It's a wonderful internet:


It was holiday time,
and George sat in his den.
Playing his online games
with all his online friends.
Suddenly he got shot
by some chump called RaNgE_R0v3R.
And his characted died -
That was it, man - Game over.

He roared out in dismay,
"That's not right - it's not fair!
I'm the best at this game -
no one else can compare!"
Then he cried with a frown,
and a voice full of scorn,
"I wish the internet
had never been born!"

His spine felt a chill,
and he heard a strange sound.
Then everything started
to change all around.
His DSL modem
vanished in a puff,
And he noticed a diffirence
in all of his stuff.

As he looked all around him,
his happiness grew.
"There's just one explanation -
my wish has come true!
The internet's gone,
thanks to angels above.
Now I can get back
to the things that i love!"

"I'll chill with my buddies."
He picked up the phone.
But when he looked for their numbers,
he found he had none.
So he called for his girlfriend,
so they could hang out.
But she had disappeared,
so he started to shout.

Then he heard a strange voice
whispering in his ear,
"Without email you've
lost track of your friends, I fear.
And your girlfriend won't show up,
however you whine.
Don't forget, you first met
in a chatroom online."

"Who needs friends?
I'll just listen to my MP3's"
But his iPod turned into
Phil Collins CDs.
George recalled that before
online music began,
He had been a Bon Jovi
and Phil Collins fan.

"What is this?
I don't listen to this kind of noise!
Oh who cares?
I've got cool movies, novels and toys!
The voice said "They're all gone,
or do you forget,
You purchased all of that
great stuff on the 'Net."

George was shaken,
but stayed as calm as he was able.
"I don't care about that stuff
'cause I've still got cable."
But just then his power went
off with a blink,
And the water would no longer
pour from his sink.

The landlord knocked twice,
then the front door was kicked in.
"Get outta here George," the man yelled,
"You're evicted!"
George cursed as he was pushed
into the night's chills,
"Drat! I used online banking
to pay all my bills!"

A large noisy crowd
stood in front of a store,
That george hadn't seen there
on his street before.
He ran through them all
in a staggering job.
"I wish i could bitch about
this in my Blog."

"I will jump to my death -
this new world i detest!
But how will I find a bridge
without Mapquest?
And how will i go there?
I'll never get far;
It was through online research
that I bought my car."

George stood on the rail
of the bridge he had found,
After eight freezing days
of just wandering around.
As he started to jump
the strange voice cried out "No!"
Look, the world's changing back,
and it's starting to snow."

"Thanks angel," George yelled.
"Things are back like before!"
"I'm no angel," the voice said.
"My name is Al Gore.
I invented the internet
so you and me
could do the things that we love
a bit more easily."

George ran to his home
just as fast as he could,
And he saw that everything
looked just as it should.
his friends gathered 'round,
so did his girlfriend, Eve.
Even Al Gore was there,
so George asked him to leave.

They played holiday music
and had a good time,
Then they ordered some pizzas
(They did it online).
The doorbell rang, and George said,
"When you hear a bell
a baby website
gets its own URL."

Onc more the internet
brought people together.
With the things that they loved,
life was easier and better.
So our moral is one
you should never forget:
For all it does,
It's a wonderful internet.