I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the termite that devours your floorboards, I am the surprise in your cereal box, I am the batteries that are not included, I am the headache in the criminal mind, I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3am, I am the raspberry seed you can't floss out, I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul, I am the onion that stings in your eye, I am a special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show, I am the scourge that pecks at your nightmares, I am the hairball that clogs your drains, I am the low ratings that cancel your program, I am the auditor that wants to look at your books, I am the slug that slimes your begonias, I am the bubble gum that sticks in your hair, I am the itch you cannot reach, I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters, I am the jailer who throws away the key, I am the ten dollar service charge on all returned checks.

I am Darkwing Duck.

Let's get dangerous