Washertons
George Washington   Mount Vernon, Virginia, United States
 
 
A war is coming.

(Expand for info)

Paraphrased Autobiography
I am George Washington, first president of the United States of America and Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. I single-handedly slaughtered the entire British army with my trusty minigun, resulting in the victory against England's forces and formation of the United States. Afterward, I reversed the attack and conquered their land, renaming it to the United Kingdom in our honor. I am the inventor of the personal computer. My homeboy, Colonel Sanders (my vice president during my eighth term in office), invented carbonated gravy and his signature FLG™ Sauce after I told him his chicken and mashed potatoes didn't have enough flavor. I am running in the 2016 presidential election for a sixteenth term. I promise to revive FDR and JFK if I am re-elected into office. My vice president will be William Corgwallis. My end-goal will be to conquer Greece, Mexico, and India by the end of my twentieth term, if I get another winning streak, that is. I also invented noscoping. I have over 400 trillion confirmed kills from duels in my record books, so don't challenge me unless you want my musket up your ass. My only child, Adolf Hitler, died in the War of 1812 because someone named Jesus Christ shot him in an alley during a drug deal gone awry. To this day, nobody knows the whereabouts of this man. If you have any information that can assist us in solving the investigation and bringing this monster to justice, call this number immediately: (336) 432-0386. Also, don't forget to vote #washington2016 this coming election!

We have lost. There is no reason that we were defeated in this election by Donald Trump. My retribution is inevitable. #washertons2020

IN MEMORY OF MARTHA STEWART
July 4, 1776 – September 11, 2001
"Killed to death by accident."

IN MEMORY OF COLONEL SANDERS
January 1, 1969 – December 0, ????
"But who was phone?"

Actual Bio
Last updated: Jun. 24, 2017
• My name is Logan.
• If I give you any attention, I'm likely your friend. Otherwise, I probably don't care for you.
• I enjoy all genres of music, excluding country. My favorite is heavy metal.
• Magic: The Gathering is my favorite card game.
• My favorite video game system is the PlayStation.
• I have a SoundCloud [soundcloud.com], in case you want to use it for meme value. (Like my YouTube channel, I never upload there, and when I do, you should probably be scared of the content.)
• I spend way too much time fucking around, but then again, who doesn't?
• Don't ask to trade me, because I won't (unless you're a cool kid).
• I stream on Twitch [twitch.tv] sometimes.
• Interrobang is the best name for a punctuation mark.
• Some of my close friends and I are in a group known as Trash Collectors , which I made for group gaming purposes among ourselves.
• I'm pansexual and panromantic. Tits and cock are both great. Ass is the best part though.
Most importantly: If you have an issue with me, just fuck off. Seriously. You're a waste of time and space.
Currently Offline
Last Online 4 hrs, 0 mins ago
Items Up For Trade
1,047
Items Owned
407
Trades Made
1,104
Market Transactions
items you will never own
Favorite Group
Taking out the trash.
12
Members
2
In-Game
6
Online
0
In Chat

Recent Activity

31 hrs on record
last played on Nov 18
2,122 hrs on record
last played on Nov 18
15.1 hrs on record
last played on Nov 11
Physical Bonga Jun 2 @ 5:17pm 
kill me
Physical Bonga Jun 2 @ 5:16pm 
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Step 1: Highlight all numbers.
Step 2: Click ctrl F.
Step 3: Click 8 once.
Step 4: You'll see what it says
3DT | AManWithABadFrenchAccent Dec 3, 2016 @ 11:02pm 
i accepted ur friend. pay up now. i want tribute. i demand at least a ghastly gibus preferable strange. you have until sunset or ul b put to hang
Washertons Nov 25, 2016 @ 1:15am 
nvm
Washertons Sep 25, 2016 @ 10:35pm 
someone buy me garfield kart
Johnny Cash Apr 10, 2016 @ 7:54pm 
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