That's women for you.

iv been in the same prob it takes like a skyrim month to take her to make it there

Sounds like you guys have some women issues, I can't even figure out how to buy a piece of land...

Get the wife can live any whare from off the nexus and she will be there in a game month.

Yeah, Hearthfire is beyond buggy. Among other things, for some strange reason, it seems like other mods make the game revert to vanilla scripting so that spouses won't recognize the Hearthfire homes as places to move to, and removing those mods doesn't help. Even absent those mods there are issues with spouses and the HF home. Not to mention the fact that my mannequins in Lakeview manor won't stay in place, taking Rayya on as house stward dismissed my follower for no reason, etc etc etc.

One work-around is using the "Spouses can move anywhere" mod from Nexus. Another work-around if you're gong to do that is just not dealing with Hearthfire to begin with and delete the thing. There are better player homes available in the workshop. Bethesda released a sub-par piece of work and should have never charged for it.

get 'follower tweaks'mod.take your follower anywhere,press'action,press 'dismiss but hang out here'.although sometimes they still walk away!

I can't believe the lack of jokes about this...I mean c'mon guys. I expected this post to be trolled beyond all recognition.

Anyway, to answer the question, it looks like you only have two options. Divorce (I would be more than happy to mod an attorney for you to take care of this) or murder (Dark Brotherhood should be more than happy to take care of her for you).

Here is the location link: http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/11370
This allows you to mark the house.

lol k ill try these options ill let know if i continue to have the problem.

I read somewhere that getting spouses to move into Breezehome may allow them to then move into the Hearthfire houses if they are bugged. I've not had this bug tho so I can't give you proof of that :)