Defeat the Wharf level. What's up with that dude wearing shades at night?
Defeat the Playmore Park level. There are kids out there that want to play on the slide!
Defeat the Anarchy Way level. Extra points for curb stomping anarchists.
Complete any level with Dr. Karate.
Defeat the King Street level. You're a real tough guy.
Defeat 1 enemy by throwing the helpless, flailing body of a second enemy at him.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher Canada.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher China.
Stabby Rascal Crimelord
Defeat Stabby Rascal and his gang of toughs.
Defeat Sobtanian, the beats-loving electro-punk.
Defeat the Nude Beach level. We're sorry for putting you through that.
Subway Gas Attack
Defeat the Subway Gas Attack level. Cultists. Can't trust 'em.
Defeat the Orchards level. And, no, there is not a hidden, apple-picking mini-game.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher France.
Collect the following items: 3 Spunk Sodas, 2 Watermelons, 2 Hotdogs, 2 Hamburgers
Collect the following items: 100 Pieces of Fruit
Grizzly Yves Crimelord
Defeat the devilish Grizzly Yves and his seafaring followers.
Fuel Efficient Smack Down
Show that all those hours at the gym paid off. Defeat 1 enemy by hoisting a smart car over your head and throwing it at him.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher Brazil.
Complete any level with Steroid Jackson.
Dr. Karate Foot Power
Defeat 25 enemies using Dr. Karate's Flash Kick.
Collect the following items: 5 Pieces of Cheese
It's Waco, Texas all over gain. Defeat 200 enemy cultists to get this achievement.
Collect the following items: 2 Tomatoes, 2 Eggplants, 2 Ears of Corn, 2 Carrots, 2 Green Peppers
Brother Antlers Crimelord
Defeat Brother Antlers, the psychotic cult ruler.
6th Street Blockade
Defeat the 6th Street Blockade level. Good-for-nothing riot cops.
Nurse King-Fu Crimelord
Defeat Nurse Kung-Fu, the wicked hospital taskmaster.
Defeat the Battle Royal level. You're a regular Bob Backlund.
Complete any level with the Beekeeper.
Defeat an enemy on the Cemetery Level with a shovel.
Complete any level with Hella Fistgerald.
Take Out The Trash
Defeat 5 Enemies by throwing trash at them. If this game had money, you'd also get a citation for throwing garbage all over the streets of our fair city.
Defeat the Bill's Storage level. We wanted to bid on locker #5. Too late now.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher Japan.
Collect the following items: 10 Spunk Colas, 5 Sporty Spunk Drinks
Defeat the Warehouse level. Don't get distracted by men in suspenders.
Defeat the Dry Viaduct level. This city could use some gentrification.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher USA.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher Russia.
The Beekeeper Mega Swarm
Defeat 25 enemies using the Beekeeper's bees.
Defeat all 5 subway levels. How green of you to take mass transit.
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher UK.
Defeat the Dracogen Lab level. No stopping for science experiments.
Collect the following items: 3 Tomatoes, 5 Chilli Peppers, 1 Garlic Clove
Lock 'n' Load
Confiscate 20 firearms from enemies.
Junk Food Glutton
Collect the following items: 1 Spunk Cola, 1 Cupcake, 1 Muffin, 1 Cheesecake, 1 Icecream Sandwich
Defeat the Stripper Town level. We won't ask any questions.
Defeat all of the hijacked delivery truck levels. And capitalism is restored!
Rescue Miss Fist Puncher Mexico.
Complete any level with O'Grady.
Big Hans Crimelord
Defeat Big Hans and his band of ruffians.
Defeat Roger atop his tower of doom.
Defeat all of the sidescrolling chase levels. Maybe you should try some Canabalt.
Defeat the Helicopters level. Pat youself on the back. You're fighting entire armies now.
Dr. Karate Kick Master
Defeat 25 enemies using Dr. Karate's Crane Kick.
General Kony Crimelord
Defeat General Kony and his army of vile thugs.
Real men use their fists, but we give credit where credit is due. Defeat 50 enemies using the jump kick attack.
Complete any level with Preston Endicott.
Defeat 1 enemy by throwing a soda machine at him. And remember to take a break from Fist Puncher and drink a refreshing Mint Spunk Cola.
Complete any level with Kid Justice.
Solve the country's prison crowding woes. Defeat 100 enemy prisoners.
Defeat 50 Enemies using bats, mauls, or shovels. No reason to fight fair in Fist Puncher.
Hella Derby Smash
Defeat 25 enemies using Hella Fistgerald's Slide Sweep Attack.
Collect the following items: 25 Mushrooms
Hella Heart Breaker
Convert 25 enemies using Hella Fistgerald's Flirtatious Kiss Attack.
Complete any level with De Capitan.
Steroid Jackson Andro Stomp
Defeat 25 enemies using Steroid Jackson's Stomp.
Defeat any level using Dr. Karate and the Beekeeper.
Lady Chop Chop
Defeat Lady Chop Chop and her deadly steel blade, AND then complete any level with Lady Chop Chop.
Steroid Jackson Back Breaker
Defeat 25 enemies using Steroid Jackson's Backbreaker.
Defeat any level using Ash Vickers.
The Beekeeper Fatal Sting
Defeat 25 enemies using the Beekeeper's Tornado Kick.
O'Grady Stun Gun Happy
Defeat 25 enemies using O'Grady's Stun Gun Attack.
O'Grady Boot + Face
Defeat 25 enemies using O'Grady's Riot Kick Attack.
Defeat any level using Steven Dengler.
Defeat any level using Dr. Karate and Hella Fistgerald.
Preston Endicott Tornado Kick
Defeat 25 enemies using Preston Endicott's Tornado Kick.
Zombie Survival Kit
Collect the following items: 2 First Aid Kits, 3 D Batteries, 2 Walkie Talkies, 1 Flashlight, 1 Duct Tape, 1 Pocket Knife
De Capitan Masked Avenger
Defeat 25 enemies using De Capitan's Superman Punch Attack.
The Milkman Crimelord
Defeat the murdering, mustachioed Milkman, AND then complete any level with Milkman.
Kid Justice Bully Beatdown
Defeat 25 enemies using Kid Justice's Flash Dive Attack.
You threw a dog and killed someone. We're calling Animal Protection.
Defeat any level using Hella Fistgerald and Steroid Jackson.
Kid Justice Schoolyard Smash
Defeat 25 enemies using Kid Justice's Eye Gouge Attack.
Defeat any level using Zotmeister.
De Capitan Low Blow
Defeat 25 enemies using De Capitan's Leg Sweep Attack.
Quentin Le Loup
Defeat any level using Quentin Le Loup.
Defeat any level using Preston Endicott and Dr. Karate.
Preston Endicott Classy Headbutt
Defeat 25 enemies using Preston Endicott's Headbutt Attack.
Collect the following items: 2 Perfumes, 2 Bottles of Wine, 2 Rings, 1 Red Rose
Above The Law
Defeat any level using Kid Justice and O'Grady.
Collect 100 unique items.
Coffee Shop Hipster
Collect the following items: 1 Spunk Coffee, 5 Books, 1 Pair of Glasses
Defeat any level using Kid Justice and the Beekeeper.
Defeat any level using Preston Endicott and O'Grady.
Defeat 100 enemy luchadores, and prove to the world that you're no jobroni.
Defeat any level using O'Grady and De Capitan.
Defeat any level using Steroid Jackson and De Capitan.
Defeat any level using Chairman Kodoshin.