64
Products
reviewed
0
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Tildy

< 1  2  3  4  5  6  7 >
Showing 1-10 of 64 entries
1 person found this review helpful
19.9 hrs on record
A little short and scant for an "open-world" game, but I'm sure anyone who enjoyed the original Robocop will enjoy this. I played on Normal and it wasn't too difficult, though I struggled a little with the ED-209 fights--the last boss fight was actually easier in comparison, as I had the dash upgrade and could just flee.

The story was a little weak. I don't understand why Wendell left Robocop behind after glitching him out in the warehouse. He'd already told him about the chip allowing him to cause the glitches in the first place, and he had to know the police would find him if he just left him there. Nor do I understand why he left the lighter behind, only to have an identical one made later. I don't know, it seemed silly to me, and not in the traditional satirical way.

There were a few mechanics that seemed kinda one-and-done for reasons I didn't understand. The nightvision, for instance, which you're not even taught how to do (at least that I remembered) until near the end of the game, and the signal tracking, which would have made sense later when you're tracking the New Guy toward the end of the game. Instead, you're just given a map point and told to follow it.

The game did make me laugh, which I appreciate. The animation when you kill someone with a groin shot was funny, and the back and forth with Pickles, and some of the references to the original movies ("B*tches, come!").
Posted February 24. Last edited February 24.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
1 person found this review helpful
2.7 hrs on record (2.7 hrs at review time)
This game: features an order of hooded people protecting the unknowing with runic designs that do magic things as they sneak around on rooftops.

Me: Thief? You are Thief? Keepers? Glyphs? Extensive level design pushing you to deal with your problems nonviolently as you save the world once more?

This game: ...No.
Posted December 2, 2023.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
2.6 hrs on record
Decent enough Artifex Mundi game. A little buggy, specifically related to objects and achievements--notably, it gave me the achievement for finishing all hidden object scenes w/o using a hint before I had completed all the scenes. Also, I could not for the life of me tell the difference between the male characters. The killer is revealed as... oh my god! Some dude!
Posted March 25, 2023.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
11.1 hrs on record
Fun, if kinda short. At long last my desire to knife the Outsider has been fulfilled!
Posted January 7, 2023.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
2 people found this review helpful
4.8 hrs on record
Not a very strong game. The English translation is really weird, like they just ran it through a translator and never looked back. The story couldn't hold my attention, so I can't rightfully say it didn't make sense. The characters are sketchy looking, and "noir" doesn't really describe this game. The hidden object scenes were dull and there were so many minigames that were just "blindly poke buttons while hoping you poke them in the right order." That's not even really a game. It's a slog.
Posted July 15, 2022.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
44.3 hrs on record (42.0 hrs at review time)
So we have the conflict between a nature-based pagan group and a machinery-based religious order. We have a small map to explore before heading out on missions. We're encouraged to steal everything that's not nailed down. The male lead is voiced by Stephen Russell.

This is Thief 3 again. It's literally Thief 3.

Okay, not literally, but enough that I'm damn sure there were Looking Glass fans on this project. I remember reading somewhere that when SR read for the part they all looked up and said, "That's him. That's Corvo." But you can't fool me. That part was written for him, right down to the flippant "It's a long way down" line in the opening mission.

What else can I say? It was a good game. I enjoyed having the option to forgo powers entirely, because the Outsider is obnoxious and every time he opened his gob my brain went "I want that twink obliterated." I played a high-chaos Emily playthrough and it cracked me up to see her begging Jessamine's spirit to stay and the spirit going, "Ew... no. Just no." and then hecking off to the great beyond. Also funny was hearing Corvo say my name over and over. "I'd better get back to Meagan." Damn straight, Corvo. You're my dad now.
Posted April 24, 2022.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
63.5 hrs on record
This is it. This is what the Arkham series has been leading up to. And it's... it's okay, I guess?

It's a good game. Nowhere near as buggy as Origins was. I'm sure other people loved being able to drive the Batmobile/tank around, but as soon as it entered gameplay I knew I would be causing massive amounts of property damage. The voice acting was probably the best part--Kevin Conroy is Batman, because obviously, Mark Hamill is having more fun than a barrel of cannibal monkeys, Wally Wingert (playing the Riddler) cracked me up all the time (from one of the game over scenes: "I killed the bat? I mean, ha! Of course I did!" He just sounds so blown away). And while the villain game-over screens mostly just irritated me, the screen where Martin Jarvis as Alfred vows to make sure you are never forgotten made me swear to never let down the narrator of Huxley Pig ever again.

A friend of mine said that Arkham Knight wanted to do a hundred different Batman stories and did them all poorly, and I can see that. There are a few side quests that have any significant length, but a lot of them are artificially broken up by long periods where you're "waiting for more information" before you can continue, which only barely helps hide the fact that they're absurdly short. The Man-Bat side quest was especially egregious--you find Langstrom's lab, dive-bomb the Man-Bat a few times (you don't even fight him; he's just out for an evening flight and you bat-punch him out of the sky), and haul his naked a** back to GCPD.

Part of the story is on how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Bruce is to his cohorts, which is ironic given how the game isn't much better. Barbara spends most of her screentime as a damsel in distress, with only two real badass moments (one where she flings herself from a moving vehicles, knowing she'll still get recaptured, just to leave Batman a clue, and once where she uses her hacking skills to tag-team with him in her own way). Tim spends most of the game in a basement, and Jason... we don't talk about Jason.

I liked the story-based DLCs better than the actual story. The Red Hood one was hilarious because after hours of playing as Batman silently choking out people in stealth missions, you just whip out a gun and waste some dude.

Finally, they do have Conroy deliver The Line. You know, the Batman line, the quintessential line that nobody can ever forget. The one that isn't "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb." It's the climax of the story and Bruce, at his lowest point, looks into the villain's eyes and says, "I am fear. I am the night. I am Batman." But iirc he says it to the Joker, which... hello? Scarecrow is literally right there? Would that not be thematically more appropriate, and also more precise nod to the TAS episode?
Posted April 24, 2022.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
2 people found this review helpful
4.7 hrs on record
I mean, it's functional, which is more than other games like this I've played. But as far as gameplay, it's just not my thing. The sound design can be really obnoxious (there's a room right at the beginning of the game where no matter what you do you have to listen to basically a 10-second loop of terrible crying noises, and the voice acting is very hit and miss), the gameplay is perfunctory at times (you have to get into character's minds by turning off distractions around them, which amounts to closing a window and turning off a computer tablet. not sure why you couldn't stick the tablet in a drawer or something), the maps aren't terribly interesting and you can only see two or maybe three of them at a time, and the story doesn't so much happen as the main character tells us that it's happened and we have to just go along with it.

I got this as part of the publisher's bundle, but I wouldn't recommend buying it individually.
Posted March 15, 2022.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3.3 hrs on record
People straight-up die onscreen in this one, yo. Interesting game, pretty atmospheric, and I like the concept of the detective scenes, where you find various clues and string them together in a narrative, but a lot of them feel unnecessarily padded (is it really necessary to visualize a guy tripping over a curtain, a vase, and a chair, all in the same scene?) and/or just kind of absurd (how do we figure the snake guy ate whatever was in the jar? and why was it important?).
Spoilers: one thing I really don't understand is why they start out with the battered corpse of a person we, the protagonist character, supposedly know, and then have all the major characters survive. The villain escapes and survives, our kidnapped reporter friend survives (and I don't understand why she was kidnapped in the first place--wouldn't it have been easier to just have a snake-creature maul her and not have to worry about it?), and of course the protagonist survives. The thing is, the villain has the protagonist at their mercy about two thirds of the way through the game and is like, "Oh, I can't kill you yet, for I still have plans for you," and then a few puzzles later decides that they should probably just murder you now. Still, for one of these types of games, the story was for the most part pretty solid.
Posted November 22, 2021.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
37.3 hrs on record
It's a good game. Still playable after all this time, so that's great. I still feel like a yokel tourist wandering around Plaguetown 90% of the time. In theory you don't need to know anything about Witcher canon to play the game (I mean, Geralt has amnesia, so he also has only the vaguest idea of what's going on), but in practice it probably helps.

I remember hearing a review that said this game had kind of a pokemon-card-collecting aspect where you hump ladies for a bit and then they give you a card of them imitating poses they found on The Hawkeye Initiative[thehawkeyeinitiative.tumblr.com], but I got clear to Swamplandia before it occurred to me that wait, was I supposed to have amnesia sex with the recently head-injured sorceress and the random villager who liked tulips and the babysitter I found for this random prophet child? Even running around with asexual!Geralt was no guarantee of safety from oversexed ladies--nobody has ever heard of sunburn or back pain in Plaguetown and if you're not careful you'll get your eye poked out by an unsecured breast.

I never made it all the way through the game--once it became clear that my options were to side with a slightly reasonable if imperialistic knight bastard, thereby dooming my nonhuman friends to bloody deaths, side with my friends, causing the knight bastard to get radicalized and become an even more murderous monster that causes even more bloody deaths, or side with nobody as befits a Witcher and watch the worst of both other choices happen simultaneously, I realized there was a fourth option: turn the game off and play something that doesn't make me sad and/or skeeved out.
Posted September 4, 2021.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
< 1  2  3  4  5  6  7 >
Showing 1-10 of 64 entries