Drinking while killing people has in the past been reduced to carrying around a bulky supply of booze. The Scrumpy Helm has been reverse engineered from a completely useless and non-alcoholic soda dispenser, often used by quick-moving Bostonian loudmouths, to be the perfect solution to this problem. It allows you to sip the sweet drink without lifting a finger. The perfect headwear for the Demoman who loves to multitask, it combines figuratively intoxicating style with a literally intoxicating purpose.