Left 4 Dead Professionals ONLY! (No Noobs)

This is a group where only the best Left 4 Dead players can experience a great game without Noobs or Team Player Killers.
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*A pro can single handily take out all 3 special infected without getting incapped or boomed on.
*Should have ZERO Friendly Fire accidents (1-2) accidents are an exception, pills are ideal to give to victim.
*Is able to rescue all 3 survivors and not get incapped or killed.
*Can take out a tank without getting incapped or killed and prevent other team members from getting incapped or killed.
*Can crown the witch without getting killed in the process.
*Can beat almost all campaigns in an hour or less.
*Is able to make a sacrifice and not complain about it.
*Lastly nobody is left behind!!!