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Be a Milk Drinker
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Category: Merchants
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0.555 MB
May 29, 2012 @ 4:12pm
Mar 6, 2013 @ 10:26pm
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Description
Are you a non-Nord wandering around a frozen country filled with tall people who like to spend their days fighting, singing, starting civil wars, griping about religious figure hating elves and the Empires who were forced into a treaty with them... and drinking so much %#@!ing alcohol you can practically hear their brain cells screaming in agony before their deaths?

Are you tired of wandering around needing something to drink that doesn't have any negative effects other than those healing potions you've been stocking up for when you need them?

Have you sworn off booze forever because the last time you got drunk, you staggered into an Imperial ambush and woke up in a cart with a rebel Jarl on his way to get beheaded, only to get attacked by a big %#@!ing black dragon?!

Are you a Khajiit? 'Nuff said.

Well then, this is the mod for you!


I made this because I'm clean and sober in real life and my hatred of alcohol borders on the psychotic. And yet, there is NOTHING else to drink in Skyrim... ANYWHERE! (Well, at least until Hearthfire was released.)

So I made this mod... I prefer the Dragonborn clean and sober. After all, you'd figure that you wouldn't want to see a person who can shout shockwaves, fire, frost, and whatever else getting drunk. He might wind up wrecking the place! Imagine having to explain THAT to the guards.

So, now, if you look behind the counter of every inn, you'll find that, despite their professing intolerence for anyone who drinks the wholesome drink that strengthens bones and teeth, they keep a small supply all ready to be sold... just in case.

And as an added laugh, I've placed some milk bottles in the houses that you can purchase and in certain other areas around Skyrim... and another place you would DEFINITELY not expect to find milk. Not to mention the dreaded SECRET BARREL OF SHAME!!! If you look around carefully, you might find out that someone just might be a closet milk drinker. The horror... THE HORROR!

AND... you will also get the satisfaction that if any of those knuckle dragging Nords calls you a milk drinker, you can say: "That's right! I drink milk all the time! 'Cause I'm the (insert appropriate expletive here) Dragonborn! Got a problem with that? FUS RO DAH!!!"

LATEST UPDATE!!! (Had to clear the update list. This description's getting too long.)

I have now added Tomato Juice to the juice list and the ability for everyone to make their juices at any cooking pot. In order to make it though, you will need three of the fruit or veggie and also WATER, which I made available at any alchemist store. I made it an ingredient before, but when I tried to drink it, it crashed the game, so I made it a food item and now it works.

So, once again, here's the list of juices:

Apple Juice - 33% Increased disease resistance and 20 points Health Fortification for 60 seconds
Carrot Juice - Nighteye for 60 seconds
Jazbay Grape Juice - Magicka Fortified by 20 points and Magicka Regeneration increased by 33% for 60 seconds
Juniper Berry Juice - Health Fortified by 20 points and Health Regeneration increased 33% for 60 seconds
Snowberry Juice - 33% resistance to fire, frost, and shock damage for 60 seconds
Tomato Juice - Stamina fortified by 20 points and Stamina Regeneration increased 33% for 60 seconds

And... as a special bonus... I made SNOWBERRY MILK!!! However, you CAN'T buy or loot this one... you have to make it yourself. Simple enough... go to any cooking pot with a bottle of milk and some snowberries, and your done. However, the effect of the snowberries get dilluted in the milk, so you only get a small health boost and a little fire resistance.

BTW, you might notice when you are making your juices, that Apple Juice is listed twice. Reason for that is that there are actually two kinds of apples, red and green. So I made it possible to make apple juice using either.

FINAL UPDATE!!! This will be my final version of this mod. I've noticed that ever since I introduced the juices, the milk had been coming up less frequently in the inns, so I reworked the mod a bit and now it comes up more often. The water is once again available only at the alchemist stores because I reasoned that noone goes to a inn's bar to drink water. And I've added one little extra tidbit... CHEESE! Now you can make your milk into cheese at any cookpot. One bottle makes a slice, three a sliced wheel, and five makes the whole wheel. I've also renamed the Secret Barrels of Shame into Milk Barrels... however, I did keep two of the Secret Barrels in the game and placed them where they should have the most comic effect... at least, that's the idea.

I've enjoyed working on this mod and taking in some of the requests. I hope that I've created a lore friendly mod that works well within the story of the game. And because I wanted the mod to be lore friendly, there were a few requests I couldn't take:

Chocolate Milk... as much as I love it, myself, unfortunately Skyrim doesn't seem to have even heard of chocolate, so I'm afraid that was impossible. This is why I created the Snowberry Milk. However, to keep it more lore friendly, I made it craftable only.

Tea... possible, but I couldn't see any ingredients other than Nirnroot that could make a viable tea.

Coffee... also possible, but I'm not a big fan of it.

Other fruit juices... once again, to maintain lore friendliness, I had to stick to the fruits and veggies available in Skyrim.

Soda... someone actually requested this. LOL! Sorry, but as several commenters have pointed out... the people of Skyrim probably haven't heard of pasturizing their milk... so how could they even know about carbonization?

Thank you to everyone who has subscribed and enjoys this mod. To be honest, I never expected it to reach the level of popularity that it did. And for that, I have to thank you again.

One last note, people have been saying the carrot juice can sometimes causes permanent nighteye. The fix for that is to just drink another carrot juice. I'm guessing that this is yet another in-game bug that's rearing its head.

LATEST UPDATE: OK... OK!!!! YOU TWISTED MY ARM!!!!!! I've updated for Hearthfire. Now all Hearthfire recipes that require the milk jug can now also be crafted with the bottled milk, too. You also can make the milk into butter.

RETRACTION: I reverted this back to the vanilla version. The Hearthfire version is now a seperate mod. Those with Hearthfire might want to upgrade to that mod.

UPDATED AGAIN!!!: Ok, forget what I said about tea. Now I've included Canis Root Tea, now that Dragonborn referenced it.

727 Comments
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gwen_higgins Aug 30 @ 3:08pm 
oh my god
Braindrop Aug 30 @ 11:05am 
best mod description ever
icicle.c.cold Aug 28 @ 2:07pm 
You are awesome, and I totally agree with you on the whole alcohol thing. Nastiest crap ever invented. Coffee too. Gives me insta-headache if I smell it brewing. YUCK! Thanks for making this mod. P.S. I'm also a Khajiit :D
EntomologistJed Aug 24 @ 12:37pm 
Enlighten us as to the effects of Canis Root Tea, please!
ravenshadow54 Aug 23 @ 4:43pm 
****WRONG MOD. SRY DID NOT MEAN TO COMMENT
ravenshadow54 Aug 23 @ 4:43pm 
Ach, I don't know why it did this to me, but it disabled my ability to create a new character and if I try to simply showracemenu in console commands and make one that way it freezes me in a sitting position and won't let me move......
Looks cool though
(I think it's just a mod conflict)
wowkid92 Aug 22 @ 1:17am 
Until It has chocolate milk, I aint subscribing to nothin'.
Michelangelo two-point oh! Aug 12 @ 2:01am 
Perfect for my kitty.
[ZG] [RR]callum Aug 10 @ 12:18am 
OMG BEST MOD EVER
Chi Aug 9 @ 1:52am 
What if we could get milk from our cows