742 people found this review helpful
775 people found this review funny
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Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 0.0 hrs on record
Posted: Oct 26, 2014 @ 11:08pm
Updated: Mar 21, 2015 @ 11:07am

Day 11
I attempted to track a Koalefant to aquire it's meat. A different beast entirely met me at the end of the trail, one with fangs rather than tusks but just as big as my intended quarry. The Varg.

It howled, summoning hounds to it's side in an attempt to overwhelm me with numbers. It worked, forcing me to flee rather than be eaten alive. A nearby swamp containing tentacles and fish people made for the perfect terrain to lose the pursuing animals, allowing me to escape while I could still fight lesser beasts without succumbing to my wounds. I continued through the swamp, away from my camp grounds and towards new land.

Day 12
I have found salvation. After replacing my log armor and spear I ventured toward some strange area that reminded me of elaborate and lavish chess boards. The playing pieces here move under their own malicious will, attacking me as I draw near. Where they had programmed behavior I had drive and purpose; gears littered the ground rather than my own blood. The marble trees gave me an idea, prompting me to harvest them. In the middle of this area was a small garden of strange flowers. Looking at them put me on edge, making me almost look away before I noticed an odd detail; they were planted in the shape of a large W... or maybe an M? I left a nearly broken helmet nearby, hoping that whoever investigates this strange garden later will be inclined to investigate further; hopefully being more pleasant than either the plants or their gaurds when he or she arrives.

Day 13 - Morning
I've returned to my camp after sneaking around the Varg while it and it's pack slept in the night. This marble I bring back is heavy in my backpack but it will serve me well after I take a few choice pieces and strap them onto myself like armor. Along with a new helmet I am a slow but sturdy fighting machine. Hopefully I can either drive off the Varg or, failing that, end the beast.

Day 13 - Afternoon
I plunged the blade of my spear into the beasts eye, penetraing the brain and finally downing the violent creature. It's pack had grown in the night but they too fell to the blows I delivered. I almost traded places with them, barely clinging to life as I gave one final thrust and instead claimed their corpses rather then giving them my own. Their meat is tainted; I leave it to rot. The teeth I claim, maybe for some new contraption to help fight off creatures similar to this one. Something tells me that this will not be the worst of what that tall man has in store for me.

The birchnuts have gone red and yellow. A chill is moving in. I feel like I've merely won a single battle in what will surely be a long war against nature itself. I refuse to be beaten. I will not be made to die in this mad place.

I will not starve.

Day 14
Accidentally ate Monster Meat and died. 10/10
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24 Comments
αrcher (currently recording) Feb 4, 2023 @ 10:01pm 
that one moment when your mouse hovers over a monster meat and you somehow manage to accidentally right-click with dangerously precise timing
R' Dec 17, 2021 @ 1:22pm 
Great review :6face:
Mortius Dec 1, 2021 @ 2:13am 
this isnt a review, reported.
Pure-Blue Nov 22, 2021 @ 7:27am 
the fact you died before winter...thats what hits me the most
elginred Nov 21, 2021 @ 12:34pm 
this is actually good writing tho
Takogames Oct 25, 2020 @ 10:34am 
OOF
natusz109 Dec 24, 2016 @ 9:08pm 
Impressive, intensely, entertaining. I was on the edge of my seat reading paragraph after paragraph.
Cerket Oct 7, 2016 @ 4:35pm 
This is amazing.
Squidington Apr 19, 2015 @ 8:52pm 
I literlly almont cried of laughter after reading that thal line XD
sisyphus Mar 21, 2015 @ 5:35am 
One does not simply flee from Hounds.