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Gameplay Stats
Member since:
November 25, 2007
Steam Rating:
9.8
Playing time:
31.2 hrs past 2 weeks
Dragon Age II
9.8 hrs / 72.3 hrs
Dota 2
4.7 hrs / 10.8 hrs
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
4 hrs / 54.4 hrs
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Jade Empire: Special Edition
3.9 hrs / 3.9 hrs
VVVVVV
3.4 hrs / 4.4 hrs
Bastion
1.5 hrs / 2.2 hrs
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sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT
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Simon_Says

Profile _

Gladiators!

a.k.a. Simon_Says

Calgary, Alberta, Canada 

Some of you are thinking you won't fight. Others, that you can't fight. They all say that until they're out there...

Thrust a sword into another man's chest, and the crowd will applaud and love you for it. The silence before you strike - and the noise after... It rises, it rises like a storm! As if you were the Thunder God himself! In time, you may even begin to love them for that. Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how, but we can decide how we meet that end in order that we are remembered... as men.


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*General Balls posted on December 26, 2011 @ 12:54pm
No! Don't fall for it! It's a tra- Nothing wrong here. Move along.
 
Zap Rowsdower posted on December 10, 2011 @ 7:27pm
Retardio
 
Smurfferdid posted on November 27, 2011 @ 7:13am
DAH!
 
*General Balls posted on November 01, 2011 @ 1:32am
Fallout Mod Manager hates Steam! Or vice versa! They don't like each other! I can't help it!

:(
 
Keralastic posted on September 29, 2011 @ 2:22pm
...
 
sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT posted on September 10, 2011 @ 11:06pm
Better than kings...GODS.


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Cake Vs. Steak - Public
13 Members  |  0 In-Game  |  3 Online  |  0 In Group Chat

We're gonna need to eat our last sandviches...

Life. You either live it to the full, or work so you can live it to the full. It’s the philosophy that a lot of us live by, and it works. The only problem with this is that when we do live life to the full, it’s often very hard to return to reality again. Inevitable comparisions are drawn between the best and the normal, and it often becomes clear that the best can logically turn into a place you wish you’d never been, simply because returning to everyday life can be such an incredibly uncomfortable jolt. But is that jolt worth the experiences that life brings?

Oh yes.

Visit Cake Vs. Steak's profile

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Public
11,880 Members  |  494 In-Game  |  2,613 Online  |  10 In Group Chat

uberchargednet - Public
978 Members  |  64 In-Game  |  255 Online  |  0 In Group Chat


Games recommended by Simon_Says _

It has a unique aesthetic, fluid movement, some interesting environments and obstacles, and yet at the end I was glad that I hadn't actually bought this game. It's a trial-and-error puzzle platformer where the t&e and puzzle facets clash with each other at almost every turn.

Solve a puzzle, behold as your progress is impeded time and again by clumsy platforming riddled with issues beyond the player's control. Survive a challenging platforming segment, find yourself crashing against clumsy, chore-like puzzles. These two gamestyles do not flow together here. For every moment of genuine enjoyment with the game, there are many more where the game basically repeats "Do it again, Stupid." ad nauseum. It doesn't help that neither the platforming nor the puzzles on their own are actually any good either.

Basically, while it initially looks to be a unique and engaging indie experience, it ultimately just comes across as pretentious and lacking.

View all 2 comments February 8th, 2012 @ 10:09pm

"The accumulated filth of all their griefing and team-killing will foam up about their waists and all the magicians and wizards will look up and shout "Save us!"

... and I'll look down and whisper 'No.' "

View all 1 comment January 12th, 2012 @ 11:07am

"Now you're thinking with balls."

Walking from this I had two impressions. 1) Someone tried to surf Portal's waves. 2) Someone watched Kingdom of the Crystal Skull one too many times.

Teotl made a noble effort to avoid making an extended reiteration of Chamber 17. The puzzles are fun and varied, the art design is great, and despite a little Xen Syndrome later on has a good sense of pacing and flow. However since the entire game focuses on the titular Ball, which I affectionately christened Samus, the game does lack that certain ingenuity and visual pizzazz Valve's wormholes had. If you were good at Portal 2, you'll breeze through this.

The plot is, well, balls. You've seen it before: Ancient Astronauts, go return their Macguffin. That's it. No characters, a threat that isn't followed up, lame ending, there's little replay incentive. Come for the sights, not the tale. Still I would rate this story over KotCS. Make of that what you will.

TLDR - It's not great, but it's good enough.

Leave a comment October 17th, 2011 @ 11:04pm