Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, and brains save both

David svensson

Karlstad, Varmlands Lan, Sweden 

A Communist died and since he was a honest man albeit atheist, he was sentenced to rotate spending one year in Hell and one year in Heaven. One year passed and Satan said to God : "Take this man as fast as possible, because he turned all my young demons into Young Pioneers, I have to restore some order." Another year passed, Satan meets God again and tells him : "Lord God, it's my turn now." God replied : "First of all, don't call me Lord God, but instead Comrade God; second, there is no God; and one more thing - don't distract me or I'll be late to the Party meeting."

Officer falls asleep on a duty, right in front of the "red button"/ Colonel comes in and officer reports: "During the duty nothing's happened, sir"/ "Nothing's happened, you say? Nothing's happened?! Then where the hell is Belgium?!!"


Midnight Petrograd... A night watch spots a shadow trying to sneak by. "Stop! Who goes there? Documents!" The frightened person chaotically shuffles through his pockets and drops a paper. A soldier picks it up and reads slowly, with difficulty: "U.ri.ne A.na.ly.sis"... "Hmm... a foreigner, sounds like..." "A spy, looks like.... Let's shoot him on the spot!" Then reads further: "'Proteins: none, Sugars: none, Fats: none...' You are free to go, proletarian comrade! Long live the World revolution!"

An old woman stands in the market with a "Chernobyl mushrooms for sale" sign. A man goes up to her and asks, "Hey, what are you doing? Who's going to buy Chernobyl mushrooms?" And she tells him, "Why, lots of people. Some for their boss, others for their mother-in-law..."

No man ever won a war by dying for his country. Wars were won by making the other poor bastard die for his.

our bombs are very, very accurate. they´re always guaranted to hit the ground!

At -10 degrees Celsius, heating is switched on in British homes, while Finns change into a long-sleeved shirt. At -20 Austrians fly to Malaga, while Finns celebrate midsummer. At -200 hell freezes over and Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest. At -273 absolute zero temperature is reached, all atom movement ceases. The Finns shrug and say: "Perkele, a bit chilly today, isn't it?"[

Red Orchestra - Public

2,104 Members  |  155 In-Game  |  475 Online  |  0 In Group Chat

Welcome in Red Ochestra Group

Red Orchestra my life!

Visit Red Orchestra's profile

Darkest Hour: Normandy 1944 - Public

1,598 Members  |  147 In-Game  |  424 Online  |  0 In Group Chat

Mare Nostrum

499 Members  |  36 In-Game  |  126 Online  |  0 In Group Chat

View all 7 groups