"Dear Demomen, have ye ever had this will to go to the medic fer a metallic surgery? Here's yer chance and fer this surgery which make ye mer powerful, ye just lose two ef yer eyes and you have to live with a metal passing through yer mouth into the back ef yer skull! However, ye win like me felah. That's cause u'l neve' have like this eve' befere. Well i'l step talkin' an tell ye that ye can get one ef em serguries from the mann co fer a very cheap price: just 75.89 fer each gram ef metal used. Cheers!" -Eyeless Dameged but Stronger Demoman

So, here is your chance to feel like never before. Don't miss this offer, for if you do, you will be DOOMED all your life! ENJOY