Too busy watching paint dry to help you

In our group, our goal is to be as useless as possible. We try our HARDEST at not even trying. Feel like you have the material we're looking for? Be useless and Join up!

TF2 Statistics-
Number of teleports taken as Scout- 80085
Number of Snipers/Spies/Engineers ubered- 987897678964698747868746847whyareyoustillreading45498413519849819685198191leetsauce2354820571085416798483967238573319402867296938
Number of burning allies ignored- 521
Number of people screaming at one of us - 2.5(counter needed a restart)
Number of spawns defended- 824
Number of Heavies punching sentries- 1337
(The Sentry punched me)
Number of SUCESSFUL heavies punching sentries-31337
Number of spies watched sapping allied buildings- 104
Number of Snipers that use the SMG at long range instead of the sniper - 01134
Number of Spies that cloak infront of enimies - 304
Number of times Mobo/Sky has been told to stop being useless - *Fatal Error has occured*
Number of times we've forgot to update this - 9001-1
Number of Spies Uber'd - 3698
Number of Demoknights slain - 26
Number of Sentry guns charged and then cleaved in twain - 2
Number of times Bonk! Energy drink has become useful - Negative 2

Left 4 Dead Statistics:
Number of Survivors TK'd - 268
Number of molotovs thrown toward teamates - 2985
Number of Times jumping off Mercy Hospital - 125
Number of pinned teamates ignored - 69
Number of pinned/smoker'd allies healed -20 (This is pretty fun)
Number of Smokers missing The Target even though it is red and then I rage quit - *fatal error*
Number of stuff francis hates - *fatal error*

Left 4 dead 2 Satistics:
Number of tanks seen with stylish pants - ALL OF THEM
Number of times Rochelle has to say "lemme AXE you a question" - Until you uninstall the game.
Number of stuff Ellis loves - 1
Number of times the jockey will laugh - Infinite times
Number of conversations the charger can have with himself at the same time - 5
Number of hotdogs thrown down hallways - ohgodwhat
Number of Missing infected jaws - 2
Number of times Keith has almost died - 999