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I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me
Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total.
One Fewer Than a Lewd Innuendo Because We Are Totally Past That Phase
Get exactly 68 kisses in one level. Not 67, unless you then get the 68th. 70 is right out.
I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale
Awarded for completing your 128th jump.
I Have Come to The Point in My Life Where I Appreciate Christmas Mall Music
I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It
Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates.
I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease
This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total.
OooooOOoooOOOooOOOOoOOOOO!!! -- O Ooooooooo Ooooooooo ooo Ooooooo
Geez. So, like, you're parachuting, and your velocity has decreased to the point where you're probably not going to die, right? So, what do you do? Have a sandwich? What if you held the O key down long enough? You could get this achievement. Or, you could say, "Oh, I don't want to do that." That is also okay. Also, Ichiro says that if you e-mail Owlchemy Labs customer support with the phrase "Alex is nude," it'd be a good way to mess with them. Pretty lousy thing for us to say, given that Owlchemy spent a lot of time working on this game, right? That's life. It's real. It's raw!
I Have Completed Every Single of the New Levels and Can Honestly Say That I am Awesome
Complete the 43 new levels in Awesome. You know, the lower levels? When you click on the down arrow from the level selection screen. Those levels.
I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot
Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps.
The Rhylos and Skaery Memorial Achievement, for Which We Will Honor Them
All fives. All five stars. On all levels. 81 levels. Yeah.