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In most video games, 'risk vs. reward' is incredibly important to your enjoyment. You wouldn't want to do an incredibly difficult boss/level, and turn up with no story, or even reward for the effort you put in.

In Delicious Emily's Hopes and Fears, you run a mile every day, and then watch toddlers talk to each other for a couple of seconds. And then you have to go back to running a mile.

We have stated in the past that we began our Gamehouse journey with "Sally's Salon: Kiss and Make Up". After playing a disappointing "Fabulous Angela's Fashion Fever", we wanted to go back to the series always highest on the pedestal in the minds of Gamehouse aficionados. The one that started it all...Delicious Emily. But we are not normal gamers. The only way to test that which is held to the highest standards, is to find the one that broke even true fans (or at the very least disappointed them).

But one cannot criticize a story without first criticizing the page it was written on. And thus we begin with the abhorrent gameplay.

Delicious Emily's Hopes and Fears begins with the now growing familiar time management setup, with too little explanation, but a simple enough premise in the end that it is playable once you get used to it. The music is the usual drawling piddle that loops for about 10 seconds, but is bearable. While some of what you're doing seems silly, it's not bad, all things considered.

Enter the Lumber Mill, the second level of the game.

In Fabulous Angela's Fashion Fever, I once complained about the "stocking" activities that are required for you to make certain products. You have to walk halfway across the map to get a feather or pebble in order to fashion a bracelet, etc.

It seems Gamehouse must have been listening through the walls, and actively designed the Lumber Mill with the intention of driving me mad.

The Lumber Mill has, at its most advanced level, 4 different types of wood that you are constantly required to stock in order to whittle objects that are expected from you within a few seconds, in addition to maintaining a restaurant. And just my luck, there is a several second delay between logs flowing down the channel of each variety, thus making stocking them in batches last minute nearly impossible. The impatience of these customers for on-demand whittling is horrific. Need I remind you that whittling is a skill that takes time, effort, resources, and skill that I, as a lowly sous chef, do not have the ability to do?

On top of my scrambling around for wood, the music is probably the most maddening thing I have ever heard. Yes, a 10 second loop as I suspected, of the most chipper Country Bear Jamboree tune actively deepening my seething rage.

The amount of times I had to reset a level simply because I hadn't stocked the wood right at the beginning, or the music was making me lose focus... I was Mozart at the piano dying of hair loss. At some point I had to turn the music off entirely and loop Imagine Dragons' "Friction" just to get it done, despite the fact that I hate Imagine Dragons as well.

Somehow, despite acting as if I was dealing with The Telltale Heart, I had made it to the flower shop.

You would think when a game tells you: "You can upgrade this!" that it would help you to upgrade said thing. Delicious Emily's Hopes and Fears spits in your face at that remark. I had done okay up to this point with upgrading my menu, with the occasional confused wrong order because I didn't notice tomatoes on a panini. But the flower shop really made me reconsider my abilities.

Even at its most basic level, the Sunflower Bouquet / all subsequent Bouquets are a headache. I am playing on a large ASUS monitor, NOT a phone, and I can't even see what I got wrong by the time I try and deliver the finished bouquet to the customer. Impossibly over-specific, and demanding, is what it is.

You might read all this and think me a wimp. A loser who can't handle a challenge. But when I broke the game looping a triple click on a yak's nipples, I think I have the right to complain.

Despite the challenges being technically optional, they are quite the opposite, if you think there to be any value in upgrading items, or upgrading your basic shop counters, tables, etc.

Frighteningly enough, this broken system was revealed to me in the Lumber Mill, when, stuck on perhaps the 3rd optional challenge level, I had already completely upgraded the entire shop and all menu items.

By the time you reach the monastery (God forbid), these challenges become more cynical, masochistic, if you will, to the point that you might very well have to look up Gamehouse's convoluted tip on their Youtube channel. At this point the task of completing the normal levels has already become so grueling that it's hard to say no to the extra help ( no matter how bad it is ).

And, if you're anything like me, you probably tried to get Paigey's presents for her, hoping you could glean any more from her life by doing so (which was a hopeless wish, I found).

Now. The story. What all the ashes tumbling down around you amount to.

Many others described this game's story as heartwarming, moving, fantastical, whimsical, even. I suppose I'd be inclined to agree--were I a three year old, and were it not for Patrick's adventures with foreign people.

The at home story with Paige, Emily, and co is about what you expect. Lukewarm, unnecessary fluff that is really more filler than it is story. Paige's mysterious illness is frankly laughable at times, especially if you've ever been to the hospital for any reason. It's almost random, this illness, the backbone of this stiff marshmallow of a plot. Emily is a flake, to be real. I don't know what she was like in the other games, but she puts up with too much of Patrick's B.S. for her to not be cheating on him already...but I guess that's just another Sally-flavored fantasy of mine. The most enjoyable characters are probably Francois, mostly for his cute little sprites trying to keep you awake, and the mother of Paige's little toddler friend, who provides some Sally-like comedic timing, even reminiscent of Dance Moms. But this isn't enough to keep my interest.

With the Lumber Mill being "more than whatever" in terms of story, the rest of Patrick's journey becomes what is blatantly incredibly offensive and insensitive. The most relatable or honest character is Tapeesa's father (until he starts sympathizing with the white man invading his native land). In the Inuit section of the game, there is not only incredibly strange stances on global warming, but the most toddler-friendly version of colonialism that I have ever witnessed. And guess what? It involves chocolate.

For some reason, I don't believe that "what if monks were funny" is really an idea that should ever have been explored. And that concludes the monk section.

On a pure logical standpoint, Patrick's journey makes no sense either on a map of the Earth. I'd really like to see how he drove from Minnesota to Alaska/and or Canada to Tibet (?). Of course this is all speculation, as no exact locations are ever given in clarity.

By what you think is the end of the story, once of course, Paigey's little Diseasey Weasy has been cured with a magic flower, and you want Patrick, Paige, and Emily dead, you still have to play 7 more torturous levels at a big pool party with all the Native people and monks and everyone's lives that you ruined! And that includes 2 challenge levels, because Lord knows Paigey needs her presents and you need the strength for the coming near-impossible levels.

If you're thinking about buying this game, and you aren't willing to torture yourself for 29 hours, just try Sally's Salon: Kiss and Make Up. At the very least the ridiculosity will make you laugh instead of scream.

What more is there to say, Emily?

Patricks don't belong in Alaska.

Let us preface this review by saying that our first introduction to the GameHouse catalog was Sally's Salon: Kiss and Make-Up. Perhaps everything in our lives will pale in comparison after that, but Angela's Fashion Fever felt especially disappointing.

First, the gameplay. It goes without saying that any game in this genre is inherently repetitive and simple. That's what we all come here for, isn't it? However, after the first chapter where Angela leaves her job at the repetitive time management boutique, there is no explained reason to continue working at repetitive time management boutiques all over the world. Yet she does, despite being in a high stakes intense fashion design competition that should be taking up all of her time.

Story reasons aside, certain aspects of the gameplay are never explained properly and often frustrating and confusing because of this. I'm looking at you, bird feathers in Rio and roses in Paris. You can't possibly try to explain to me why we're rubbing golden mica powder on a dress and making it gold every single time someone wants a gold dress. When it first came up, I spent an absurd amount of time trying to find the nonexistent ombre sunglasses in my store, only to realize that I must hand dip them myself. Enjoy the still wet paint, models!

Then there are the mandatory dress-making challenges you must endure each chapter in order to move on, while still having to run the boutique. These challenges are the only reason that I ever failed or had to restart a level. The box opening one in particular (which also makes no sense after chapter one, but I digress) where all of the materials fly everywhere and you have to pick them up one at a time throughout the course of the level but ONLY when it calls for a certain item, is EXTREMELY terrible. Even pausing the game and trying to look for the item covers up half of the screen, so you can't even cheat properly. Sometimes you pick up the item it called for, and by the time you put it on the mannequin, it is no longer the item it called for. And if you have extra hired help or lots of customers in the store, it is even more impossible to find the items called for, because half the time the people will cover up the useless item you need. The other challenges are annoying at best but never as bad as this one.

The espresso machine in Milan was the only gimmick in the game that attempted to have anything to do with the location you were supposed to be in. The dress choices, specifically in Tokyo and Rio, felt like strange cliches that had nothing to do with the appearance of the dress, and only added to the lack of cohesion in theming.

As for the sad excuse of a story in this game, one can describe it no better than too little butter spread over too much bread. This game is an excessive 90 levels long, with 29 of these levels being levels that do not unlock any story scenes whatsoever, yet are mandatory. That's almost a full third of the game that is just empty. As you might imagine, this is where the problem of pacing begins and ends. After each grueling level with something behind it, you are lucky to unlock maybe a full thirty seconds of story, if that.

As for the contents of those thirty seconds, well, they are weak, predictable, and uninspiring. The reality show itself uses almost exactly the same assignment every single time. Almost as if it's a reflection of how the romantic plot never goes anywhere and just stays at a vague romantic feeling kind of. The other contestants of the show make a dress each time that corresponds to their color scheme while still being somewhat different from the last one. These other contestants all participate in the story events at least a little bit before they are kicked off. All but my favorite shining star, Yuna. If I'm not mistaken, I believe she made the same dress, every single time. And never said a single word or took any sides in conversation, made it all the way to the end, and said one sentence before she was kicked off. And if that doesn't tell you something about the missed opportunities in this game, I don't know what will.

One of the main selling points of this game was Angela's angel VS devil system. However, this was very disappointing. What we thought might have been some kind of player choice or dialogue system is simply her internal dialogue about the situation. She never acts on either thought, though. You cannot make Angela satan, and you cannot make her an otherworldly being of goodness. And the game doesn't make her that either. She simply rests at the level of good samaritan while being a plainly horrible person to most people around her. Angela wrecks lifelong friendships with no consequences. Angela is easily swayed by the thought of fame and/or sex. However, she shows compassion towards the little Italian girl and Victoria at the tail end of the game. I couldn't tell you why.

Speaking of things I couldn't tell you, the villain of this game is but a skeleton of what they could have been. Unlike in Sally, the villain's motivation is never clear or explained, and it's even more unclear whether or not this villain is. Was there ever a Truly? Is this the only Truly? Was Truly murdered? Will there ever be a Truly? There are many questions left to us, and not in the way we ever want to be left them. Our heroine Angela herself gets a literal thirty seconds of resolution at the end that doesn't resolve anything, including the entire "will we, won't we" romantic plot that kicked off almost all events in the game. It feels cut off like an umbilical cord, rushed despite the plot never going anywhere.

If you are considering buying this game and have not played Sally's Beauty Salon: Kiss and Make Up, please change your mind and play that one instead. Because in Fabulous - Angela's Fashion Fever, there is no victory, no defeat.

This is my first GameHouse game. I came across it whilst perusing on Steam for Diner Dash-like games, being a major fan of those types of games since my childhood. What enticed me to pick this particular one up was a review mentioning the sheer insanity of the plot. It did not disappoint.
In terms of gameplay, it does what it's supposed to do well enough. Some minigames are poorly explained and often, it feels like there's just a little too much to do. I must say I still prefer the Diner Dash setup of my youth. The levels never really feel like a challenge once you get used to the setup, despite every level having a baseless "challenge".
However.
The gameplay hardly matters in comparison to the spontaneous, outrageous story. It is by no means a well written or well constructed story. But everything is so unpredictable and out of nowhere that the story becomes a hilarious motivation to get you through the game. You grow to love even the most annoying of characters. Despite some questionable story choices- redeeming a murderous cop, strange representation of mental illness, a weird amount of sexuality, certainly some violence against animals, etc.- it remains a very entertaining and compelling experience. If you're looking for a kind of bad in a good way game, absolutely pick this up. If you're looking for a well written GameHouse story, I don't know what to tell you.
Or, if you were disappointed by Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, this story offers some similar themes and maybe even does them better.

i got killed by a robotic cat and that was the best part of the game

♥♥♥♥ lou lou

punk pigeons called punkgeons

10/10 would bird pun again