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maximumfirepower

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Dan G.

Jamestown, New York, United States

> The Ant and The Grasshopper OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the
> withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up
> supplies for
> the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and
> dances and
> plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
> The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

>
> MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
> long,
> building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
> grasshopper
> thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
> away.
> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
> while
> others are cold and starving.CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to
> provide pictures of the
> shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
> with at the table
> filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.How can this
> be, that in a country of such wealth,
> this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>
> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
> cries
> when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a
> demonstration in front
> of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We
> shall overcome." Jesse then
> has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper' s sake.
>
> Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
> the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
> for
> an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
>
> Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
> retroactive to the
> beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a
> proportionate number of
> green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
> home is
> confiscated by the government.
>
> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> defamation
> suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
> judges that Bill Clinton appointed
> from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
>
> The ant loses the case.
>
> The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
> the
> ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
> the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
>
> The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
> drug
> related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
> of
> spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote