Kobra
Southlake, Texas, United States
 
 
One day, I was lost, playing on my dirty PesantBox and PesantStation. Then, in a glorious flash of light and warmth and epicness, Saint Gaben came to me and said, "Son, you are lost. You are not a Peasant, condemed to video games in only 480 and 720. You are not limited to the evil boxes that you play on now." I said to Saint Gaben, "But what can I use to play my games, if not my console?" Saint Gaben raised his hands to the sky, and down from the Heavens decended a device I had heard only rumors of, The PC. It was said that with this machine, men would transform to a far better human. The Master Race. With this transfered to my mortal hands, Saint Gaben said, " You are now part of the new race. The one true race. Your mission, the same I have given to those before you and the one I will give to those after, is simple: You must help convert those who are not believers of the PC to believers." I, struck with the quest, quickly accepted the great honor. Then Saint Gaben flew off in a golden light, off to convert more of the darkness of the Console World to PC.

Not only is Gaben alpha as ♥♥♥♥ on a behavioral level, but he is also handsome and a genius who is crucibles higher than most normal men. His body, while it appears to be rather large around the abdominal region, is trained and hardened to levels usually only seen in Olympic athletes or United States special operations forces. I once saw Gaben disarm a would-be assassin sent by Electronic Arts. He moved swiftly, like a panther ambushing an autistic chimpanzee. The only reason you can post ♥♥♥♥ about Gaben on the internet is due to his alpha as ♥♥♥♥ personality and his practically endless amount of altruism and forgiveness. The man himself suffers personally due to the heavy burden placed on his shoulders as savior of modern man. It's through pure force of will that Gaben drives on to protect us from things that most normal men would ♥♥♥♥ themselves just hearing about it. Gaben will lead us to the promised land and when he does, you'll learn just how ignorant and foolish you are.
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