ATTTENNNNNSIOOON!!

Now hear this, you blood-hungry sons of war!

As of oh-nine-hundred Eastern Standard time, we are at WAR with the DEMOMAN! That one-eyed bagpipe-playing sonofabitch has been a thorn in our collective sides for long enough! For THIS WEEK ONLY, each and every man brave enough to fight under the Soldier banner will be KILLING DEMOS!

Gentlemen, there comes a time in a man’s life when when HE MUST DRAW LINES! Friendship is FINE for tea parties and shopping trips to the dress store! But when the chips are down, a soldier puts ASIDE friendship for the good of WAR!

Every Demoman gutted, garroted, exploded or otherwise killed by a Soldier will mean a POINT for the Soldier Team! At the end of this week, when the points are tallied AND WE ARE FOUND TO HAVE MORE, we will be awarded an EXCLUSIVE ONE-OF-A-KIND WEAPON.

Gentlemen, I have NO IDEA what this weapon is. I don’t even know if I’ll WANT it. But BY GOD, I know what’s IMPORTANT, and it’s that WE get it and the DEMOMAN DOES NOT.

Am I understood? Then get out there and KILL!