Nerf the fucking fish already!!!???

To: Valve Corporation

Valve, we've all been waiting impatiently for the Polycount update, but nevertheless we all have been expecting this update to be well balanced.
But none of us expected you to make such a huge mistake as implementing cruel, vicious and severely overpowered Holy Mackerel.

Points at note here are:

1. It is incredibly humiliating to be hit by a huge fish, wrapped in faded newspaper with a rubber band.
2. The fear of being hit and humiliated by a player with a mackerel in front of the teammates forces most of the player to hide and stay at the respawn area. And yet, the Holy Mackerel catches them after the round end.
3. The motivation to humiliate instantly increases the player's concentration and reaction speed, therefore gives him an unfair advantage over the other players.
4. The smell of rotten fish is just awful.

So we hereby demand you to:

1. Reduce the amount of humiliation that people have to endure while being hit.
2. Make the old, rotten mackerel look fresh and nice and wrap it in last New York Times issue instead of a faded newspaper so getting hit by a fish will become less unpleasant.
3. Remove the horribly belittling strings "FISH HIT!" and "FISH KILL!" that give so much motivation to whack someone with Holy Mackerel.

If you find any of these points to be true, then SIGN this petition! If enough people sign, maybe we can get our voices heard by Valve!

Sincerely,

The Undersigned