R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Gained your first dog helper.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
C U Next Tuesday
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Workin' for the Weekend
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Wore all three outfits.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
There's always money in the banana stand
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
Found 'em faster than GWB
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Cesar Millan is Gay
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Gary vs. a Giant Penis
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.