui étaient la norme"
"Ils ont convaincus Puffin" should be "Ils ont convaincu Puffin"
"devait être supprimé; et" should be "devait être supprimé ; et"
"les droits d'auteurs", I think, should be "les droits d'auteur"
"le changement évident de style d'écriture à la première moitié" should be "le changement évident de style d'écriture à la moitié"
"de nouveaux titres- et vite" should be "de nouveaux titres - et vite"
"franc parler" should be "franc-parler" (the whole thing is damn awkward too, but whatever)
"de sorcellerie, et de démons" should be "de sorcellerie et de démons"
"Les collines maléfiques" should be "Les Collines Maléfiques"
"dans les coeurs" should be "dans les cœurs" (and dang, the whole two pages before this one should be rewritten. It's painful. Seriously.)
"l'Oeil d'Emeraude" should be "L'Œil d'Émeraude"
"de le Sang des Zombies" should be "du Sang des Zombies" (or "de Le Sang des Zombies", but the former is HIGHLY preferrable)
"à Left 4 Dead" should be "à la Left 4 Dead" (and this whole frigging page needs a rehaul too)
"smart phones" should be "smartphones"
"et percutante; à 30 ans" should be "et percutante ; à 30 ans" - and it still makes NO sense. "Alive and kicking" should NEVER be translated verbatim).

And it's almost midnight and I should be sleeping already and I love/hate you so much. Next are the rules, but I guess it can wait. Cheers. And did I say I love/hate you? And that you better bring the other books to Steam or I'll find you and... :)
Last edited by Hyeron; Nov 27, 2014 @ 2:38pm
Hyeron Nov 29, 2014 @ 1:34am 
A bit late, but here goes. Guess I'm still human and still need to sleep every now and then.


EDIT - Please note that this list is by NO MEANS exhaustive. And that this EDIT should be taken into account for all posts here. I'm just listing what appears at a first, VERY quick glance.

PRE-POST: Thank god I still have a gamebook or three.
"Tester votre CHANCE" and "testez votre CHANCE" didn't feel right for some reason.
After all, trying your luck in French is "tenter/tentez votre chance".
After checking a gamebook or two, I can confirm any and all occurrences should be changed to the proper French form "tenter votre CHANCE", "tentez votre CHANCE".

RULES -

READING THE FOREST OF DOOM
"Lire un livre dont vous êtes le héros électronique" should be "lire un livre dont vous êtes le héros". It reads wrong. Very wrong.
Until someone proves me wrong, the hero is the reader, and the reader is NOT an electronical being. This is way too awkward for an adjective that is barely relevant.

Once again: HABILITE *MUST* be "HABILETÉ" (WITH the acute accent) - oh, and after checking Master of Chaos, I can DEFINITELY confirm I'm not senile...

"vous serez lancés" must be "vous serez lancé". This isn't a plural form you fidiot, this is a polite you. Always has been, always will be. In German? It's a "Sie", not a "sie".
"entre un nombre d'options possibles" should/could be "entre diverses options". If they're options, they're by essence possible. If they're plural, there's by essence a number of them. LRN2FRENCH.
"Ce sont des liens de page, des liens de combat ou des liens de lancer" should be "Il s'agit des liens de page, des liens de combat et des liens de lancer" or "Ce sont les liens de page, les liens de combat et les liens de lancer". Former preferrable.

At this point I can already say the whole section is in dire need of an overhaul as well, BTW. It doesn't read like French. It reads like some kind of disabled alien is trying to write in French.

"glissera à l'écran" reads like the Adventure Sheet is actually on the rink and having fun. "apparaîtra à l'écran".
"la sections Combats" must be "la section Combats"
"disparaitront" must be "disparaîtront"
"de ne pas el posséder" must be "de ne pas le posséder"
"une porte fermé" must be "une porte fermée"
"connaitre" must be "connaître"
"ex : " must be "p.ex. : "
"passage secret)" must be "passage secret)."

SKILL, STAMINA, LUCK
Seriously, Tin Man, there are ♥♥♥♥loads of good translators out there, some of them willing to work for free or for a nominal fee. Quit hiring people with no experience and no real knowledge of their own language >_>
"Habilite" MUST BE "Habileté"
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ"
"expertise de combattant; " must be "expertise de combattant ; "
"the higher the better" must NEVER be translated verbatim. Thus,
"le plus haut le meilleur" should be "un score élevé est préférable" or something.
"et votre courage; " must be "et votre courage ; "
"Votre CHANCE indique quelle personne chanceuse vous êtes" is preposterous. "Votre CHANCE indique si vous êtes une personne chanceuse".
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ"
"La chance - et le mal" - see first post.
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ". Why do I keep mentioning it? Just for fun. Maybe.
"ainsi votre score de départ est réduit de 3 points" is ridiculous. "aussi votre score de départ est-il réduit de 3 points"
"d'HABILITE" MUST BE "d'HABILETÉ"
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ".
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ".
"votre ENDURANCE de départ . Votre" must be "votre ENDURANCE de départ. Votre"
"Vos scores de HABILITE, ENDURANCE et CHANCE" should be, if technically possible, "vos scores d'HABILETÉ, d'ENDURANCE et de CHANCE". Don't see how it wouldn't be.
"quelques soient" - see previous post for screams and insults. Must be "quels que soient"
"Scores de départ ." must be "scores de départ."

COMBAT
"des goules, des hommes" is erm... Dare I say sexist and preposterous? "des goules, des humains". Unless the Witch is in fact a man.
"d'attaquez" - see previous post for screams and insults. Must be "d'attaquer"
"la créature" has a problem. Depending on config, "créature" may appear on the next line with a huge space before it that makes no sense. See screenshot at the end of the post
"apparaitra" must be "apparaîtra".
"HABILITE" MUST BE "HABILETÉ".
"si vous en combattez plusieurs" has the same problem as "la créature". See screenshot at the end of the post.
"d'HABILITE" MUST BE "d'HABILETÉ".
"Si il y a" must be "s'il y a" - screams, insults -> previous post.
"A ce point" must be "À ce stade" - "à ce point" is verbatim and means, in French, "THAT much". "a ce point" without accent "means" "has this point" (point as in score, or the little dot, y'know, this kind of stuff)
"votre CHANCE , vous perdez 1 point" should be "votre CHANCE, vous perdez 1 point"
"si il tourne mal" must be "s'il tourne mal". Seriously, someone who doesn't know THAT should NEVER be hired. EVER.
"round après round" should be "tour après tour" if we're to use RPG terms, or "assaut après assaut" if we're to use gamebook terms. Either way, what itches me here is that there wasn't any reference to rounds up to this point.
"jusqu'à le score" must be "jusqu'à ce que le score". I think he accidentally a of words.
"quelles ne sont pas considérées". Screams and insults all 'round. "qu'elles ne sont pas considérées"
"une fois la première éliminée, vous devrez combattre la suivante"... So if I have to fight three creatures, I get to kill the first one, fight the second one and forget about the third one? Man, I've been playing FF the wrong way all these years.
"alors une fois la première éliminée, vous devrez combattre la suivante" should be "vous devrez les affronter une par une"
Either way, "alors" is redundancy 101 - there's an if up there, we know this is the then already, as there's a comma.

ADVENTURE SHEET
First off, I'd say "Feuille d'aventure" should be "Feuille d'Aventure". But maybe that's just me. Subsequently, if applicable, I'll use Feuille d'Aventure hereunder. It shall not be the point of any remark from here on. :p
"dans votre Feuille d'aventure , " should be "sur votre Feuille d'Aventure, "
"que vous pourrez accéder". Even more insults. "à laquelle vous pouvez accéder"
'glissera à l'écran" - see hereabove, "READING FOD" section
"vous serez capable de glisser" reads as "you'll be able to slip". "vous serez capable de faire défiler l'écran de bas en haut en faisant glisser votre doigt sur celui-ci" is WAY longer, but WAY more accurate.
(even though, just like all other touch references, it shares the problem of being thought for the phone/tablet and not the computer, but hey. Are you willing to branch the localization just for this kind of things?)
"soit tapez sur l'écran, hors de la feuille" makes NO sense. You NEVER use either without either in French, we don't use "either/or". And guess what was used by our favorite fidiot?
It's not the only blot here, so the WHOLE thing must be changed from
"Pour renvoyer cette feuille, soit tapez sur l'écran, hors de la feuille, ou glissez là à l'extérieur"
to
"Pour renvoyer la Feuille d'Aventure, touchez l'écran hors de celle-ci ou faites-la glisser hors de vue".
("To dismiss the Adventure Sheet, touch the screen beside it or drag it out of view" - VERY VERY roughly, but that should give you the new translation hereabove alright)
Should you choose not to use it, here's what needs to be changed:
* "soit" must be removed, there's no dicking around here. It doesn't fit the structure. Meaning it becomes:
"Pour renvoyer cette feuille, tapez sur l'écran, hors de la feuille, ou glissez là à l'extérieur". 'right so far? Good.
* "cette feuille" is awkward, as it seems to be referring to something about the inventory. Have it your way.
* "hors de la feuille" is redundant as "cette feuille" was used just above. Have it your way.
* "glissez là" means "slide there". "glissez-la" means "slip it". Have it your way, but any verb you use with "la" when "la refers to the Sheet needs a hyphen. Have a lot of fun.

The whole STATS section is nonsensical. Also, "HABILITE" must be "HABILETÉ". And "votre" should be "vos". In both cases. Meaning "score" should be "scores".
"CE QUE VOUS SAVEZ .-" - I don't even. "CE QUE VOUS SAVEZ -"
As a side note, I *DEFINITELY* believe, at this point, that you've asked the community to translate the game at this point. Because many, many structures are those of a kid who doesn't master the intricacies of French. Case in point?
"plein". This section is filled with "plein", which has a HUGE number of more "elaborate" variants. "Plein" is kid's stuff. And it adds to the weight of the redundancy that plagues the whole thing. I'd say the kid is around 12-14, no more. At least his vocabulary and grammar and stylistic masteries do not exceed those of said kid.
Anyway, more to the point: a few things here should be overhauled to avoid using "plein".
For example, "Vous trouverez plein d'objets" could be "Vous trouverez nombre d'objets"

"ils seront listés là"... WHERE, FOR ♥♥♥♥'S SAKE? The AS does NOT have a section "CE QUE VOUS AVEZ". Know what that means?
That means back to the drawing board. Anyway, quick fix: "CE QUE VOUS SAVEZ" becomes "Connaissances", as stated in the AS, and "CE QUE VOUS AVEZ" becomes "Possessions", as stated in the AS.

"SOINS" - it's only after reading this that I realized what was wrong exactly. This section states that the "SOINS" section of the AS lists any and all items that can restore my STAMINA. But as far as I know, that's not ALL it lists, as a Luck Potion gives back some LUCK. I guess "Soins" could stay, although "Objets Curatifs" would potentially be better - and even then it wouldn't be perfect. Either way, this section needs to be rewritten, maybe even in English.
To be checked: is "AUTRES ARMES" the name of the section on the AS?

BOOKMARKS
Erm... The first line must be redone. I guess it's safe to say "Signet" ("Bookmark") should be the title. And that it should be plural - "Signets"
"cela sera le cas" should be "ce sera le cas" or "tel sera le cas".
"pas eut de chance" must be "pas eu de chance"
"qui peut aider !" needs a nbsp. Again.
"dans le coins supérieur" must be "dans le coin supérieur"

OBJECTIVES AND GALLERY
"de cette énorme bâtisse" - Really? "of this huge building"? Is the Forest made of concrete now?
"trouver les objets et informations secrètes s'y trouvant". First of all, redundancy 101. Trouver/trouvant. Rewrite. NAO.
Then, does secret refer to the information only, or to the info AND the items? If it refers to both, "objets" is M-gendered, thus "secrètes" should be "secrets".

"Toutes celles originales de la version papier" reads like Swahili. Must be fixed. Too tired with this bulldung to keep suggesting anything at this point. I'd throw the whole translation out the window and work back from scratch if I were working on this. Which I'm not.
"depuis la section Récompense" should be "depuis la section Récompenses".
Furthermore, both references to said section don't take into account the fact that "Récompenses" is, in fact, a SUBsection of the menu. To be fixed.

Screenshot for the "space" problem: http://imgur.com/ujU2vao

Aaaaaand that's it for the really obvious stuff that wouldn't take a lot to fix. Want a more in-depth analysis and the list of EVERYTHING that's wrong? I can do that. Just shout. It'll be awfully long compared to this, though. As stated, WHOLE pages need to be rewritten. I also need more time to cross-check the rest (which is a lot) with the quick fixes listed here. Y'know where to find me. :)
Last edited by Hyeron; Nov 29, 2014 @ 6:43am
Hyeron Nov 29, 2014 @ 3:51am 
Oh. And one last remark before I keep reading. It seems you're using Camille Fabien's translation for the game proper, albeit with a few quick fixes - compared to the first FR edition, at least. That's good (great, even, Fabien's awesome at translating flavor stuff and keeping a satisfying experience as far as level of language is concerned). What's not so good and what I don't understand is why you'd edit lines that didn't need to be edited, removing flavor in the process (e.g. §325's "garlic option"). But that's nitpicking really.
Last edited by Hyeron; Nov 29, 2014 @ 3:55am
Tin Clinton Nov 30, 2014 @ 3:08pm 
Thanks again for the feedback. If you find anything else you think we need to address then you can email us directly using the contact form here; http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?page_id=135

This means we'll see it a lot quicker and can pass the feedback on directly, cheers!
Hyeron Dec 1, 2014 @ 6:52am 
Will do just that, cheers and thanks again for bringing this over to Steam and Linux :)
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