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Thomas

Minnesota, United States

60 above zero:
>Floridians turn on the heat.
>People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
>Californians shiver uncontrollably.
>People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
>Italian & English cars won't start.
>People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
>Distilled water freezes.
>The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
>Floridians don coats, thermal
>underwear, gloves, wool hats.
>People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
>New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
>People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
>People in Miami all die.
>Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
>Californians fly away to Mexico
>People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
>Hollywood disintegrates.
>The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
>Washington DC runs out of hot air.
>People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
>Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
>Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
>ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
>People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
>Hell freezes over.
>Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.