Kill Me!

We am Gardlock, a wizard. I have invented a cult called "The Alliance of Evil Mages". I only have two rules. You must paint your face dark red and wear all black. Your hair must be coated in the blood of a zebra. A baboon also works but you must die it green, to represent loyalty and courage. Here we will use spells and potions to stop the evil orcs and elfs attacking our US&a! They already stole Obama, and now they are after every little black kid in the world! We must stop them! If you join now you will get a free spell. You can either choose the force field spell or the telekinesis spell. I have chose both because I am superior to all of you in terms of spell-casting.