a guy walks into a bar and orders a tequilla. He looks over at the guy next to him and sees the guy drink a shot and jumps out the window. the man was shocked. he was even more shocked wen the same guy came back in the room. Amazed the guy says how did u do that. The man replies i just drink a shot jump out the window and it slows me down. So the man tries it he orders a shot and jumped out the window. SPLAT.The bartender says superman ur a real ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ when ur drunk

okay, 3 girls in a bar, all friends for a girls night out, after a few drinks and random conversation one girl brag's about how loose she is and says, "im so loose, i can fit 3 fingers in myself", the girl next to her says, "oh yea? im so loose, i can fit my hole fist in", then, the 3rd starts laughing, as shes sliding down the bar stool

A very wealthy man enjoyed to walk around town naked. since he had so much money, he paid the police to let him keep doing it, as long as when someone walked up to him he had to act like a statue. so when 3 blondes came walkin down, he freezed. the first one says "Oh look, a vending machine!" she then put a coin in his mouth and pulled his penis. when nothing happened, she got angry. the same happened to the second blonde. the third blonde tried to pull more times. "look, I got some soap

A man enters the bedroom with a goat in his arms to find his wife laying in the bed

"Look, dear", he says, "this is the cow I have sex with when you're sick"

The wife says: "If you weren't so stupid, you'd realize that that is a goat"

"Well, if YOU weren't that stupid, you'd realize I was talking to the goat"

A cop pulls over a Mexican and the cop says "I thunk your an illeagle immagrant." and the mexicans says "No no, American citezen Amerian citizen!" And the cops says "Ok use the words green, pink and yellow is one sentance and in that order."

Mexican goes "Ok, My phone green i pink it up, i say yellow

A cop pulls over a Mexican and the cop says "I thunk your an illeagle immagrant." and the mexicans says "No no, American citezen Amerian citizen!" And the cops says "Ok use the words green, pink and yellow is one sentance and in that order."

Mexican goes "Ok, My phone green i pink it up, i say yellow

The teacher asks Little Johnny "Which body part goes to heaven first?"

Little Johnny replies "The feet miss"

So the teacher says "Why the feet?"

And Little Johnny says "Because when I go in my mummys bedroom at night she has her legs in the air shouting 'Oh my God I'm coming'"