Be Awesome When You Need To Be
Every morning, when you wake up, you head off to the bathroom. You snooze. You don't want to wake up, you want to stay in that awesome dream of yours. Damn it, damn whatever which interrupted it!
But wait! As you pick up your toothbrush, and glance upon your toothpaste... holy macaroni! It's actually L. Ron Hubbard! Wait, wait... aw damn, it's not. But as you clutch it tightly, and squeeze the thing, paste doesn't come out... awesomeness does. Fascinated, you drop it onto your toothbrush and voila! You've got the Awesome Toothpaste in your hand!
Your hand shivers. It shakes. It's a moment of truth as you lift it higher, higher... and scrub your teeth. Your brain slows, as you re-experience the awesomeness you've felt throughout your life. But it's only a short moment... but don't be disappointed. A voice rings out, screaming, blasting into your head...
"Join the Awesome Toothpaste Union!"
In a few seconds after joining, you feel a searing delight come upon yourself, and woah... you are awesome.
Dedicated to our original founder: bigburpco
Est. May 13 2006
