I have only had 2 great loves in my life. Chicago deep dish pizza, and free chicago deep dish pizza.

I'm an active member of the Fallen Soldiers of Christ's War On Gays and Latinos, we meet every Tuesday at Walmart

As the black man climbs out of a cave he holds a KFC value bucket treasured more then the crystal skulls.
-Monte

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm.
- George Carlin

I have something to confess that has been haunting me my entire life. When I was 7 years old, I was attacked by a rogue pancake.

Sorry, I was working today, Please ask tomorrow :3