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Unicorn Slayer 9000
 
 
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Platforms: PC, Mac, Linux
Languages: English
Players: Single-player
Posted
Updated
Aug 21, 2015 @ 10:21am
May 27, 2016 @ 4:27pm
Description
Release date: October 2015
It is the year 9000. Unicorns roam the lands. They pillage, plunder, and don't mind their manners. You are a Unicorn Slayer who has fallen from the sky. Clad in nothing but your wit, your mission is to find and slay the Unicorn Emperor. And maybe find some clothes.

An homage to 1980's text-based adventure games, Unicorn Slayer 9000 will bring you back to a simpler time. A time when players had to use the theater of the mind to visualize their games. A time when box art promised so much and the software inside delivered so little. A time when the purpose of a game was to frustrate you until you used your dad's credit card to call a 1-900 hint line.
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97 Comments
Insta Dec 1, 2015 @ 11:09am 
This is the most hllarious and original thing ever invented. It's so great, you deserve an award.



The award was unfortunately delayed, though. Eventually, you'll get it. Estimated year? 9000.
lol Sep 10, 2015 @ 2:43pm 
I know. I'm just exaggerated. :steamfacepalm:
Smarter Games  [author] Sep 10, 2015 @ 9:08am 
FinaleGamer, I know that reading can be hard for some. But I strongly urge you to ignore your snickering classmates keep at it!

Words can sometimes seem strange at first. For example, you might think that the word "no" has a ridiculous amount of O's. But it actually only has one! It's true, look it up!

Hang in there, champ!
lol Sep 9, 2015 @ 4:56pm 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate Text games.
it would been good, About 20 years ago.
Smarter Games  [author] Sep 7, 2015 @ 2:42pm 
Thank you Sharkal! May your future be lit with the glowing smiles of all your adoring fans. May your belly be full of only the finest tasting wines and cheeses (or hummus if you're vegan, I won't judge). May your bed be filled to all four bedposts with only the most beautiful women (or men, I still won't judge). And may your celebrations be merry with the company of your loved ones (or bronies, I might judge a little).
Shr00max Sep 4, 2015 @ 6:58am 
Smarter Games, thank you! Thank you for reminding me, that there is more to games than fancy graphics and infinite weapon upgrades. Thank you for making me laugh. May your future be lit with green light!
I am ready now to let unicorns into my life. And slay them. Or teach them some manners. But mostly the slaying part.
Smarter Games  [author] Aug 30, 2015 @ 1:16pm 
Frank, if you make that comment interesting, I will read it.
Squ1d Aug 29, 2015 @ 11:43pm 
If you make it a 2d or 3d game i would love that
Gana Aug 24, 2015 @ 8:48am 
:) Do that, I'll have my non-existent lawyer get right on it.
Looker Aug 24, 2015 @ 8:44am 
Many thanks, Smarter Games! :D