It's not a boat. It's a yacht!
Do you enjoy playing first person shooters? Yes? Cool, so do we. Do you enjoy being stealthy with a sniper rifle, hiding in bushes for the perfect opportunity to not help your team mates? Yes? Then you sir, are a catfish.
Here at the anti-catfish society, we promote helpful team play, not wookie loving, dont-look-at-me-I'm-a-bush, useless camping samsquanchery. If your not sure whether you're a catfish or not, just read our simple guide to all things nub:
- Do you like to hide in bushes because your scared of getting shot?
- Do you do an awesome Anne Frank impression, lurking in the attic?
- Do you do an awesome Osker the Grouch impression, lurking in dumpsters?
- Do you wear a ghillie suit to formal occasions?
- Do you whine at getting RPG'd in the face?
- Can I faclon pawnch you into the ceiling?
- Do you see the world through the tunnel vision of a sniper scope?
- Has World of Warcraft even been installed on your computer, on the computer of anyone you know, or on any computer within a 500m radius of you?
- Have you ever been to the cantina on Mos Eisley?
- Do you pay for chicken sandwiches and waffle fries?
- Are you on first-name terms with the barrista in you local Starbucks?
- Do you wear sunglasses indoors?
- Have you ever uttered the words 'Justin' or 'Beiber' in anything but a derogatory way?
- Do you see peoples names floating above their heads in real life?
- Do you urinate in your own garden?
- Is your name Maddog?
If you answered yes to any of these, then you are a catfish. But don't worry! We are here to help! See our head of Human Resources, Marc the Conger Eel, to apply for your membership card today, and be transformed from a lowly, bottom-feeding catfish into a pro noob, who occasionally takes 5 minutes break from pruning his camo to help out his team mates!
Your Mate Sw!fty (Regional Head)