47 of 84 people (56%) found this review helpful
243 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 8.3 hrs on record
Posted: Mar 11, 2016 @ 1:41pm

Early Access Review
Two Sports Announcers Watching Brawlhalla for the first time:

FRED: Well Ted, it looks like some sort of spaceman is standing next to a big cow.
TED: Fred, I'm pretty sure that is a robot fighting a Minotaur.
FRED: Exactly, Ted. Cow vs. Spaceman, and let's not forget the Japanese fellow or the lady with the face tattoos.
TED: Again, Fred, we are looking at Robot vs. Minotaur vs. Samurai vs. Aztec Warrior, should be quite the interesting match-up.
FRED: And it looks like they are standing on some platforms...will there be any action? OH, they just dropped out of the sky! And it's on! Cowman picked up an axe. It's like I always say FRED, never trust a cow with an axe.
TED: When have you said that?
FRED: And there's the Spaceman, whoa! He just grabbed a spear! Watch out, aliens. This astronaut is♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
TED: It's a ROBOT! What about his machine-like body looks like an astronaut to you?
FRED: OH, cowman just slapped astro-sparta in the face with his axe, but he's up. And he's about to stab himself a piece of rare sirloin.
TED: AND A BOMB GOES OFF IN THE STADIUM! Here comes the Aztec warrior with a blast of some sort of magic.
FRED: Face-tattoo is waving those spike fists around like she's at a Lady Gaga concert. Man, angry women sure do scare me, Ted. Talk about un-pre-dictable. OH! And she's hit the small Japanese fellow, and he's falling off the stage like Harry Styles.
TED: Yeah, that kid went "one direction"...
FRED: You mean down? Like down off the stage?
TED: Yes, Fred. That's what I mean.
FRED: OH! And the Japanese boy is back on! What a jump. Man, Asian people are amazing!
TED: Fred, I'm pretty sure you can't say that. And that's a fully grown Samurai man.
FRED: Why can't I say that Asian people are amazing? Have you seen Jet Li? Jackie Chan? Name a white guy who can do that stuff...
TED: Racism, ladies and gentlemen, racism...
FRED: Whoa, I am sorry that I am complimenting 2 billion people. "Apologies" 2 billion amazing Asians, my co-host apparently doesn't think you're anything special. And... OH! The spaceman was just SMACKED in the face by that awesome Japanese sword. And....HE'S DOWN! He fell off that stage like that kid from One Direction.
TED: Harry Styles? You just said that....
FRED: OH. Mr. Japanese is taking on the cow while tat-face finds another weapon! Go mista Japanese!
TED: *face palm* Fred, let me take over...the Minotaur is striking back, jumping, dodging, jumping, striking! It's close now. The Aztec warrior is back in, slinging her magic!
FRED: AND THE JAPANESE MAN SAYS "ARIGATO" TO MOO-FACE. MOO-FACE IS DOWN!
TED: Arigato means "thank you"
FRED: Yep, thanks for trying, cow. YOU GOT OWNED! IN THE FAAACE. IN THE FAAAAAAACE!
TED: It's down to the Aztec and the Samurai. It's close, they are neck and neck. The samurai has switched to his bow and arrow, the Aztec has her spike-fists. The Aztec is down, she's jumping back, she's going to grab the ledge...
FRED: AND THE ASIANS WIN THE DAY! Ninja-boy does it! Ink-face was just about to grab on and he got her with a spot on arrow shot! This, of course, just proves to my co-host and all you Asian-haters out there, that Asian people really are superior to...
TED: That concludes our first stream of Brawlhalla. Please excuse any offensive stereotypes about...
FRED: SAYONARA! HAI-DOZO! ARIGATO! NEE-HAU!
TED: Are you just saying random things in Japanese? I'm pretty sure that last one was Chinese. You know those are two different countries?
FRED: ASIAN SENSATION DOMINA-

*STREAM ENDED*

11/10 Would tune-in next week.

Check out ZeeModernNerd Blog[zeemodernnerdblog.wordpress.com] for the full review.
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10 Comments
Goomy Jun 1, 2016 @ 10:07pm 
I was fred during my first 15 or so hours.
I mained Bodvar and named him 'God of Death and Destruction' until i realised there was already a death person
Gaen Apr 3, 2016 @ 8:31pm 
Brilliant review xD Is there a VoD of this stream? Seems like a great watch, and the announcers sound hillarious :D if so somebody link me please <3
Swarley Apr 1, 2016 @ 9:33pm 
WOOOoooooOOOOOoOOOOOOooW Ten oUTA tEn
TeraBYTC Mar 25, 2016 @ 1:27pm 
*Slow Clap....* Can I even...? No? Alright, fine. *Continues to slow cap.*
Lopunny Omega Mar 17, 2016 @ 3:24pm 
Ten outta ten
Ditcher Mar 16, 2016 @ 12:23pm 
King of reviews!!!!!!!!!!!
GlassPoo Mar 16, 2016 @ 1:37am 
This review just gave me life. Why can't all games have commentary like this.
Stupid Cunt Mar 15, 2016 @ 11:44pm 
Lmao
foe.alibi Mar 14, 2016 @ 9:41am 
best shit i've ever read
{Neko} Rawr :3 Mar 12, 2016 @ 6:09pm 
v-v
Dat review tho
200/10 would fap again